Changing Patterns

• 9.5 •

"Why?" His voice cracks and I almost feel like I should smile, or hug him, I'm not good at comforting people, shit is right Stiles.

"Because you need it, and your calming to be around- as weird as it sounds." I scoff at my own words and continue to work, stiles looks up again. I see him from the corner of my eyes.

"Yeah- spastic, ADHD, talkative, rambling, stiles." My head shoots up, catching a falling tear down his cheek. Stiles instantly swipes it away.

"No, no it's-"

"Derek." He pulls away, I stare at his arm then let my eyes jump to his. "Get out." A demand.

"What." I strike back, my chest tightening slightly.

"Out. Get out." He instantly turns his head away and a hand pushes me gently to get off the bed, I stand watching from a side view as a tear falls.

"Stiles-" he cuts me off again.

"Get out." His voice rises slightly and my brow pinched automatically. I sit down and stare back at him. "Derek! Get out." In an instant he's turned toward me, both legs on the bed, and pushing against my chest. I growl, not the best choice, stiles closes his eyes tightly and grips my shirt in a fist, more tears, strained as he tries to stop them.

"Derek, please get out." His please is in a begging tone, his whole sentence. More tears, stiles bows his head.

Instead of speaking I reach forward and grab his shoulder, my other hand catching his hands and pulling them off my chest. Honestly I thought he'd rip my shirt in the process. I pinch his chin between my thumb and pointer finger and make him look at me. His eyes are closed and he pulls away instantly. I copy the motion, this time as he tries to pull away my hand moves to his cheek and i let my head follow his. He grumbled something unintelligible his eyes opening and letting tears fall from them. I pull my hand away and sigh.

"Just breath." I state lowly, my voice probably scrambled in his panicking state. "Stiles." I growl. "It's okay, to cry. It's better too, I asked earlier about you being vulnerable. I meant with people. It's okay, breath with me." I take his hand from the bed and press it flat to my chest.

I inhale and exhale twice before speaking again. In, one-two-three. Out, three-two-one." I copy the exercise and words multiple times, at some point stiles caught my eyes and began speaking with me.

"One-two-three. Three-two-one." He says in a raspy voice.

I nod along with the counting and suddenly pull him closer. His breathing was calming and I could feel it catch on an inhale as I wrap my arms around him and hug him. Stiles shudders and stops counting, his breathing know even. He knees himself forward and fists the back of my shirt in his hands. I tap my fingers, pointer, middle, ring- one, two, three. Then doing so backwards and forwards again. Stiles drops his forehead onto my shoulders, his breaths becoming a bit more raspy as he starts to cry. I keep quiet.

Twenty minutes later stiles has quieted. His fists still tight on my back. I'd moved more onto the bed, one of my legs around him with his whole body leaning into my chest as he sits on his hip/side. Stiles tilts his head up a little and shakes it almost unnoticeably against my shoulder. He leans back and let's his arms slid out from under my own and looks down at his bare feet. His breaths are calm and quiet and his heart is beating in a sleep like way. My hands find his hips as I lean back as well, my neck bending awkwardly to try and see his bowed face.

"Stiles." My voice is almost a whisper, but he flinched none the less. "Shhh, it's okay." His red eyes meet mine and I shush quietly again.

"Sorry," he whispers with half a voice, my chest tightens again.

"Don't be. It's okay to cry. Fuck- if I'm gonna say it's okay-" I look away cutting myself off and finishing lower then quietly. "I do, as well.."

Stiles only stares. "About what?" He whispers, showing his wariness.

I clear my throat nervously. "Um... like the fire... and my family before that- my pack." I clear my throat and let my hands pull away, standing abruptly as I clear my throat a second time. Stiles looks hurt when I meet his eyes again.

"Sorry..." he answers looking away. I sigh and look at the door. Then offer a hand toward him.

"Why don't you, get a shirt on." I finish as he takes my hand and stands. I lean and grab the numbing cream and gauze and and over wrap. "And come down to eat when your ready." I place a small amount of numbing cream on some gauze and dab it over his cracked ribs, then toss it on the bed and handing him the wrap so he can do that.

Stiles nods. "Derek." His fingers brush my forearm as I turn away. "Thank you..." I nod and turn away, exiting the room and tapping the door at the doorframe, not yet shutting it incase he needs something and I will need to be able to hear him.

With that finishing touch I start downstairs keeping my ears trained in the small shuffling upstairs. Hesitantly taking my seat as Erica happily pipes and rushes to the kitchen to pull out the food, it settled in the oven to stay warm. When the food came out I filled two plates, one with plenty less food then my own. At first I got odd looks before taking the nearly empty plate and heading for the kitchen, placing the plate where the food had once been and sitting back down. The others already devouring their food as I took my first bite.

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