It's okay until it isn't

Drowning

Thank shuck we were relatively close to the hut.

We got to our house, and it was about an hour away from sunset. I turned to Newt, full of worry for the one person I really loved.

"Hey, you wanna go to bed now?"

Newt just nodded.

I helped him into the house and he just collapsed onto the bed. I lay down next to him, snuggling up to him.

Maybe I would be happy again.

I mean, Newt was okay.

I almost started laughing, and that's what hurt the most.

Sure, he was alive, but was he really okay?

I took one look at his hunched form, his scar covered arms, his tear streaked face, and knew the answer.

No. He wasn't.

I was almost sure he was asleep now, and I whispered into the air, more to comfort myself than him.

"It'll be okay."

Newt's POV:

I knew he thought I was asleep.

I didn't care.

I knew he said it would be okay.

I didn't care that it was a lie.

After almost an hour I heard Minho's slow breaths, and I knew he was asleep.

I dragged myself out of bed.

I couldn't stay here with the darkness.

The darkness that would drown me.

I stumbled outside, and went to sit on the beach.

My cheeks felt wet.

I guess I had started crying.

The sand scratched against my scars.

I watched as the waves crashed against the shore.

The real ocean, and my ocean of darkness meeting.

How easy it would be to fall in. . .

Slip on a rock and pass out. . .

I was awake yet not awake all night.

I was just there.

Existing.

The sun rose.

I watched it.

I heard Minho calling my name.

I ignored it.

I heard the crunch of sand as someone approached me.

I ignored it.

"Good morning Newt!"

"Morning. . ."

I didn't say good morning.

Just morning.

There would never be a good morning again.

Or afternoon.

Or night.

Or day.

Minho stayed standing while I was sitting.

"How are you?"

I snapped, and stood up, flung my hands up.

"Bloody hell Minho! How do you think? Hmm?"

Minho took a step back.

"Okay, okay, sorry. . ."

I ignored that and looked back out at the endless expanse of water. After a few minutes of silence, Minho spoke again.