metalocalypse oneshots

Dethstore

Your stomach rumbled quietly as you looked through the refrigerator in search of something to eat. Usually, you wouldn't have this problem but since Charles went on vacation nobody has been to the grocery store in a while. You'd thought about sending some of the Klokateers to do the shopping but decided not to bother them since they have enough work already.

Sighing, you closed the refrigerator and accepted defeat. You made your way to the living room to inform the boys that you were going to the grocery store but as soon as you were about to speak, you had a swarm of different thoughts about what could go wrong.

Quickly you thought of an idea, why not take them with you? Agreeing that was the best decision you cleared your throat and caught their attention.

"As you all know, Charles is out of town handling some important business, therefore, I have been placed in charge of you guys till he comes back." you started.

You heard a scoff come from Murderface with crossed arms. "Why dichd he leave you in ccharge? We're ccompletely ccapable of taking ccare of ourschelves!" he said.

Something inside of you wanted to tell him to go fuck himself but instead you kept your cool and remained professional. "Um..anyways, it is my job to ensure that you all are kept satisfied and happy while he is gone. As you may have noticed, you all have run out of food in less than three days.." you said meeting the eyes of everyone on the sofa.

"Are you calling us fat?" Nathan accused, you sighed pinching your nose bridge.

"Yeea it sounds like yer callin' us faht" Pickles followed.

"Ja, thems ams totallys callin us fats" Skwigaar added. You remained silent, contemplating if they were in their right minds.

"Ifs anyones is ams fats it ams Moidaface" Toki said, you couldn't tell if he was on your side or theirs but regardless he was right.

"Fucck you Toki!" Murderface yelled

You quickly interrupted to prevent any further arguments, "Uh, I've decided to take it upon myself to go to the grocery store but the special part is you all get to come with me." you said.

"Wow, you ams takings us ons a fields trips?" Toki questioned, "Yes Toki, I'm taking you all on a filed trip" you say in a monotone voice.

You waited for the boys to get themselves together while you made a grocery list. It wasn't anything too specific that they needed just their regular amounts of junk food and booze.

You decided it would be best if they stayed closer to you, preventing any mishaps from transpiring.

"Wow..this foods library has everythings we need, right Y/N?" Toki questioned

Slightly confused you just nodded your head and continued down the isle.

"Hey looks, it ams those chocolate things Y/N eats. Ams you gonna get some?" Skwisgaar pointed out.

He pointed at your favorite candy. You thought it was sweet that he thought of you when he saw the candies.

"No Skwisgaar, I don't really have a taste for those right now." You replied continuing down the isle.

"Dood. We ghatta get some booze." Pickles said eyeing the shelves around him.

"I am aware that you require the alcoholic beverages Pickle, we're gonna get that next just stay patient please." You said, you were really trying to keep it together but it was hard.

The boys acted like fat kids in a candy store, you were constantly telling them to put something down or leave something alone. When you would say it was okay to get something someone always proposed an argument so now you'd have to get what they wanted too.

Finally you'd gotten everything you needed, everyone was satisfied and pleased except you. You hadn't been able to get a single thing you'd wanted because you were so focused on grown men who couldn't be unsupervised for more than three seconds.

You loved your job and you loved Dethklok but sometimes it felt like they were more of your kids vs your clients.

After returning home, you decided to change out of whatever bullshit clothes you'd decided to throw on and put on something more comfortable.

Finally you could enjoy a nice meal and feel satisfied with what you'd done for the day.

You kept an ear out for the boys while they did whatever they felt like doing while you enjoyed your meal.

As time went on they slowly started to join you at the table grabbing whatever it was that they wanted to eat. Of course they brought their chaos with them but you didn't mind.

There you sat with your 'children' as you called them, enjoying whatever it was they were eating. Slowly but surely they were warming up to you.