Our Different Densities

Chapter UNO

Doing my homework has always been a pain in my butt. I just personally found it a waste of the student's time and the teachers' hours as well. I mean, you go to school, and you learn, you practice, the usual, but what was the point of bringing it home?

Homework was actually what I am doing now. Trigonometry equations and verb conjugations was always a fun thing to do while the computer and T.V just screamed at you, willing you to waste time with them while your sitting there helpless against their powers. However, I learned early that saying: "Oh, I'll only be on for five minutes." was totally just a waste of precious oxygen.

In need of a break, I push of from my chair by my desk and yank my bedroom door open, walking straight into the kitchen for a bottle of water. My mom was sitting at the dining table with papers and envelopes spread around her in frenzy. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, but my mom absent-mindedly fingered a strand that had fell lose in agitation and stress.

"What's up, mom? What's all this for?" I gestured to the paper storm that had occurred on our table, reaching into our fridge for a Dasani. She sighs, shaking her head slightly.

"I just have a lot of stuff to sort out. Things are getting a lot harder, now days." Furrowing my brow, I took a seat across from her and started to sort through the papers. I found most of them being bank estimates and bills.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, with your dad gone, money isn't coming in as easy as it once had. I'm struggling to figure out a way to keep things steady around here, and it's a lot tougher than it looks." She removes her reading glasses and closes her eyes, rubbing her fingers in a steady, circular motion on her temples. "I'm still trying to figure some stuff out, but I think if things were to turn for the worst, we just might have to take you out of private school and back into public." Hearing those words come from my mother mouth shattered my heart into a million pieces. Public school... just thinking about it made my stomach churn. I could never go back to that place! It was a just a nightmare from hell that I could never seem to escape, but private school made me happy. The happiest I've been since 8th grade, couldn't she see that?

"What? You can't do that to me! You know what happened and I can't go back to that! It would ruin me!"

"I know. And I'm trying my best. I am. I really am." She pleads. "But private school was a luxury that we used to be able to afford and with being in this situation we are in now, we no longer have extra money for luxuries. We have to cut down a little bit to make it through."

"Then cut down on the pop-tarts and ice-cream you buy!" I yell. "Those are luxuries too, right?"

My mom gives a hint of a smile and lightly chuckles. "You're right. We absolutely need to cut down on that too. But saving a few dollars here and there isn't going to cover the mortgage bills or your car. Drastic cuts need to be made, and believe me; I don't want you to go to public. If it was my choice, you wouldn't have to worry about this, and we wouldn't need to be talking about it either. Besides, we're discussing this like its set in stone. It's an option that we might just have to take, but it's not permanent." Hearing her say that gave me a sliver of hope to hang on to. You just need to calm down, Becky. Take deep breaths because it might not happen, okay?

Remembering my homework upstairs, I slowly rise up and tell my mom that I had stuff to do and needed to finish my homework. Up in my room, I tap my pencil against my desk, my mind scanning the problems on the paper numbly. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts, but the only thing that I was remotely able to think about was public school. What would I do if I did have to go? Surely, I'd have to kill myself just to end my always-occurring and never-gone-for-long misery.