Just the Way You Are

Afraid

//Akito's Perspective

Damn Toya's father to all hell. Not only did he make Toya wear that sad expression, he put me in this awkward situation. Toya was going with me to my house... Which was normal enough, but..! He just confessed to me.

I felt so stupid for not immediately saying no. It wasn't that I didn't like Toya, it was just that... I knew that I'd only hold him back. Someone like him should date someone in his league. Not some random dude who couldn't dare to compare to his talent.

I looked over to him. He was staring at me. I immediately averted my eyes. I was going to die. How was I going to sleep in the same room as him..? I gulped. It was pure awkward silence. It was better this way. With every passing word he spoke I was closer to spilling out like an overflowing river.

We arrived at my house and I noticed that the lights were off. I immediately knew what was happening. I paused. "What's wrong, Akito..?" Toya asked innocently. I sighed. "She's at it again... Just close your eyes and I'll lead you to my room.

He was confused but he followed my instructions. I blushed as I realized that I had to hold his hand to lead him through. I reluctantly took his cold hand. It was a good thing his eyes were closed, otherwise he'd see my beaming face.

I twisted the door knob and felt the depressing atmosphere settle in. The living room was a mess, the couch all torn up. My older sister, Ena was busy having another argument with dad, and it seemed they were throwing things at each other. Although Toya's eyes were closed, I was sure he could hear the screaming and shouting.

The rug had been thrown to the side, the coffee table was sideways, and there had been broken glass pieces from mom's precious china dishes. I wasn't sure how exactly mom would react when she came home from work, but I knew it wasn't going to make anything better.

"Akito! What are you doing here!?" Ena yelled as she accidentally threw something at me. I didn't say a word. My body began to shake as I ran Toya up to my room. I quickly locked the door behind us. "You can open them now..." I said my back turned to him.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me around. He looked concerned. I looked through the mirror at the corner of my room and saw tears trailing down my face. Yeah, how could Toya ever like somebody like me? I broke so easily. Not to mention that this was supposed to be a get away from his father, not a stress increaser...

Feelings of shame and guilt overwhelmed me. Toya hugged me. "Does this happen often..?" Toya asked. I shook my head. "It used to... I thought it would never happen again after mom got caught in the crossfire that one time..." I muttered. I pushed Toya away. I didn't deserve his hug, nor did I deserve his pity.

"I'm going to take a shower." I yawned as I wiped my tears. I headed toward the shower, forgetting to grab clothes to change in as I was used to changing in my room. I took off my several layers of clothes and noticed the scars that trickled down my arms.

They were a constant reminder of a previous bad habit that I struggled to shake. I sighed. I turned the knob to my shower and stepped in. The sensation of the water colliding with my scars sent shivers of pain through my body. I closed my eyes in displeasure. I could never seem to get used to it.

//Toya's Perspective

I couldn't shake the look on Akito's face. I never knew that his sister's relationship with his father was that bad... I took a look around his room. Even though I had seen it several times already, I was still amazed. Countless posters of different bands and musicians, a mountain of CDs in the corner of his room that he listened to each day, and the mannequins that encompassed his latest designs.

I walked over to his desk and I noticed a sketchbook. I had never known he had one..? I opened it and saw skillfully drawn outfit designs as well as small doodles of my face on a couple pages. I was amused. Akito never talked about his drawings. It was interesting to see this side of him, as well as his infatuation with my face.

I closed the sketchbook and fell back onto Akito's bed, it was soft. The covers were a navy blue, and his scent had been everywhere on it. I slightly blushed as I stared at the ceiling. I sat up to see Akito trying to sneak past with some clothes in his hands. He had a towel wrapped his waist. His upper body had been soaked. His wet orange hair perfectly framed his face as his green eyes widened.

"A-Akito..!" I almost shut my eyes before I noticed the scars that inhibited his arms. My heart dropped. Before I could say anything he slammed the bathroom door. "Agh..! Sorry I just forgot to grab my clothes..!" He said. I looked at the ground. Did someone hurt Akito..?
I felt my eyes blur. If so, then who..? I stayed silent as he walked in with his pajamas on. He was confused by my depressed demeanor. "Who hurt you?" I asked as I pulled up his sleeve. His eyes widened in shock. He slightly laughed

. "...No one." He sadly smiled as he sat down next to me. That was obviously a lie, but I knew better than to try and force an answer out of him. A little while went by. Akito finally broke the silence. "I did it to myself..." Akito said as he looked at the ground. I swiftly lifted up his arm and looked at it. My mind fuzzed. Why..? I looked up at Akito in disarray. "I don't do it anymore..." He said as he looked at me. His face grew even more strained.

"See..? It's too much, right..? There's no way someone like me could draw the attention of someone like you..." He said as he nearly broke down. His eyes went dark and he made a face similar to that of when I confessed to him. I pulled Akito in my arms, he was shaking and his breaths were quick. "I'm not sure what you mean.., but I'll restate it as many times as you need to hear it. I love you." I stated in full confidence.

He pushed me away. His face was red. "Dude... You just saw how crazy I am, and yet..." Akito was confused. I tilted my head. "Ugh, what will make you not love me!?" Akito snapped. My eyes lightened up as I figured out what was going on. Akito was trying to push me away. He didn't think that he was worth being loved. I sighed. I didn't want to hug him again and make him uncomfortable. So, I stared at him with a pained expression.