Idea of Happiness

1.

The smell of sweat and alcohol filled my nostrils and the deafening music fueled my adrenaline. I could feel a minimum of five bodies pressed up against mine on the dance floor, everyone's body heat making it that much more suffocating and I loved it.

This was my favorite way to lose myself. Going to parties where I don't know a single person, except when I convince my best friend, Jeremy, to come with me, and drown myself in the loud music and strangers. I don't have to think or be careful of who I could run into because no one here knows who I am.

This was one of the rare parties that I managed to convince Jeremy to come with me, and I lost him over an hour ago. If he was anyone else I wouldn't feel even an ounce of guilt, but I peel myself off of the strangers and push my way through the crowd to find him.

After ten minutes of searching, I find him against the wall with two other guys I have never seen before. Jer has always been good at meeting new people, so I feel a little less guilty knowing he hasn't been stranded alone this whole time.

I make my way over to him trying not to wince at the blisters probably forming on the back of my ankles due to the heels I am wearing. When I reach his side, he throws an arm over my shoulder and continues on with his conversation for a moment before one of the guys with him decides to introduce himself.

"I'm Aaron, and who are you?" The guy says confidently.

"I'm not interested," I say monotonously.

Jeremy rolls his eyes and squeezes my shoulder before correcting me, "Actually, she's Logan. You'll have to excuse her rudeness."

Now its my turn to roll my eyes. I look around the room, acting uninterested in their conversation as they continue to talk about me as if I'm not standing right here.

"This your girl?" The guy I haven't learned the name of asks Jeremy.

"Nah man, just a friend. Best friend actually," he responds.

"I could never be just friends with a girl that hot," Aaron says. Jeremy snorts at this.

"She's not that hot," He says and I elbow him in the ribs. We both laugh and he excuses us and we make our way towards the door.

The cool air feels like a brick wall at first as we begin our walk past all the buildings and busy streets of New York towards where we parked. He throws his arm back over my shoulder and we walk silently for a minute before he starts his inquisition just like he does after every party I attend.

"Did you drink?"

"Jer you know me better than that. I don't drink." I say, exasperatedly. He knows I don't drink. Ever. I don't know why he still asks.

He takes a step back and throws his hands up in defense, "Okay, okay. Just making sure. You know I'm just looking out for you. You party so much I just feel like one day you will give in. If I don't come with you, you usually don't even bother coming home. I still don't know where you end up. It just makes me worry, Lo."

"I know," I sigh and lean back into his side. He has been protective of me since we became friends but he doesn't need to worry about me.

When we reach my car, I climb into the drivers side and head back to our apartment building. Jeremy lives on the same floor as my mom and I. Both of our families are on the wealthy side. In our building there are four apartments on each floor and we all have designated spots to park in so we don't have to worry about the hassle of New York parking.

We share our floor with an elderly couple and a vacant apartment. Another kid from our school used to live there but he was quiet and we never really met.

I walk into the house expecting my mom to be sitting on the couch with her laptop open and Bluetooth glued to her ear, but I was welcomed with an even more unpleasant surprise.

"I can't believe you Logan. I thought you would learn from your fathers mistakes but you are just like him. You're stupid if you don't think I know exactly what you've been up to every weekend. I have done everything I possibly can for you and all you do for me is go out partying and drinking and doing who knows what with who knows who. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this!"

I don't know what to say, but I know I don't care to argue, so I just keep walking down the hall to my room. She doesn't stop me but after I close my door I hear her yelling again.

"This conversation isn't over young lady!"

I'm not sure what happened today to make her want to act like a parent, but I know it won't last. She has been married to her job for as long as I can remember. Even when her and my dad were still together, she focused on her job so she wouldn't have to deal with him.

He left when I was ten, and eight years later nothing has changed between my mom and I. She works and I stay out of her way. That's just how it goes in our home.

We moved into this building a little over a year ago. Mom got a good deal on this apartment and its closer to her office. We didn't live far from here before, but it is far enough that I had to switch schools at the beginning of my junior year.

I met Jeremy the day we moved in. He offered to help me carry all of my boxes. Of course mom had hired someone to move all of our things, but I insisted on moving all of my stuff. I don't like the idea of having strangers touching my things, but Jeremy had this personality that made me feel like I had known him for years. Jer helped me move all of my stuff in and we became instant friends. We spent that whole night sharing stories while eating popcorn and watching reruns of Friends on Netflix.

That night is when he learned about how my alcoholic of a father spent more time at the bar or passed out on the couch than he did spending time with my mom and I and I learned that his parents are his best friends. Over the past year they have become like my second family too.

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I know it's short. I'm just trying to get some basic information in before I dive into the plot. Please comment and tell me what you think, good or bad. I need constructive criticism. Hope you like it! -Meg