Amans Iratus Multa Mentitur

Clara has noticed it for a long while now. The Doctor recognised that too but remained in a hopeful silence that she wouldn't act upon this recently discovered weakness of his. He was ticklish. Not the regular giggle type ticklish, but the uncontrollable cackler with the arm flailing type. It was one of his disadvantages of not being a hugger. Close contact caused him to panic, so he had no chance when it came to the unrelentless attack of tickling.

***

It was discovered one day in the TARDIS. Just a regular day for the travelling pair. He was fixed in his usual spot, staring at the TARDIS' screen while Clara lounged about on one of his chairs. She enjoys sitting there, a book in her hands, slowly rolling about while the Doctor did repairs or searched for a new destination. This incarnation seemed to take longer to find somewhere. It wasn't because he was running out of places, he practically had all of time and space left to discover. There were an uncountable number of stars out there (well for a humans anyway), shining and dimming, that called the Doctor to be seen and discovered. All those stars with all their planets, moons, and asteroids, orbiting around it, each with their own story, their own history.

He could have just as easily have let the TARDIS materialise in a random place. Let her take the wheel as his previous incarnation had done so often, but that wasn't the reason why he always stood staring at that screen. It was because he savoured those moments that he spent in the TARDIS with Clara. Just relaxing and, dare he say, bantering. She'd just sit there, wheeling about on her chair, chatting about nonsense while he stood there listening and occasionally firing back nonsense of his own. Because that's all it was to each other. Nonsense. Clara would tell him about school and the other dull aspects of her life, while he talked about the formation of a particular star as it was being devoured by a nearby black hole. Clara never understood his space and physics talk but she nodded happily, just to keep him talking. He liked that. It was far better than talking to himself.

It was an accident, how she found out. He was rambling about a void of space so thick that even photons slowed down, yet in the centre of it laid a galaxy where its inhabitants believed that they were alone in the universe. Then just as he suggested a visit to one of its planet to prove them otherwise, a gentle hand landed on his waist causing his to whelp and hop away from it. Clara raised a questioning eyebrow while the Doctor scolded her for suddenly coming up like that. Not long into his rant did her eyebrows fall back into their resting position and a wide smirk appeared on her face.

That's when he knew she knew.

***

So they visited that planet and many more since then. There was nothing more said about the incident and the Doctor began to fall into a false security that she had forgotten.

After an exhausting and somewhat pleasant trip, Clara and the Doctor found themselves sitting under a tree sharing a meal that he had bought from one of the region's markets. Their meal was delicious until it came to desert where the Doctor produced a foul smelling, purple, ice-like pudding.

"I think I'll pass." said Clara plugging her nose.

"It's not as bad as it looks." came the Doctor's reply as he served out the dessert He made sure that Clara got the bigger half, telling himself it was because she eats more than him and he didn't want to hear her complaints. He also knew he shouldn't by lying to himself. Either way he handed her the plate, holding it right in front of her face.

"It's stinks!" she gagged, pushing the meal away.

"Jus' try some." he insisted. The Doctor knew that Clara had a thing for chocolate but since cocoa beans didn't grow on this planet, this was the closest substitute he could find.

Clara sighed and gave in, knowing that the Time Lord was just as stubborn as she was. Using one hand to keep her nose plugged she scooped up a spoonful of the meal and held it close to her face. It looked like little lilac snowflakes all clumped together. She would have regarded it as beautiful if it didn't stink so badly. God knows what it'll do to her breath. To his breath! He wasn't coming near her until he brushed his teeth, or at least had a mint afterwards.

The Doctor ushered her on, growing impatient at her just gazing at the little spoonful.

"It doesn't bite. I checked." He scooped up some for himself and ate it straight away. "See?"

Clara wasn't even sure if it touched his tongue. Actually, she thought that was a good tactic. Scrunching up her eyes by a fraction she tasted the frozen dessert.

It tasted wonderful, like the bubbly inside of a Wispa bar straight from the fridge, but it melted so quickly that it soon tasted like melted chocolate.

"Oh wow." she exclaimed. It was the only accurate reply that she could think of that didn't outright say that the Doctor was right. She couldn't have that.

"Told yeah didn't I?" he teased, feeling proud that he picked the perfect meal.

"Right, right. You did. No need to gloat. You're head is big enough as it is."

The Doctor coughed for a moment, not expected a reply like that.

"At least I don't need three mirrors!" he shot back, confident that she couldn't top that.

Clara rolled her eyes. He was never going to let that go. Then a devious plan steuck her. With a devilish smirk appearing in her face, that caused the Time Lord to raise his confused and cautious brows, she lowered her dish and took his from his hands.

"I was eating tha' ye'h know!"

"I know, and I don't care." she responded, her smirk only growing wider and she scooted closer to him.

The Doctor pushed himself backwards and further into the tree as he wondered what the hell had gotten into her.

"What're ye'h doing?" His voice sounded panicked, which only matched the look on his face.

"You'll see." she said as she raised her index finger threateningly. The Doctor instantly copped onto her plot but it was too late as the second he called out to her, she launched her attack.

She had planned to use her two hands as weapons for her tickling assault but soon enough into her attack, one was needed to pin down the flailing Time Lord.

Clara began to cackle menacingly as she continued tickling him, interchanging from side to side and sometimes pausing on his tummy. Between uncontrolled and howling laughs the Doctor begged for her to stop, but Clara didn't seem to be stopping any time soon. The Doctor, in his confined state of laughing, tried to devise a method of escaping. After a few moments he decided to try the old 'offense is the best defense' method and began to mirror her actions onto her. Clara squeaked, realising that she was beginning to lose control of the situation until she finally succumbed and fell on top of him in a fit of giggles.

"That's cheating." she breathed with a hint of laughter still in her voice.

"All's fair in love and war." he mumbled, still trying to get his brain in working order.

Since he didn't complain, Clara didn't move. The Doctor told himself it was because he was too tired. He really ought to stop lying to himself.

***

The title means: an angry lover tells himself many lies.