Because of You

Chapter 23!

Song Recommendations:·       

 Potential Breakup Song- Aly and AJ (disneyyy bixchess)·      

  Blame it (On the Alcohol) (because why not)

 Song Featured:·       

 Ain't it fun- Paramore

 It took me a while to actually realize what had just happened, and when I did I rushed to the bathroom to cry a little more without people noticing and quietly judging me in their heads. Gram and I are broken up.

 What?

 To completely describe how I'm feeling right now is probably the hardest thing you could ever ask me to do. Because I don't even completely know how I feel, and I don't think there are even words to describe it.

 You know when your friends or someone you know is dealing with a heartbreak and you see them crying all the time. Or they just are not up for anything, so you think that they are overreacting?

 They aren't.

 When people say "my heart is split in half" or anything like that, it actually feels that way. Because that one person who made your heart a whole is now gone, because they don't want to anymore. They want to make other peoples' hearts whole, or let somebody else make their heart a whole, and it won't be yours.So, there's nothing else to have but a broken heart, a shattered, ripped, shredded, heart that can probably never be replaced. Yeah, you'll find another heart, but it won't be as special, or exactly like the one that is now dead.One that isn't beating anymore.   

   And if you get your heartbroken there's that one question that won't escape your mind: why?

 Why was I never good enough for this person?

 Why does this person not love me anymore?

 Why does he have to hurt me, break me?

 WHY?

 That one question eats you alive, until you don't have anything left.

 So, I gave myself ten minutes in the bathroom alone sitting on their freezing cold ass tiled flooring, crying into my hands. Yes, I had to yell at a few people who wanted to use the restroom to leave me alone. Yes, I did get called a few names. But no, it doesn't hurt as much.

 Nothing could hurt as much.

 And when I finally stood up, and looked myself into the mirror, that question swirled up inside my head. I looked dead. My face turned pale, lips chapped. I had mascara and eyeliner all over my eyes, and some on my cheeks from wiping my eyes. My hair was overly frizzy, and my eyes were bloodshot. But I didn't give two shits to fix anything.

 I unlocked the door, turned the knob slowly, swung the door open and walked out.   

 I couldn't quite recognize the song that was playing; probably another one from the radio. The house was packed, a lot more people had shown up and seeing them look so happy, dancing around made me want to puke.

 Once I reached the bottom floor, I made my way towards the door. There was no way in hell I was staying, he told me himself he wanted me gone.

 That he doesn't want me here.

 As I squeezed my way through sweaty teenage boys that reek of alcohol, I placed my hand on the doorknob. Taking one last breath, I turned it slowly.

 "Rosalie?" I heard someone shout through the crowd and my stomach dropped.

 Shit, no. I turned around and found Zoe trying to make her way to me.

 But as doing so, someone quickly slapped her ass, causing her to giggle unncontrolobly, her cheeks filling with color.