Once Upon A Forever (Preview)

Chapter One

I had added Elizabeth to the long list of people I no longer wanted to talk to or think about. She'd hurt me in ways I never thought a sister would, or could. We were supposed to have an unbreakable bond. But, that had never happened. For as long as I could remember, Elizabeth had been my rival. Never truly being in my corner, and always afraid to stand by my side. She eviscerated me long before I cut her out of my life. Our only connection in life had been our blood.

Until we fell in love with the same guy.

I'd never truly forgiven Elizabeth. After all, I'd loved him first. But, the circumstances had been difficult on its own without the added pressure of us being sisters. And, I was so tired of fighting and hurting. There was only one thing I could do. I had to leave Ash Falls.

And then, I see Cooper Chamberlin, and my heart stops beating. I've loved him for as long as I could remember. I'm instantly thrown back to a time when he was my world. A time when I believed love would save me. But I was wrong. Love was venomous; an emotion I now kept at a distance.

He'd destroyed me. Shattered every ounce of faith I had, and left me with an inescapable pain. Back then, I was young, and naive, a nobody, and he was the epitome of the type of boys I was told to stay away from. He had been every teen girls dream, including mine. For a long time, he was all I wanted, all I desired.

Now, I couldn't stand to look at him. My heart ached with the memory of him, us. Everything I ever wanted was wrapped up in a man I could no longer have.

I couldn't forget what he had done to me and how deep he damaged me.

***

Cooper

Present Day

Everyone has that defining moment in their life. The one that changes everything. The life I had, before I met her, was the life I thought I always wanted. The life I'd planned for. But, I was young and so fucking scared. Scared of my parents. Scared of what my friends would say. Scared of me, and how I felt every time I was around her. She brought out something in me. Something I never knew was there. Something I didn't know I wanted and needed in my life. And I will always love her for that. For being real. But mostly, for loving me.

If I could go back in time, I would. Even if it meant I'd also lose all of the good times. She deserved better. She always had.

I never truly deserved her, and deep down, I always knew it. But, what's done is done. I can't go back and change it. I can't make her love me again, the way she used to.

All I can do is hope and wait. Wait for my girl to come back to me, to love me again.

Hurting her has been my one regret. She was my heart, my only reason to breathe. The only moments in my life where I truly lived was when I was with her. Being without her has left me empty, created an abyss of darkness that I've tried to fill with all the wrong things; girls, alcohol, you name it, I did it. All to try and forget her face, the sweetness of her kisses, the softness of her skin.

I'd heard she had moved on, found a life without me. And, found enough courage to go after her dreams. She'd done everything she set out to do, without me. While I stayed behind, in the clutches of a life I never truly wanted. I wanted her with me, but I was happy she had found some form of happiness. Even if it was without me. After everything she'd been through, happiness was the least she deserved.

And then, Jesse told me she was back in town. I didn't believe him. I pictured the young, fragile girl who captivated me so easily. I expected to see the same girl I remembered, the girl I fell in love with.

I sat in my car, thinking of the right thing to say. Thinking about how I knew the moment I lay eyes on her again, I'd want to claim her for myself. Like before. And, though I was the last person she wanted to see or talk to, I had to come. I had to see her.

Emma had given me hope. She had loved me in a way I'd never truly deserved. And, I took her faith and love and smashed it. That's why I'd been sitting in my car for the last thirty minutes. I was scared. Scared of coming face to face with the one girl I'd always loved. The same girl who couldn't bear to talk or see me anymore.

When I finally had the guts to enter the wake, I almost didn't recognize her. Her once long hair was now a bob, barely touching her shoulders. Although I didn't like it. There was no denying how beautiful she was. That was the thing about her that had first caught my attention. Without even trying, she was beautiful.

And yet, this girl wasn't the same girl I'd known four years ago. This girl was empty, lost, and I didn't think anyone noticed except for me.

When she smiled at the guests, thanking them for their condolences, there was something missing behind her eyes. My heart ached to run to her. I had to fight with myself to keep my distance. All I want is my girl back. The girl I fell in love with. I want to comfort her, tell her everything will be OK, I'm sorry, and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her.

That's all I ever wanted.

For my girl to love me again.

The need to hold her in my arms was so fucking strong. But her eyes told me she didn't want me. Not anymore. I hadn't realized how badly she hated me until that very moment when she walked right past me and slipped out of the funeral home as if I didn't exist. The stiff way she kept her focus away from me told me she was fighting against the urge to look at me. Once, she would have broken into the biggest, most beautiful smile and run into my arms. But that was a long time ago. I had broken that. Broken her, and I knew I'd fight the rest of my life to get her back.

"She still won't talk to you, huh?" Ariel shifted the weight of her baby in her arms and looked at me with arousing pity.

"Nope." I reached over to her baby, and playfully touching his arm. I always knew Ariel's kids would turn out beautiful, but once I'd seen the baby for myself, I was in awe. It was like looking into the face of an angel.

"Are you going to the repast?" she asked.

"I didn't know. It's up to Lizzie."

"Why didn't you come back with us. Jesse's gone out and bought all this food for the bbq. For the game. You know how he is with sports. It'll help take your mind off things."

Nothing would help take my mind off Emma. Every day for the past four years I've had to look my past in the face, without being able to move on. If only I could go back in time. Just one day. It would change everything. And I would have my girl back. But life didn't work that way. Going to a barbecue at Jesse's was better than going back to my house where I was reminded, on a daily basis, of what I'd done.

"I'll ask Lizzy." I make googly eyes at the baby one last time before making my way over to Lizzy, who's in-between hugging the pastor. Her face is red from crying, and my heart aches for her suffering. She's been through so much. I couldn't bear being the cause of any more pain. That's why I was there, with her. I'd promised to look after her, forever. I knew how deep it could hurt someone to have to break a promise like that. I've done it once before. So, even when my heart wasn't completely in it, I stayed. But, not anymore. Now that Emma was back, I was done with trying to please everyone else. Everything I had done for the last four years had little to nothing to do with what I wanted. No more.

I was finally going to put myself first.

"I'm ready to go," Lizzy said, wiping her eyes.

"We didn't have to go to the repast. If you didn't want." I hoped she'd changed her mind about not going. I wanted to see Emma. I needed to see my girl.

"All those people. I didn't know if I can handle anymore, you know," she said softly.

"It's up to you."

Lizzy shrugged. "I guess I should go," she whispered, and then, "Since, Emma's back." She looked up at me as if sizing me up. I know she was trying to get a response from me. But I wasn't playing that game. Not today. I've had to deal with enough from her and everyone else in town.

Things were about to change.