𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 · 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥 ⁶

𝟔.𝟕

"You didn't deny being friends." He eyed me. "Did you?"

"Look," I stood up, raising my hands in surrender. "I understand this is extremely complicated and makes no sense to you as you were on Earth yesterday coming out of a war zone, and woke up today a billion miles away from our original planet only to be thrown all of this at you. I get it."

"Has he ever hurt you since you got on the ship?" Thea questioned. "That's all that concerns me. He always sounded like a real jerk, not to mention the fading scars on your forearms."

"No." I shook my head. "The truth is he could have taken over, but he didn't. Do not ask me why."

"He... could?" Bellamy hesitated.

"It was really hard for a while for several different reasons I will not relive." I eyed him. "My mind was weak. I dare say as weak as I've gotten. The Commanders knew it. He knew it. He could've killed me in the Flame and taken over my body. Easy as breathing. You wouldn't even know. But he didn't." I sighed and licked my lips. "For me, it's been years, guys, and whether I want to admit it out loud or not, Sheidheda was there through all of it, just like all the other Commanders because they live permanently in my head. I am bound to bond with them."

"I don't think any of us will ever understand what you have and will continue going through." Octavia conceded. "No one has ever gotten to this point."

"If it makes you feel any better, I have fought with him endless times and he hasn't won often. Like..." I bit my tongue. "10% of the time if I'm generous."

"8.732% would be the precise number." Becca corrected me.

A smile pulled at the corners of my lips as I saw Thea and Octavia jumping slightly on their seats, looking around with amused eyes. It would take them all a bit to get used to that, but they eventually would.

"Proving once again that I am, in fact, not invincible." I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "Rude, honestly. I much prefer thinking of myself as unkillable."

"You can get on a physical fight in the Flame?"

"Short of." I glanced at Jordan. "It is physical in the sense that we hit each other, but my actual body that you see does not get hurt because it all happens in my head." I narrowed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I sound mental. It's almost funny."

"I have just one more question. Again." Octavia stood up and walked to stand in front of me, taking my face in her hands and gluing her eyes to mine. "Are you safe?"

"I am."

I nodded as she still held me. I understood all the implications. I was safe in the sense I had fought my demons from Earth, I had mourned those I had lost, unhealthy at first, but the Commanders helped me and guided me to a better place. I was safe in my own mind, and also in the Flame as being completely bonded with it meant no Commander could or would dare try to disturb that peace; not even Sheidheda, as much as he hated the rest, would dare attempt the shit he first had pulled on me. I knew no one had had the Flame for as long as I had, so that must've counted for something. It was uncharted territory for all of us, after all.

"Can we speak to Sheidheda?"

"I assume you mean without me as an emissary." I chuckled as Octavia let go of me turning wide-eyed to Thea like what she had asked was insane. "Yes, when we go to the gym." I cleared my throat. "But before that, two more people need to join us."