Forest

Chapter Ten

"What's got Atlas in a good mood today?" I ask as I buckle in my seat belt, smiling widely at him. I just can't seem to wipe it off my face no matter how hard I try whenever I'm around him, especially when he's looking this good. He's wearing a tight, black shirt that draws every bit of attention you have to his tattoos. His hair is perfectly slicked back, styled to perfection so that one curl drapes onto his forehead. The Cheshire Cat grin he's sporting makes him look mischievous and playful. I cannot stop staring at him.

"I don't know." He says casually, calmly. As if his heart isn't about to beat out of his chest like mine is. "Maybe it's because I get to see you." He flashes the grin towards me for a split second, before returning his eyes to the road and pulling out of the schools parking lot.

How is he going to look this good, say things like that, and not be affected by it one bit? It's not fair, not fair at all. How could he just drop a bomb like that, a bomb that makes my breathing stop and my heart pound impossibly harder, and smiling while doing so? The smug, beautiful bastard. I try with every muscle in my body to push down the blush that wants to spread throughout my face, and fail miserably. This is so embarrassing. I am a grown ass man, blushing when another grown ass man says he's happy to see me. I must be going crazy.

"Maybe if you actually went to school, you would see me more often." I tell him, trying to play it cool. Which I must really suck at, because he laughs.

"You know, if we're ever going to make it to your house, you might want to start giving me directions." His sly smile never leaves. It's as if he knows the affect he has on me, and he's using it to his advantage. I don't miss the way he avoids the topic of not showing up to school.

"Oh, um, turn right at this stop sign and just go straight for a while." I mumble slightly. Mumbling, blushing; both things my parents would scold me for. Every time I'm around Atlas, I seem to be doing something my parents would hate. It's almost freeing. Maybe that's why I like being around him so much.

"I couldn't get out of bed." He says.

My head snaps towards him, confusion taking over all my senses. I think I'm going to get whiplash from how fast his emotions change. His smile is long gone. His eyebrows are scrunched, and his lips are pulled into a frown. His face is so serious now, calculated. I know how that feels. "What?" I ask, praying he will elaborate, making this the first time I've gotten him to open up to me. I've opened up to him plenty, it's only fair he does the same.

"I haven't been coming to school because I physically..." He trails off, taking a big breath of air, like he's preparing himself for what he's about to admit. Or maybe my reaction. "I physically couldn't pull myself out of bed." He finishes.

"Why? Were you hurt? Are you okay?" I ask way too quickly, concern taking over my confusion.

"No. I'm not hurt. Not physically, at least." His answers are so vague, I'm having a hard time understanding him. I'm going to need him to stop answering in riddles, or this is going to be a very long car ride. "Sometimes, I get in these moods where I feel that if I get out of bed, I won't be making it back there. Like the energy has been sucked out of me, no matter how much I rest. The life and happiness I had the day before, gone. It feels like it never existed, and like I'll never feel that happiness ever again. I have no motivation to do normal functioning things, like go to school or even eat." I'm silent as he spills his guts, letting him vent to me not only because I think he deserves it but also because I'm curious.

"Atlas, I'm so sorry." I'm not sure what to say or how to comfort him. Clearly, I don't have a good representation of that in my home. Plus, he's been so good at making me feel better, I want to do the same for him. "No one should ever have to go through what you're going through. That makes you strong, you know that, right? You're so strong for making it through, and I need you to keep pushing. You told me that I can always talk to you, and I want you to know that I'm always here for you too."