What if

1

    TW: Mention of SA and abuse 

"No,no,no" I begged " please, dad, please". He continued strutting towards me with a piece of the porcelain plate I accidentally broke. There was no where to run. I had cornered myself trying to get away from him.

 I knew it wasn't all his fault. I was the one to break a plate when I knew he was drunk. Not saying that was much of an excuse that he was drunk because I can't recall a recent memory where he wasn't drunk. 

So I sat there as he cut and beat me. I tried not to make a noise because I knew it would make him more angry but it hurt like a B word. I would let him beat me everyday if I meant he didn't touch me again. 

It's kind of funny, I can remember stupid stuff from when it happened the first time but other stuff not at all. Like I can tell you that he walked into my room at exactly 5:27pm and it felt like an eternity by the time he walked over to my bed. 

He grabbed me and for the first time in forever, I fought my father with everything in me but he managed to take my clothes off and hurt me. In a different way this time. I remember how much it not only hurt physically but I don't think I've been hurt so much emotionally. 

The next morning he acted like nothing happened. I had no one to tell what happened so I just didn't say anything. I felt like he had stolen innocence. That was the first time of many times he did things to me. Eventually I stopped fighting. It never worked. I would just close my eyes and go numb. I did that a lot now. Even when Dad wasn't doing things to me. Maybe it helped with how sucky my life is. Which I feel bad for thinking because I have a bed , food most of the time, and a roof over my head. 

I looked around at the puddle of my own blood realizing he stopped hitting me and was standing over me. No. He's going to do it again. 

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I looked over at the clock on my phone that was laying next to me on the floor. My pink phone case had blood on it. In internally laugh at myself looking at the time. Midnight exactly. It's my 18th birthday. What a celebration. 

I should probably just up. I sit up and instantly feel light headed. I must have lost quite a bit of blood. I turned my phone camera on and I look horrid. My dark brown hair is soaked in my own blood and my face which used to be more tan and fuller looks pale and tired. All of that and I'm most pissed that he messed up my new Disney footie pajamas. They were so cute before he ruined them.

Oh well at least I'm an adult now, not that it changes anything but still. I could get a tattoo if I wanted, not that I would do that. Needles scare the absolute crap out of me. I don't know why. It seems like a silly thing to be afraid of now. 

Out of the corner of my eye I see my dad. He is standing down the hallway near the kitchen just staring at a giant butcher knife which I just want to say is creepy as hell. Also like he can feel my staring he looks at me and gives me an evil smirk and starts to walk toward me. 

Oh crap. That's not good. Before I could even think I grabbed my phone and literally JUMPED OUT MY WINDOW. Like that is some bad ass stuff right there. I should like b lead ninja. Do ninjas still exist. Oh crap I kind of have to run now. My dad is currently running around at house coming at me with a knife, that was a mouth full. You know what else is a mouth full? This dic- oh right run. 

I take off and start running on the sidewalk for like 15 seconds with my dad hot on my tail. " Dad? Why are you trying to kill me again?" I yell while running. He doesn't answer but apparently that pissed him off because he started to run even faster. 

I stepped on a Little Rock and Damn that hurt. I can't did right now. I'm wearing Disney footie pajamas. Would be me to die like this. This footie pajamas don't protect my feet at all just saying and it's not helping that I'm already bleeding through it near my stomach. 

Funny enough, I can't feel it. Like at all. How long does he expect me to run like this. I'm getting tired. I turn my head to look back at Dad who is still very much on my tail and suddenly I'm knocked to the ground by what feels like an actual brick wall. Ouch. I look up to see a boy, more like a man because he is probably the hottest person I've ever seen, holding the leash of a very big cream colored dog who was barking loudly in the direction of my dad. 

He grabbed me and pulled me behind him shielding me from my dad who seeing him turned around and ran away. Take that scaredy cat. I held up my hand to give him the L before realizing I was holding up the wrong hand. He turned around with his eyebrow raised at me curiously and before he could even say anything my vision became blurred and I fell.

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Hi loves!!!! Thanks for reading. Sorry if the writing is all over the place at first it will get better as the book continues. Feel free to leave any tips or predictions of what's gonna happen!!!