Fucked up!

! 2 !

The rest of the week passed quickly and it is now Friday. All week I have only been able to look at Noah. I don't know what it is, I really never noticed how handsome he actually is.

I have decided for myself that I am going to add him on snap this afternoon after school. After this afternoon we have vacation. So then I won't have to see him for the next week.

I grab my things and put on my coat. Since it is February it is very cold. I pack my things and leave for school.

Friday also goes by quickly. This weekend I am also going away for a weekend with my parents and friends of theirs. My best friend, Amy is also going with them.

When I get home after school I say hello to my parents and walk upstairs. I go to Tessa's room, my older sister. I plop down on her bed. "hey saar, how are you?" asks Tessa. "good" I answer. "Tess, there is a boy at my school. He never caught my eye but I think he is a nice boy anyway" I say honestly to my sister. We are always honest with each other, we have a good relationship. I also have a good relationship with my parents, I'm actually always honest with them about everything.

"oh show" says Tessa enthusiastically. I smile and show a picture of Noah to her. "What a cute boy" she says. I smile and we chat some more. At 6 my mom calls us for dinner. We walk downstairs and see my parents already sitting at the table.

My father looks ahead painfully, so he had a hard day where he did too much. My father has been lamg sick for 4 years, doctors can't figure out what he has. It's very frustrating to see, you can't do anything. You feel powerless.

Many people don't know this, I don't like to talk about it. I try to solve it for myself, process it myself. This does not always go well, at night I often feel alone and I am not doing well at all. But in the morning I put on my mask and I am the royal Sara everyone knows. Or think they do. After dinner I hesitate for a moment whether to add Noah already, but finally decide not to. I got too nervous and put my phone away. I changed my clothes and went to bed. Tomorrow is another day.