brutal | grayson hawthorne

robbery!

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I'm A Mess by Ed Sheeran
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After Liz established her and Grayson would work on solving all this together, she shouldn't have been surprised that his first request as her newfound partner in crime was breaking into the office of McNamera, Ortega, and Jones to read the Red Will his grandfather had left behind.

"I feel like there's a better way to go about this," Liz stares concerned as Grayson expertly unlocks the window leading directly to the room where the file is held.

Grayson just ignores her as he slides through the window, holding it open for her to come in after him.

"You seriously don't think this place has cameras at every corner?" Liz asks, mindlessly taking the flashlight Grayson hands her to hold as he shifts through the filing cabinet. "I'm sure Alisa would've helped us out if we'd asked nicely," she continues talking once it's clear that Grayson isn't planning on saying anything back.

"Got it," Grayson pulls out the paper with red typing on it and the red acetate in his pocket to take the paper over to the desk.

Liz places herself in front of him, so she's at the center of the paper and can move the red filter over the words without having to breathe over his shoulder.

Now, however, she realizes, he's breathing over her shoulder, and it's getting harder to pretend that the fact the boys's middle names were highlighted carries significance to her.

"They're locations," Grayson deciphers quickly. "Jameson and Avery were at the West Brook-" he gestures to Nash's middle name, "-another clue will be at each of these places."

"Okay," Liz nods, starting to put the papers away. "Can we get out of here now?"

"Since when are you afraid of getting caught?" Grayson tries with an amused tone in his voice, but then the double meaning his words hits both of them in a way it shouldn't.

They had been sneaking around that summer before Emily died.

Making out in Grayson's bed and sharing glances whenever they were hanging out in a group, knowing if Emily found out she would hate them both. She would hate being lied to and betrayed. Liz would know. It had a lot to do with what happened with Thea and Rebecca too-

"Let's get out of here," Grayson recovers by pretending there was nothing serious behind his words, first helping Liz get through the window again silently, following right behind her.

The trip back to Hawthorne House is silent, and they enter through the kitchen, Liz making a beeline for a glass of water and Grayson going straight to what's left of his ice cream.

"Do you think we should talk?" He says.

No!!! Liz wants to scream. "Yeah," sets her glass down so they can be face to face and he can't notice her hands shaking as prominently.

Liz has a lot of guilt about the summer before Emily died.

She shouldn't have been hanging around with the same guy her best friend was without telling her, but she did anyway because every time she tried telling Emily, Liz would be reminded of the way her friend was just dragging Jameson and Grayson around on a leash, and, in a way, she was helping Grayson not have to live the rest of his life eating out of the palm of Emily's hand.

She would constantly be going back and forth about how to feel about living a lie to her bestest friend, but every time she tried to end things between her and Grayson, he would be looking at her with those eyes before she even got a word out, and they'd just end up talking about whatever random decoy topic Liz came up with at the last minute because she chickened out.

But how can Liz say that? How can she explain herself without making it sound like she's making excuses?

Emotions are too much. Liz had established that ever since she saw what they did to Emily. What they made Liz do to Emily.

"We both blamed ourselves for her death," he starts intensely, like he's been waiting for this conversation. Like he can read her mind. "And we couldn't even be there for each other after it happened. We couldn't even turn to each other like we'd done ever since we were kids. Because that's the effect she'd had on us. We let her blind us to each other because we were too busy looking at her."

"Emily and I were like sisters, and you were just some guy we both wanted to hook up with," Liz turns away from his stare, because she can't let herself do this.

She wanted to go back to the Pretending Contest. Does this mean she won?

"Lizzy-" Grayson says. Like he knows her weak spots. "It was more than that between us. You know it was more than that. You felt it too."

He was right. But he shouldn't be. "We can't do this, Grayson!" She's angry now. Angry that he never listens. Angry that he's tearing her in half with his words and his stupid gray eyes. "It's not- It's not right!" She grasps at whatever words her mind can provide her. "It's not fair-"

"Not fair to who?" He matches her tone, neither's gazes wavering even as she turns toward him fully again.

"To Emily," she stares, like that's all he needed to hear.

It wasn't. All he needed to hear, that is.

"She's dead."

Liz seethes.

"Emily's dead," Grayson looks at her evenly. "And you can stop letting her control you."

"She never controlled me," Liz stares. "She may have controlled you, and your brother, and her sister, and Thea, but she never controlled me. She would never manipulate me and have wrapped around her finger like she did with everyone else."

"That's what she wanted you to think," Grayson's voice is too soft for the daggers Liz is glaring at him with.

"Stop," she doesn't know what else to say. "Stop it. I'm not weak like you are Grayson."

"Goddamnit, Liz," Grayson is annoyed. "I thought you wanted to talk. I thought after this long of faking it between us, we could finally be real with each other."

"It's just not fair," Liz doesn't know what to say. "It's not fair that I did everything wrong and messed up so much just for her to be the one to die." It should have been me.

"She was no saint," Grayson dismisses her unspoken words.

"I don't want to talk anymore."

a/n:
imperfect main characters or just annoying 🙆‍♀️ - the archer - tayluh