Please Don't Go

(Authors note: Get tissues ready 🫶 Also i take tips and recommendations with open arms <3)

"Chuuya....I really have to go on this mission..." Dazai says quietly while Chuuya grips onto him like it's his last time ever hugging him.

"I don't want to let you go...." Chuuya says quietly.

"Then don't, we can stay like this for a little longer." He says while lifting Chuuya up lightly and sitting on the couch. Chuuya hugs him even tighter with his legs wrapped around Dazais waist, the both of them wonder why Chuuya is so scared to let Dazai go.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Dazai asks while rubbing circles on Chuuyas outer thigh.

"I don't know..." He whispers with his voice cracking. Tears start to slip past his eyes and soft sobs come out of his quivering lips. He bites his bottom lip to tries and hold the sobs back but it doesn't work.

"Chuu...." Dazai says quietly.

"Please.....don't go...." Chuuya begs through the tears feeling like hes at an all time low.

"I can't Chuuya....I have to go..." Dazai lifts Chuuya off his lap and sets him on the couch before kissing the top of his head. "I promise I'll be back soon." He whispers before leaving out the front door.

Chuuya stay on the couch with his mind running a mile a minute. Usually Chuuya has his off days where all he can think about is his past, but today... today something is different.

               You aren't human.

     What makes you think he cares?
               
                        He probably thinks you're just an attention seeker.

   You're making his life worse.

         The world would be better if you just didn't exist.

     Your friends aren't real.

                        Your memories aren't real.

You aren't real.

His sobs become louder and louder before an idea pops into his head that scares him to his very core.

Just kill yourself. Dazai will be happier without the stress you put onto him.

He sits up on the couch and realizes an hour has passed already. Chuuya shakily pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials Dazai's number.

"If he answers I won't do it, if he doesn't....." He winces at the thought as the line starts to hum.

The line keeps humming and humming till finally...."We're sorry, the person you are trying to reach is currently unavail-" Chuuya hangs up and pulls his phone away from his ear.

"I guess he really doesn't care...." he mumbles to himself.

Chuuya pulls up Dazais contact and text him a quick goodbye message before standing up and dragging himself to the bathroom. He grabs a pill bottle and opens it pouring out a big handful, preparing himself for what hes about to do.

DAZAIS POV:

Dazai finally got a break after an hour-long meeting with a potential ally. He was told to see Mori after so he grabbed a drink and started walking to the meeting room. He wishes he could go home....Chuu is at the lowest hes ever seen...

Dazai feels his phone vibrating but decides to ignore it. It's probably just a scam anyway. He heads into the meeting room and sits down while Mori starts to explain a plan to stop a small, but strong, group of people against the Port Mafia.

Dazais phone makes a small vibration letting him know he got a text. Of course he sneakily checks it since he knows Chuuya tends to send cute little messages while hes at the base, he just wants to make sure Dazai is still alive but never admits it, Dazai assumes that's why so he always answers them. But this time....his message makes Dazais heart drop.

Chibi Chuuya: "Hey Dazai.... I love you. Please don't blame yourself."

Dazai jolts up out of his seat knocking it backwards. Everyone looks at him and Mori sighs.

"Please don't joke around right now Daz-" He stops his sentence when he sees the pure terror on Dazais face.

"Go." He says with a gesture towards the door.

Dazai nods and runs out of the room as fast as he can, praying that he makes it on time.

He bursts through the apartment door and looks around for Chuuya.

"CHUUYA!" He yells while running to the bathroom.

CHUUYA'S POV:

Chuuya has a mouthful of pills ready to swallow when he hears his name.

"CHUUYA!"

No....please Dazai no....Chuuya tries to swallow the pills but Dazai bursts into the bathroom and knocks the pill bottle out of the gingers hand. He then pries Chuuya's mouth open making all the pills pour out onto the floor.

At this, the tears that Chuuya has been holding in for so long explode. Loud sobs erupt from his lips while Dazai hugs him as tight as he can.

"Chuuya....I can't live without you...." He whispers. His voice quivering from the prior events.

"I'm sorry....I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" Chuuya says with the guilt hitting him like a truck.

"Promise....promise me you won't do it...." Dazai whispers. Chuuya nods into his chest.

"I won't- I promise I won't-" He says between hiccups.

"Good...." Dazai says barely below a whisper.

A few minutes pass and Chuuyas finally calmed down.

"Chuuya....I've wanted to say this for a while but....you know....I can't express my feeling that well because of the Mori. But after.....after what you almost did...I'm going to say it before I regret it."

Chuuya pulls away from the hug so he can look up at the taller brunette. Dazai looks down at him and moves his hand from Chuuyas back down into his pocket.

"Chuuya....I love you...so..so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you...so...." He pulls a small box out of his pocket and opens it. Chuuyas eyes widen when he sees a beautiful ring with red jems along the silver band.

Words are carved into the inside, it says "Partners In Crime" which is what Dazai always calls the two of them, Chuuya acts like he hates it but he absolutely adores it. "Chuuya Nakahara...will you marry me...?" He says quietly with a small blush.

Tears start to spill again but this time, Chuuya is happy. "Y-yes- YES!" He leaps forward and hugs Dazai tightly, feeling his whole body relax at Chuuyas answer.

He pulls away again to let Dazai put the ring onto his finger. He look down at it and smiles.

They were supposed to spend the rest of their lives with one  another....but you can't always keep that promise...

Dazai sniffles while looking down at Chuuyas grave. Thinking back to when he proposed. Atsushi stands beside Dazai crying as well, he doesn't know who Chuuya is, but seeing the always happy Dazai so sad is painful.

"Why'd you have to leave..." He says between sobs.

Atsushi hugs Dazai, pulling him down and letting him cry into his shoulder. "I know Dazai....I know...." Dazai hugs Atsushi tighter, wishing that he could turn back time and stop Chuuya from grabbing the gun... maybe then he'd still be here...maybe then he would have been able to see Dazai today... maybe then they could have spent the rest of eternity together...

But no matter how much it hurts, Chuuya is gone. He is gone and Dazai can't do anything about it. "He would have loved to meet you..." Dazai whispers to Atsushi..

He would have loved it....