How to Stay Afloat

~23: Where She Learns About His Past~

I inhaled sharply. A horrible feeling churned in the pit of my stomach. I didn't like how dark Archer's expression had become.

Archer's turbulent gaze turned to me.

"At first everyone called him a hero who got an innocent kid out of death row but a week after the trial had ended the unimaginable happened. Someone had reported a disturbance in their area and when the police went to investigate, they found Damien O'Malley bent over the bloody and beaten body of a poor thirteen-year-old girl. He was immediately arrested and confessed to all three of the murders on tape in exchange for a reduced sentence."

Archer took a shuddering breath.

"The news absolutely shattered Jordon. The thought that he'd put a murderer back on the street, that an innocent child had lost her life because he'd chosen to defend the wrong person absolutely crushed him. My brother changed after that, it was like the light just left his eyes, and he didn't laugh or smile anymore. As if that wasn't enough now there were people on social media calling him a murderer, telling him that he'd been the one responsible for that little girl's death, and sending him death threats... The press and the public were relentless too, they followed and harassed him endlessly. Our entire family was a target, wherever we went there were cameras flashing and people shoving microphones in our faces."

"Archer, that's awful," I whispered, tears prickling my eyes.

He sighed and ran his thumb over my cheek affectionately. "I wish I could tell you that things got better but they didn't. They got worse . . . so much worse."

"Soon after Damien's confession an investigation was carried out and it was discovered that the jury had been bribed in Damien's initial trial, the trial that Jordan had miraculously won. The payments were made anonymously and in cash, so it was never determined officially who the bribe was from, but people immediately blamed Jordan for it because in their eyes he was the one who'd benefited the most from winning such a high profile case. The hate he got only grew after that."

Archer's eyes shone with unshed tears. "He was so distraught Fallon, he was absolutely heartbroken," Archer whispered brokenly. "He called me the night the news came out and I remember him sobbing on the phone, begging me to believe him. He just wanted someone to believe him, to be on his side. I tried to reassure him. He just kept saying over and over again that he would never even think of bribing a juror and that if he could he would go back in time and undo it all so that little girl could survive." A tear escaped his eye and I brushed it away and kissed the underside of his jaw hoping to give him some comfort. My cheeks were wet with my own tears.

"A couple of months passed and things started to get better, people were finally moving on. I wasn't getting bullied in school for being related to Jordan any more people just chose to avoid me. I'd finally started to hope that there was a chance that things could go back to normal one day."

Archer paused, closed his eyes, and exhaled.

"I'd been in school when I got the call, I saw it on the news before I heard my mother say it."

A strangled sound left his lips. He was hurting so badly.

I could feel my heart break for him.

This beautiful, tortured boy.

I wished I could take away all of his pain and make it my own. I wished I could ease his burden a little.

But I couldn't.

"Jordan was a gentle soul. He saw the good in everything and everyone. That was the reason he took the case. His kindness was his downfall." Archer turned his head away, looking at the rain falling down through the window. "Two years ago on April the third, he stole my father's shotgun from his office desk, went back to his own apartment, and shot himself.

"Oh, Archer." A sob ripped out of me. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I'm so so sorry."

Suddenly it all made sense.

Why Archer hid behind his hoodies and baggy clothes.

Why he avoided people.

Why he'd been so scared when that man recognized him today.

He didn't want to go through what he'd gone through in New York again. He didn't want to be forced to relive the loss of the most precious person in his life.

"It was too much for him to face alone." His voice was distant and then suddenly his expression changed and he looked angry.

So angry.

"He shouldn't have been alone. I should have helped him. I should have been there for him. Maybe if I had he'd still be alive."

My hands cupped his jaw and I turned his head gently so he was looking at me.

"You can't take that burden, Archer. It's too big of a burden to carry." I told him firmly. "You lost everything because of what happened too. No matter how much we want to, we can't save everyone." I touched my forehead to his. "You saved yourself and sometimes that's all a person can do."

He closed his eyes, his tears were falling freely now.

"I miss him." He murmured. His arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me to him. His face nestled into the crook of my neck. "I miss him so much Fallon."

"I know," I whispered. My fingers tangled in his hair.

The sound of thunder and rain filled the background. Archer clung to me like he would drown if he let go. "Sometimes I feel like it's all too much for me. I feel like I'm drowning, barely managing to come up for air."

At that moment I knew that this boy had taken a piece of my heart without even realizing it. So I told him what someone had told me not so long ago, that had helped me when I felt like I was drowning.

I leaned back and looked into his beautiful tortured eyes,

"We're meant to float, not sink," I whispered.