In my head

You found someone I can't compete

Spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 1–Post Chroma Conclave

"I should've told you...it's yours."

Pike's breath hitched when she heard Vex mumble that before kissing Percy's corpse. She wasn't that loud, but Pike heard her loud and clear. How could she not? She was practically right above the half-elf.

It was selfish, Pike knew that. After all, she knew that Vex was much closer to Percy than Pike ever was. And she gathered that something happened while they were in the Feywild, based on how Vex was talking, and the fact that she was suddenly titled when they came back.

She rejected Scanlan's proposal for many reasons, and most of them were logical. But if she was telling the truth, deep down she knew she was lying when she told him that she loved someone else. For what she felt towards Percy couldn't be love—not completely.

Love takes many forms. She loves Grog—he's her best friend, and they would die for each other. She loves all her teammates—they're her friends, and she trusts them all with her entire being. But romantic love is something else entirely, and she knew that. But she didn't think she had ever really experienced it—and even now, she thinks she never has.

Percy is a lot of things. He's handsome, yes, but he's highly intelligent. He's one of the strongest members in their party, and one of their smartest as well. He has been a force to be reckoned with, and has been since he joined their group. And Pike admired him for that—and at some point, that admiration grew into something that almost resembled a crush.

And that's all it was, a crush. But stupidly, she had convinced herself that she was in love with Percy. And some part of herself was convinced that he felt the same way.

But she was wrong. Oh so wrong.

She knew that when the two revealed that they were married. She should've expected it, really. The two were very similar, and, quite frankly, it was only a matter of time before they got together. The two understood each other on a level that even their own siblings didn't understand. They were inevitable, and Pike should've expected that.

So why is it that when they announced that they had eloped in secret, Pike's heart shattered in a million pieces? It was a stupid crush, she knew that. He didn't feel the same way—he never did. He thought of her as a friend at most, but never considered being in a relationship with her.

And that was fine, Pike told herself. She knew why he loved Vex. For he truly did love Vex. And deep down, Pike knew that he had loved Vex since the Chroma Conclave took over most of Exandria. And part of her is sure that he even loved the half-elf before then, too.

But regardless, she stood there at their wedding, cheering them on as her heart shattered.

She knew that she wouldn't be alone. After all, she had Grog—even though she knew that he, too, would eventually leave her, though not if his own fruition. And Scanlan was an incessant pest—however, he was as charming as he was annoying, and they have grown to become good friends (and even if Pike wasn't too fond of Scanlan, she knew that Grog and Scanlan were really close, and she wouldn't dare part Grog with one of his good friends unless she had a good reason to).

Pike knew that, one day, her heart would become whole again. And that, one day, she will learn to experience true love, and experience the same type of relationship as Vex and Percy. But, for today, as she watched her friends share a kiss, proving to the whole world that Lord Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III and Lady Vex'ahlia Vessar-de Rolo were married, she will cry, and ignore how her heart was aching for a love that was never was, and would never be.

~<•>~

670 words

This took me an hour to write at midnight through 1am in my sleep deprived stupor.

Why is it that some of my best oneshots are written when I'm barely awake enough to stand?

Anyway, this is the first oneshot I've ever completed for Critical Role! I would post it on ao3, but I don't have my computer on me, and ao3 is almost impossible to do anything on with mobile. So Wattpad it is!

For anyone who doesn't understand, in a QnA, Pike's voice actor—Ashley Johnson—confirms that the person Pike was in love with was Percy. And Percy's voice actor—Taliesin Jaffe—notes that Percy was completely oblivious to Pike's feelings.

And so, I took that and RAN with it. And produced this short angsty oneshot! Yay!