take two

on a loop

the ravenette is so joyous that he pays no attention to the world around him, not having any idea where they are until they're already pulling up outside dreams.

"i was dreading coming out," sapnap confesses as karl stops the car, pulling his seatbelt off. "they'd been at it all morning and i felt like i was holding back the urge to throw up but now i'm so excited."

"you have no idea how happy your happiness makes me," karl replies, the light in his eyes supporting his words as they smile at one another over the centre console.

sapnap wants, so badly, to lean across and kiss his boyfriend (that feels unreal to be able to think again) but he's very aware of the three boys just a few feet away from the car waiting for them, so he settles for the brief thigh squeeze that karl offers him before they both turn to exit the car.

"hi!" karl calls to the rest of the group, earning similar greetings in response as they walk over.

"hey guys," dream says, "is it okay with you two if my new friend joins us?" he asks. sapnap assumes, because dream is only asking them, that punz and foolish have already agreed.

"yeah, of course," karl answers, sapnap nodding happily along. "is this the friend you keep texting?"

dream nods as they begin to walk, and sapnap would swear that the blonde's smile looks almost fond.

he can hardly focus on that though, as his mind automatically falls back to dreams of movie nights or eating dinner with just one parent and knowing it won't end with him being dismissed so he doesn't hear an argument that he is definitely going to hear anyway because the walls are thin. he imagines future birthdays and christmases where he doesn't dread opening presents in front of them because he can't ignore the sly glances they exchange, sure that their gift was better.

he thinks about inviting his friends around his house and not having to make excuses anymore since he won't have to worry about the chance of them screaming at each other when everyone could hear.

the fact that he never had to tell his friends is so much better. karl knows all about their arguments- he's heard so many and he's cuddled sapnap to sleep through a few of them while the ravenette cried brokenly. dream knows a bit too, because of course the blonde had to come over when they were dating, but sapnap generally tried to hold back from opening up about how bad it really got to him- he always found it harder to be vulnerable with dream (or, with anyone that wasn't karl).

he thinks that punz and foolish probably know something is going on at home, because sometimes it's hard to act perfectly okay when you're realistically scared to enter your own house, but they know no details, and now they will never need to.

he'll just say they're divorcing on mutual terms and staying friends and that will be the end of it, and his whole life will be infinitely better.

sapnap is aware that he hasn't spoken the whole walk up the fields, but he has nodded and hummed occasionally and he thinks that the permanent smile on his features is enough for his friends to know that he isn't feeling upset or anything so it's fine.

the first time he almost speaks is when he sees someone sitting on the bench that they were planning to eat at, since it was where they always set up, but he stops when dream speaks first.

"that's george," he says, sounding suspiciously excited. then, as if it wasn't blatantly obvious, he adds, "he's the friend i've been talking about."