darling | alice in borderland

chapter 21

mira kano... psychiatrist? there's no way... it's not true...no way is that true...

but...it felt so real...as you blinked, slowly the room seemed to change, you looked down at yourself... seeing a white outfit you certainly weren't wearing before

and in front of you, sat your doctor, a pill bottle and a glass of water

you... remember now

it wasn't real, it was in your head the whole time... wasn't it?

"are you feeling alright, miss y/n?" mira said, a look of worry was evident on your doctor's face "are your memories gradually returning?"

you gulped slightly, feeling the urge to vomit, the memories... they're too much, what really happened that day...

mira's gaze turned to the door and she smiled slightly "they care about you, alot"

when you turned your head towards the door, you could make out a couple figures, your fellow patients, they all seemed...so blurry, like they weren't really there, except for one...

he stood at the front of the door, his hood pulled over his head, hiding his facial expressions, but you know exactly who he was when his blonde hair peeked out slightly from his hood

the blurry figures behind him...you couldn't make them out, they weren't as clear as your doctor and chishiya

"they're always worried about you"

chishiya looked directly into your eyes, his face was devoid of any emotion, except for worry, he was...truly worried

"can you tell me...what really happened, miss y/n? that day you went to pick up your roommate?"

that day... december 22nd of 2022, what happened?

you were on your couch in your apartment, a random kdrama playing on your television, when you got a text from your roommate

"I'm off work early, still no buses :p, can you pick me up? uber too expensive"

you replied back quickly, already grabbing your shoes and heading out the door

but halfway there to your friends workplace, in the middle of the road, there were three teenage boys running into the street, your eyes widened as you braked

but it was too late

you...killed three innocent teenagers

you shut your eyes tightly, trying to force the image out of your head

their blood over your car, their screams as you drove into them, the sounds of bones cracking...

"it was my fault...i should've...i should've paid attention, i, they..." you gulped

"you remember now?"

"i killed someone..." you whispered, your eyes blurred from your tears

"that little story you created in your head was to cope with your trauma, to ignore the reality of your life" mira said "it wasn't real, and you know it now, that world...you didn't want the answers to it, you wanted to know who you truly were, and why you exist"

from the corner of your eye, a blonde boy stared longfuly into the room, chishiya wasn't good with his emotions, it was the reason he was here...

but right now, all he wanted was you, he wanted to comfort you, to hold you, to do whatever with you

"you were neglected as a child, long before you came here, you wanted to know why, why didn't your parents give you attention? why were you ever born at all? did no one like you? this is why you created that fantasy inside your head, where you were loved, where people fought for your attention, in such a world where love wasn't the focus, but you needed it to be, you needed to feel that love"