Moon on the meadow

Chapter 1: no remorse

Triggers: abuse, drinking, self-harm.

Hopping out of our creaky old shower, still with the feeling of grime clinging to my skin. The mold behind the toilet fills the air with its rancid odor. Looking in the mirror I could see the black eye that was implanted on my face. No makeup could cover this up without still being noticeable. With a heavy sigh, I scattered to find a shirt and pants in the bathroom. Only being able to grab an old grey T-shirt and black worn-out sweatpants. I pulled my short dark brown hair into a ponytail. Taking a quick glance at my phone, 6:26. I walked out of the bathroom; just to be faced with Kieran's bottles laying around making our house smell of alcohol. Kieran started drinking more after Mom's death, she used to stop him because it would make what he did worse. Mom loved Kieren, she tried to make it work, even when he hurt me. Now I'm stuck alone with him, with no one to tell him to stop, but me. I pulled a maroon zip-up over my arms and slung my school bag over my shoulder the same bag my mom got for me with my name on the side 'Cameron' it reads; I walked out our house's doorway and onto the sidewalk. Now walking the nicely short distances to the school. Just an average 20-minute walk, no biggie.

The air in the crowded school halls hung heavy with a noticeable sense of indifference. The walls echoed with the bustling sounds of laughter, chatter, and footsteps, I being almost invisible to the world around me. To be fair, I look like any background character you could think of unless it's anime.. Some of those characters are like non-other (in a good way?). I cast my eyes downward to avoid the gaze of others around. The vibrant chaos of the hallways only made me feel more alone. Everyone has a friend or a buddy. Someone to talk to, and share their problems. I don't. The noise surrounding me seemed to blend into an indistinguishable murmur. Shoulders bumping into me. Arms grazing mine, the feeling made me want to vomit. Everything started to feel unreal, as if I was just watching someone walk to class, that I was not controlling the walking I was doing the murmur soon turned into a ring, not the ring of a bell but like the ringing in your ears. Fortunately, I was snapped out of it by a person id never met. "Hey? Are you okay? You don't seem very well" She had her hands on my shoulders holding me there. The laughter of her friends engulfed me. "I'm fine," I say as whacked her arms off of mine. I started up my path to class again, and as I did I finally heard the only ring I want to hear, the class bell.

I walked into the classroom, my heart pounding with unease. Most students were in their seats staring at me as I was late. The bruise still adorned my eye, a painful reminder of a recent incident. As I walked to my seat, I noticed the only person who actually saw me, but not in the way anyone would hope. Peyton, the guy who seemed to derive pleasure from tormenting others. His eyes locked onto me, filled with a malicious gleam. My heart sank as I realized what was about to come. "You not loved enough at home or something they gotta beat you?" Peyton's words, sharp as knives, cut through the air, drawing attention to my bruised eye. The laughter from his friends and the high fives they gave only drew attention from the teacher. Peyton isn't wrong but he didn't have to say it out loud. "Alright class this week we will be starting duo projects-" sighs filled the room, "-and to make it fun, since we have an even amount of boys and girls, boys will pull a name out of a hat and that will be their partner. And please no funny business I rather not be fired" Eh sounds like an okay thing.

"The project will be on facts and funs of Alaska, and at the end of the month we will take a trip to Alaska for 3 days!" Honestly. What's Alaska? Know it's a place but what..

Guys started pulling names from a hat, Ernie getting Bella, Austin getting Otto, Jamie Getting Jenna until I got pulled. "Oh yay you got Cameron"

"No no no can I please switch?"

"No Peyton there is no switching" I got Peyton. The one person I never wanted. This week is gonna be hell.

"The project will need to have at least 15 slides about the facts and fun things to do in Alaska, this is also time to get to know each other cause these are also your buddy groups for when we are in Alaska!" Oh GREAT, I'm with Peyton even AFTER this week. I looked up at Peyton to see his rage Yet, there he was, smiling awkwardly as if he had no idea how much pain he had caused me. Which is unusual, why doesn't he seem angry anymore? The moment he saw I was looking at him that awkward smile turned into rage. Ah, there's the Peyton I know I thought. I glanced around, searching for any sign of support from my classmates. Again though, no one knew me. The only thing these kids have seen of me is Peyton bullying and they never supported me before why would they now? As I looked, I found curious stares and suppressed giggles. Of course, they were, of course, it was funny. It seemed like everyone was waiting to witness some kind of dramatic showdown between us. But they had no idea what it felt like to be on the receiving end of Peyton's bullying, the humiliation he has put on me, and the truth he speaks when he talks about the bruise. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, my heart pounding in my chest. How could I possibly work with him? And worse of all it's not like he would let me in his home and my home.. How could I trust Keiran not to do something while he is there? Keiran doesn't care who is around. He will do what he wants as long as he is happy about it. I was shaken out of my thoughts by Peyton "Cameron bro we are starting it at your house."