- how could you hurt a little kid? I can't forget, I can't forgive you. Cause now I'm scared that everyone I love will leave me -
After Robyn's mother disappears she's sent into a spiral of confusion, anger, sadness and loneliness. Only now having...
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Robyn
A constant thought swirling around my brain. Did she ever stop and think about me? Before she left? After she left? Does she think about me now? Did she ever consider how this would impact me and how I'd feel about my own mother leaving me?
Probably not.
By around 4am I'd drifted off finally. The rain pattering against my window was comforting aswell as the quarter moon which reflected off of my window.
My sleep didn't last long as my phone started ringing first of all thinking it was my alarm for school which I usually slept through then remembering I no longer even had school making me quickly reach for it to turn the noise of incase it woke my dad which would set him off then he'd complain he had no sleep because he likes to dramatise everything and play victim aswell as be an asshole then to round it all up he'd probably use it against me and have something else to moan about or what else I've done wrong, how I've obviously failed miserable as a daughter at this age.
He was embarrassed of me that's for sure. He never spoke about me to anyone and sometimes his friends wouldn't even know I was his kid when they came round.
The only person who made me feel better and that I knew was always proud of me no matter what was mum. She'd boast about me to everyone and tell them what a great kid I was, and If I was there I'd normally blush and turn into her burying my face into her stomach to hide the tint on my cheeks and smile that instantly formed on my face. That was when I was younger. When life was much simpler.
Back to who was calling me. Lottie. This better be worth it.
I didn't want to pick up because it could be an absolute bullshit phone call or was she actually in trouble? If I didn't pick up now and something was really wrong then I'd never forgive myself.
"Hello...?" I spoke quietly into the phone, my voice a little raspy and hoarse from the dry feeling in my throat and the crying I may have done before I actually got any sleep.
I really needed water but I'm shit scared of going downstairs. It's creepy okay. Don't judge me. I don't do well with large pitch black rooms. Then again no one does.
If I go downstairs then I'll end up flying back up the stairs which will lead me to sounding like an elephant, tripping because of my clumsiness and then waking mum and dad up which I don't ever want to do.
Dad was a prissy princess and needed that 8 hours sleep otherwise he was just so sleep deprived. God forbid he actually worried about anyone but himself he'd crumble.
"Lottie? What do you want?" I asked after not hearing a response from my first 'hello'. "This better be good it's 4:30am in the morning and I've hardly even slept yet."
"first of all i had an epiphany which im sure youd want to know about because it involves you and two you dont even have school anymore so its not like you have to be up early. i haven't slept yet and i have school in 4 hours" Lottie rambled making me lowly groan, could she just get to the point already.
"you being up at 4:30 is not my fault and id rather be out then at home right now because I'm in so much shit already " my head tiredly and let out a breath "now tell me why the hell you called me now and why it couldnt wait until an actual decent time"
"alright alright grumpy" Lottie mumbled into the phone making me roll my eyes "so i was looking online and its weird how theres never been a mention of your bio mum actually having another kid, theres no photos, nothing on Wikipedia and no tabloids. Nothing. So either this is a big fat lie or she was just really good at covering her shit up."
"ok thats a point but your implying ive made this all up?" i replied a little defensively. I mean I get it could sound like a stretch to say I've just found out my mother is who she is and there's nothing to prove it right now but I don't think mum would lie to me about this stuff. Everything makes sense.
"When did she even leave you?" Lottie asked
"I don't know Lottie. I haven't actually had the time or confidence to ask anymore. Can we just drop it now" I didn't want to speak to her about it anymore. She was getting too involved which was maybe mt fault for telling her about it in the first place but the constant talk and questions were getting too much and the way she went on about it just sounded a little insensitive and certainly felt that way. "I'll speak to you tomorrow im tired"
I let out a huff and quickly ended the call making no room for her to argue and make me stay on the phone. I soon turned DND on, reaching across for my AirPods putting some Taylor swift on, Dorothea to be specific and then finally flopping back down on my bed.
Can life just go smoothly for once?
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Just a filler chapter but it's needed for the plot :) I hope your all enjoying this - updates will be slower for a week or so as I'm on holiday x
