Ikigai

Chapter 33: Rain

She knew the rain was going to come, had even smelled it from the patio door the moment she stepped outside, but the idea of letting her body's reaction control her, the fear that seemed to creep into her chest and put a knot in her throat, had pushed her to follow Kakashi into what she knew was an inevitable reaction.

Maybe she was a masochist for coming out here. But she hadn't wanted Kakashi to spend any more time with Itachi than was necessary.

"We should go," Kakashi muttered quietly, hovering a hand over her shoulder uncertain whether he should touch her or not. He wasn't good at comfort, but even he knew better than to ask if she was okay when she clearly wasn't.

Kintsugi paused, head tilted to the side as she sensed him move his own umbrella over her, the echoes dulling slightly as the rain began to pour around her instead of on her. He was waiting for her, and her heart ached knowing that this was not a normal reaction, not one she normally expected. And realizing that various forms of kindness were not unusual for people to show when one was hurting, it all the more seemed to pierce her heart as she recalled her own world. 

If people could be so kind, why were her own so cruel? 

"Are you good to check out another area...or do you want to go home?"

As much as Kakashi wanted to spend a bit more time with her, something he couldn't explain to himself, he knew that whatever was causing her to react this way could only be helped if she wanted to. And he wanted to, to be someone that could help.

"You know," she whispered eyes slowly lifting to meet his own as he stared down at her, "you make it really hard to hate you."

Kakashi's brows lifted in surprise before pulling down into a frown, "I would hope so. I'm not exactly out here trying to actively make enemies out of people."

"That's not what Guy says," Kintsugi smirked as she tried to focus on the current conversation, knowing full well that he knew what effect he had on people.

"When have you talked to Guy? Besides, Guy says a lot of things."

"Everybody talks to Guy...or at least he talks to everybody. Either way...I believe him," Kintsugi shrugged, suddenly pulling the umbrella from his grip as she began to walk off.

Kakashi scoffed before smiling, hands raking through his now wet hair as he picked up her discarded, muddied umbrella before following her.

He knew she wasn't okay yet, but that was alright. He admired that she was trying and perhaps he couldn't explain it completely, but it was moments like these, where he had watched her from the sidelines as she fell and got back up time after time that warmed a part of him, that made him realize that for some reason, now out of all the people he had come across in his lifetime, his heart had started to beat a little bit differently for the blind woman before him.

----

Fourteen. Beneath the rain that continued to pour, Kintsugi had reported a total of fourteen tunnels that she knew she had not built on just the eastern border of the village. It would have been fifteen if she had included the tunnel with the family taking refuge inside of it. 

She knew that there were some people that just didn't want to go through the system.

But Kintsugi was a selective snitch and something told her that even if Kakashi knew she was lying when she said there was nothing there, he wouldn't exactly report it. At least, not right away.

So much for village security, she thought. 

The sky was finally clearing up, a slight drizzle fading out as a chill breeze settled upon them. And they would have continued walking, had not a figure appeared before them. 

"Kakashi-sensei," the anbu spoke, face completely covered by a white mask, "your presence is requested immediately."

"By who?"

"Danzo-sama. The council is having a meeting with the Hokage as we speak. He has requested a subpoena for your presence at the impromptu trial."

"Trial? What trial?" Kintsugi scowled, sensing the rigid way the man stood, "We're kind of in the middle of something your council requested in the first place."

As much as she didn't want to admit it, Kintsugi didn't want to be left alone. Not with her own thoughts. Not right now. And the most likely possibility that she was about to be left alone very soon, pulled at her stomach.

"It is none of your concern, I assure you, madam. Now...Kakashi-san," the man turned to him as he gestured, head tilted in a slight bow, "I have been asked to inform Lady Kintsugi that she is to continue in her inspection of the village. Your assistance Kakashi-san will not be necessary for now."

It wasn't long before the man finished talking that he disappeared. No room left for an argument, no room left to ask to reschedule. Kakashi had to go.

"You should head home," Kakashi finally spoke lowly as he watched Kintsugi turn towards him, her hair sweeping with the wind in a way that pulled at his lips.

"What about what he said?"

"You can head back out once you eat something," Kakashi suggested as he offered her a smile she could not see, "We're a village of ninjas. I doubt anyone is going to infiltrate the village again so soon if we're currently on high alert...Go," he told her.

Kintsugi hesitated as she offered him the umbrella back, only to frown as he shook his head no, pausing as her breath began to hitch in an attempt to control her breathing. She didn't want the panic to settle in so soon after the rain had disappeared. 

"You keep it. I'll be back later anyway."

It was Kintsugi's turn to nod in reluctance, understanding on some level that his gesture brought her some comfort. Kakashi was too kind.

And as he uttered a gentle goodbye, she didn't turn back to see him watch her walk away before he too disappeared, finally leaving her alone. Alone with her thoughts.