Conflicts of Interest: A Justin Fanfiction Saga

Chapter Thirteen: When She Comes My Way

She did not see them.

Justin turned his head to Emma but kept his eyes on Madeline. "Did you do this?" he accused.

"Guilty as charged," she said wickedly. "I thought you needed a little help."

"I could kill you, you know," he said in a timid voice that lacked any authority. "What if I'm not ready to talk to her?"

"Then you'd be letting her go yet again, and I'm not talking about the video either. I don't think you're that dumb. Besides, if you killed me, there's this skinny guy I'm close to who might get mad," Emma said, eyes twinkling.

"Yeah?" J.C. cracked with a laugh. "Who would that be?"

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Hold on my heart / Just hold on to that feeling / We both know we've been here before / We both know what can happen

Hold on my heart / Cause I'm looking over your shoulder / Please don't rush in this time / Don't show her how you feel

Hold on my heart / Throw me a lifeline / I'll keep a place for you / Somewhere deep inside

Hold on my heart / Please tell her to be patient / Cause there has never been a time / That I wanted something more

If I can recall this feeling / And I know there's a chance / Oh I will be there / Yes I will be there / Be there for you / Whenever you want me to / Whenever you call I will be there / Yes I will be there

Hold on my heart / Don't let her see you crying / No matter where I go / She'll always be with me

Hold on my heart / Just hold on to that feeling / We both know we've been here before / We both know what can happen / So hold on my heart

--"Hold On My Heart," Genesis

What am I doing here? Madeline wondered. Why do I let myself get talked into these situations?

She'd run into Emma after the group had left and the two girls had joyfully reunited. Madeline detailed her brief and awkward interaction with Justin, and Emma pleaded that she talk things out with him.

"I can't," Madeline answered, shaking her head as she carried a cardboard box of desk belongings to the building's elevator. "I've spent all this time moving on, and to have it all brought out again ..."

"I thought you wanted closure," Emma protested.

"I called him when the video premiered, don't you remember?" Madeline responded, nudging the button for the garage. "I called your cell phone and they were all over at your place. I got my closure then, Emma. I said everything I wanted to say, threw myself down on my sword, and he said goodbye. If that's not closure, I don't know what is."

"But don't you still love him?" the older girl asked.

Madeline waited until the elevator doors opened and they stepped into the garage before she answered. "It was so ironic that the school set me up with an internship here," she mused. "His picture was only on every other wall in this place. I think every time I passed one I'd gauge my pain, hoping it'd go down a little every day."

"And did it?"

Madeline looked straight at her. "You know, every day I knew Justin, I wished he'd do something unredeemable so I'd have a reason to hate him. Then he turned out to be the virtuous one while I did something unredeemable. I never knew anyone who could penetrate me so easily, Emma; who could make me so vulnerable. He's the only one who can top me in an insult match and defuse my hot air just by smiling."