*ping*
Evan Villanueva messaged you
Evan: nigguh
I stared at the monitor first.. Nag- chat kase si kuya, what to answer? Hi? Or yes nigguh? But I wanted to look cool, of course.
You: yass?
I scrolled at my feed while waiting for his reply. Kase alangan naman I will leave the chatbox open, edi magmumukha akong hayok sa ka chat nun hindi ba? So ayun nga while I am scrolling may nakita akong di kanais nais. Tanggap ko naman na it's over between us na. But wait, there was never an us nga pala. Just because I am fuming, I opened Evan and I's chatbox and typed
You: YUNG HINAYUPAK NAGPOST NG PICTURE ANG KAPAL NG MUKHA JUSKO PANGITI NGITI PA MANLOLOKO NAMAN. ETO PA MALALA KASAMA YUNG GIRL AND OF COURSE ANDUN AKO. AT ALAM MO KUNG ANO ANG CAPTION? 'HAPPINESS ♥'
Syempre sinong hindi magtataka don? Like. It's done between us. Alam ng lahat yon. Ultimo leader namin sa church e, nakakaramdam na wala na talaga. Na it's all over between us. And I know, nakaka- shock yung pinagsasabi ko but, ganun lang talaga ako, whenever si Evan ang ka-chat ko, iba kase kapag comfortable ka sa isang tao.
Evan: Wala, I missed you lang.
Evan: Bat ba ang bilis mong magreply?
Evan: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Ang kapal naman niya.
I missed you daw. Napangiti ako ng bahagya. Summer break kase, and you know whats unbelievable? Hindi talaga kami close ni Evan nung first sem. This January lang kame naging close and ang simple lang. And happy of course because we have this 'brother-sister-from-different-parent-relationship'.
You: PUTA ANG KAPAL TALAGA LIKE KUYA, HINDI MAN LANG NAHIYA WALA PANG 1 MONTH AND KABARKADA KO PA.
Evan: Baka hindi naman ikaw ang target niya, in the first place.
I was stunned for a second. Aray ah. Sana dinahan dahan naman niya pagsabe saken non.
What if that happened. What if, umpisa pa lang hindi talaga ako? What if he used me para lang makalapit kay Sara? What if talaga hindi nita ko minahal sa loob ng 3 years and 5 months relationship namen? What if niloko niya lang ako all this time? What if yung promises niya ay puro bullshitness lang talaga?
Evan: hey
Evan: it was just a joke okay?
At marami pang messages dahil sobrang pre occupied ako sa sinabi niya and sa mga what ifs na naiisip ko. And napansin ko na lang na I'm crying, bullshit. Yes, I am crying. What the fuck. Hindi ako mahina, dahil lang sa pesteng lalake umiiyak ako?
Evan calling..
I answered the call.
"H-hello" I said. I stammered, because I am crying, because of that stupid guy. Bakit ko nga ba siya iniiyakan? Oo nga pala, because of this what ifs na kanina ko pa naiisip.
"Shit" bulong ni Evan sa kabilang linya.
Di ko na pinansin kase, sanay naman kame sa mga cuss ng isa't isa so why bother. I just kept on crying and crying, this is stupid, I am crying. Wait, I easily cried na parang isang kalabit lang yung ginawa ni Evan saken. Umiyak ako the day we broke up, pero wala na. Ngayon na lang ulet.
"Don't move, papunta na ko, okay?" He said, before he hung up.
I put my phone beside my laptop and then stared at my laptop screen nakatitig lang ako sa picture na pinost niya.
You know. We used to be perfect. We are used to be called a perfect couple. Kase, we are on the same age, pero mas mature pa siya saken. And it is cute daw, sabi nila. Mas matangkad siya saken, pero hindi yung mukhang anak na niya ko, perfect lang for cuddling, we share the same interests din. Pero pagdating lang sa music, because I sing and play guitar and he, plays guitar and drums and all. Sa sports naman I like watching more than playing. Sa studies naman, kapag hindi niya alam he will ask me. Kapag naman hindi ko alam he will help me. Maingay ako siya medyo lang.
Perfect couple nga kase, and then, it just happened na wala na. I can still remember the exact words he said nung nagbreak kame.
"I fell out of love, biglaan na lang nawala, I am so sorry"
"Tss, sorry my ass" I murmured. And a tear came out from my eyes, followed by another one. And another. Hindi na tumigil yung luha ko, nakakainis kase, parang yung 3 years na pinuhunan ko, isang buwan lang e may kapalit na. Bullshit lang e, parang napakadali lang para sa kanya itapon lahat ng mga pinagsamahan namin?
Pero, baka tama naman si Evan, but still, diba kung in the first place hindi ako? Bakit kami tumagal ng ganon?
Bigla na lang bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto ko at iniluwa non si Evan. He saw me crying kaya niyakap niya agad ako. We stayed just like that for God knows how long. It just felt comfortable, parang after a long wait I am finally home.
"Tigilan mo na nga yan, may pasok na tayo bukas e, tapos iiyak ka jan, okay lang ba sayo na makita ka ng classmates naten na pugto ang mata first day na first day?" He said na parang tatay ko lang kung magpagalit sakin.
Umiling ako at mas lalo pang sumiksik sa chest niya, he just sighed at hinayaan akong umiyak pa. Ang bango talaga ni Evan. Aakalain mo bang magiging close kami ng ganto sa loob lang ng 5 months? Maybe it's destined, na maging best friends kame. Kase he's been there whenever I needs him, vise versa lang.
I just closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I just can't take it, kung hahayan ko lang sa loob ko to. I have to start something new tomorrow, I hugged Evan tightly and let myself drown sa sarili kong tears,
"It's okay baby, andito lang ako stop crying na" he whispered as he hummed a lullaby, and then with just that I fell a sleep.
~~
So how was it? Omg, hahahahahaha. Sana better na to. Kumpara sa first writting ko, waaaah! Okay. Bye, hahahahahaha.
