Life of a teenage creep

Olivia Encounters Strange Porn(Part One- no one I actually know, please.)

Ok, anyone who has been on my joint account knows I write porn. Anyone who has read a sufficiently advanced fic of mine knows I write porn. This is a fact of life; II know how sex goes and can describe it accurately, yet appealingly(which is kind of hard)

Lately, on the interweb, I've been looking some stuff up, like these:

http://www.cracked.com/article_20471_the-5-most-horrific-sex-scenes-in-fan-fiction-history.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_21189_the-6-most-horrifying-sex-scenes-in-fan-fiction-pt.-4_p2.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_20471_the-5-most-horrific-sex-scenes-in-fan-fiction-history_p2.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_16554_the-5-most-baffling-sex-scenes-in-history-fanfiction.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_19992_5-fan-fiction-sex-scenes-you-wont-believe-exist.html

And, I've found, I've been writing what could be considered domestic porn, or 'tame' porn. (I find the hijacking of the word lemon kind of off-putting, so I'm calling it as it is, so sorry.

So, whilst the dark fantasies of BDSM porn have been tempting, there are whole world where things like Snape discovering the joy of body fluids with the Teletubbies are just waiting to be written.

I need to.... write these lemons. Because I have been reading about weird fanfic porn and I want to get in on it. I have to get in the trend before it gets too underground-popular. My nephew is scarily good at finding random characters, but I didn't tell him what they're for.

Mulder X Alien (of Alien)

Smoky the Bear X Simba

Squidward X Damon (TVD)

Kracken X The Great White Whale

Levi X InuYasha (peeps who hate people)

Power cord X Phone (plans I have lol)

Clouds X Mount Everest

Hose X Sprinkler

Statue of Liberty X Colossus(Jason and the Argonauts)

Magneto X Nuclear Bomb

Donald Duck X Mr. Bean

Sully X Gromit

Mr. Krabs X Crab Man

Cougar X Adam(of SBFSB)

Pronghorn X Lewis(Of actual Lewis and Clark)

Family dog X Marge's hair

Piano Cat X Balto

Klaus Baudelaire X House(Of House)

Alligator(Fantasia) X Little Nemo

Darran Shan X The Count(of Sesame Street)

Mad Mardigan X Saint Patrick(Yes, that guy)

Tevye(FOTR) X Sarah(LB T)

Skipper X Private (Penguins)

Beetle Juice X Grumpy Care Bear 

Dopey Dwarf X Woody Woodpecker(so much potential)

Flicka X Sylvester(of the Magic Pebble)

Mrs. Brisby(SON) X Rabbit (LP2)

Darryl(TWD) X Dexter(of Dexter, naturally)

Lady(L&T) X Jen (TDC)

Mercy Thompson X Beast Master

Gopher(CaddyShack) X Joe Dirt(This was me on the Gopher, my nephew on Joe dirt lol)

Tetsu-ko (Shogun) X Archimedes(TSITS)

Bolt X Chunk (Goonies)

Gru X Dora (The explorer, yes)

Thoughts on these crack ships? Also, naming random nouns or crack ships would be considered helpful in my endeavor to re-discover dwarf/Urgle porn. Thank you for your cooperation and not talking to any of my relatives he he he seriously, Kat, if I get an intervention about this I am suing your ass. For...

Harrassment. Disclosure of private information. Emotional trauma. Slander.

I can rack up charges like anyone's business, baby.