Snow Ghost [Jaime Lannister]

Chapter XII. Tail: VI. The Queenslayer

"I can see the baby! Push! Gently! Gently!" I am exhausted and fall backwards just as the baby is born "There!"

I stop screaming once I see my baby crying. Tears fall from me and one of the midwives helps cut the umbilical cord.

she wraps the baby in a blanket "You have a beautiful baby son."

I stare at the baby with tears "Before you take him. Please, Can I hold him" She brings the baby over so I can hold him and I am amazed by the sight of my son "Hey" I move my finger at his cheek "I am Lyanna, your mother" I kiss his forehead "Your father would be happy if he was here"

I cry as Jaime did not know before his death I was with child "Your siblings will take care of you, I and your father loved you so much. I know you will not remember this day"

The midwife cries watching me.

I sniff with tears  "You are a Lannister, your father was Jaime Lannister and your mother was Lyanna Snow. I wish you could remember me"

The midwife wipes her tears "I have to take him"

I look at her with tears "Please, let him be with me a little bit"

Viserys walks in "Let him with her. you can go"

They left us alone. I look up at him and manage a small smile before kissing my son on the forehead "Hey, there is no fear."

Viserys sits at a chair with a small smile and I smile back "Do not look at me with this"

Viserys looks around "I do not want to do this"

I sniff "You executed Daemion for war crimes, and now it's my turn"

Viserys sighs "You know, I thought the day I became king would be the happiest day of my life, and now that I've sat on the throne, it's the worst day."

I put my hand on his cheek "You'll be a good king, you'll teach Rhaegar well and prepare him for his throne" with tears "I want to ask you for a request, please don't make them hate me, make them know that anything I've done is for them."

Viserys hugs me and cries "You and Jon are my remaining family, Lyanna. The rest are dead there are only the three of us left and the children, Rhaegar, Luke, Elianna, and Rhaenyra."

I pull back "Please don't cry" I smile "smile and take care of Myrcella and never make her sad, she is your wife now"

He smiles sadly "Don't worry about it, please let me exile you."

"I can not live without my children" I smile and wipe my tears "I'm going to see Jamie and Daeron and everyone I loved, I am going to see them maybe that time, I will know my mother and I should have died long ago"

I look up at the high window, and I think about the enormity of all that has happened and my role in it. I have no plans, no wants, no desire to effect change or avoid suffering.

I failed. I'm finished.

Viserys trying to cheer me up "What are you going to name him?"

I look at him "James after his father"

》》》》 《《《《

After days, I look ragged. I haven't slept, haven't eaten, and look like a woman who doesn't care whether she lives or dies. Tyrion has been explaining the outcome of the kingsmoot to me, who barely seems to listen "Giving you to the Unsullied for execution would start a war. Letting you walk free would start a war" Tyrion waits but I don't look at him "The Unsullied wanted your head, of course. But Grey Worm has accepted the justice of a life sentence" beat "Sansa, Robb and Arya wanted you freed, but they understand our king has to make peace" beat "No one's very happy. Which means it's a good compromise, I suppose."