The Marauders and Sirius Black's Mixtape

WILD THING

I think it really only appropriate to tell you about mine and my Moony's song as one of the very first things I tell you about. And yeah maybe it should've been the very first thing but I had some stuff on my mind before and I'm new to this whole talking to you lot thing so I'm bound to have some straying thoughts before I get it together and talk important things, yeah? So let me tell you about the time Remus Lupin gave me an eight track player and the Trogg's song Wild Thing.

Actually first let me tell you some cool shit about Wild Thing.

It was taped written in like twenty minutes by this bloke called Chip Taylor, who wrote it and did a demo of it and sold it off to some band in America who recorded it and really crapped all over it. They didn't get any recognition for it and that's why nobody's ever heard of the "original" version and the Troggs get to take the credit for it because their version actually made charts all over the world and even got called one of the best rock songs of all time by a couple magazines - you know just unimportant ones like Rolling fucking Stone magazine. So clearly my boyfriend has good taste when choosing songs for us.

Random fact for you is that Chip Taylor is actually the brother of Jon Voight, the actor. Hannah says that he's some actress named Angelina Jolie's father but I've not any clue who she is.

Anyway...

So this bloke gives The Troggs a go with his song and the song did real well on charts in 1965. They say the ocarina solo featured in the song is one of the stand-out moments for it... as well as possibly being the only instance of an ocarina being cool.

The Troggs made Wild Thing enough of a hit that one day ANIMAL FROM THE MUPPETS played it and it became his theme song. 

Remus says Animal is me if I was a muppet. I think if I was a muppet I'd be Rolf. Remus would be Scooter. He thinks he'd be Kermit.

James says I'd be Piggy.

Gonzo is the muppet that covered Queen. (Look up Gonzo's cover of Bohemian Rhapsody if you'd like to feel like you're on the wildest drug trip of your entire life.)

But none of this rubbish means shit to me compared to the fact that my werewolf boyfriend went to great lengths to obtain the song for me. He got it for me for my birthday and I tried to give him my whole heart in return but the fucker fell asleep instead of staying awake long enough for me to confess my love...

Sometimes I listen ot Wild Thing and I think maybe Chip Taylor was spying on me and Remus at some point and was like well damn and wrote the song about us. Even though the song employs the word "groovy" it still manages to be the sexiest damn song on the face of the whole planet.

The amount of things Remus and I have gotten up to during the time it takes to play the  record start to finish 11 times is really intense. Why 11, you ask? The number was determined with scientific precision once when I said, "I wonder how many times I'd have to replay this song in order for us to have a good shag to it?"

Remus bet fifteen or more.

He was trying to show off.

"We'll never go for fifteen times over!" I said. 

I know I am weak.

I guessed more like eight.

So we had to figure out who was correct then, obviously, it was practically a requirement we give it a go while keeping count. To this day, Remus says I threw it before we got to fifteen on purpose. I say another 4 times listening to the record while calculating logistics may well have killed me, but I'm willing to try again any time he wants to.

Remus sold a load of drawings to Nicholas Flamel for his book about the Philosopher's Stone that he released back in the mid 70s and is used as a high alchemy text that only peple studying alchemy and potions at the university level study. There's also a book in the Hogwarts library in the restricted section that has an article about Flamel and the Philosopher's Stone that features one of Remus's illustrations.

Blimey I've always been a sucker for a boy with a sketchbook... 

But anyone who studies alchemy and potions or romping through the restricted section is given the blessing of seeing Remus Lupin's most excellent drawing skills. 

My werewolf has talent oozing from his finger tips.

Remus actually fancied becoming an illustrator for awhile, not that he ever told James and Peter that. He might've told Lilith but if he did then she didn't ever say anything about it. But Remus told me. One of the many times we lay awake at night staring out the dormitory window while snuggling under the blankets (and not much else because of RULE NUMBER ONE) we were talking and he told me that he wanted to illustrate children's books one day or else to be a teacher. Eventually, he chose being a teacher. 

I thought that was pretty cool.

And he really is good enough at drawing to illustrate whole books. You lot missed out on some brilliant drawings, I'll tell you what!

Of my collection of music that I left behind on my way to Azkaban, there were only a few Remus Lupin kept. This was one of them. 

He said once, later, when we were sitting in the house in Costa Rica, talking everything over... "I couldn't get rid of that one - that's our song, inn'it?" 

I love it when he says words improperly. Like 'inn'it'.