Conflicts of Interest: A Justin Fanfiction Saga

Chapter Thirteen: When She Comes My Way

Justin racked his mind for something -- anything -- to keep her there, but came up empty. His mouth refused to produce the right words.

"How long are you here for?" she was asking now.

"We leave tomorrow morning," he replied, almost reluctantly.

"Well then," she said lightly. "It was good to see you."

"You, too."

"Take care, Justin," she said, trying to keep strain out of her voice. She bit the side of her bottom lip tentatively, then tore her eyes off him and left the room. She knew she wouldn't see him again.

He stood alone in the conference room, feeling like he'd warped from another dimension. His mouth felt full of cotton; his heart was pulsing wildly. He felt incapable of moving.

He'd let her go again.

Madeline continued to walk without looking back, forcing herself to push on with each step.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Well," Joey sighed, looking at the melancholy figure next to him on the beach. "At least the mystery is solved."

"Yeah, but I'm not seeing better moods here," Chris said, digging his toes into the sand.

Lance squinted into the sun, now a brilliant shade of orange and lowering itself over the horizon. "She looks like she's doing OK," he offered, "for someone who got thrown some real curve balls, what with the financial aid and all."

Justin didn't say anything. His emotions had been in high tumult since the afternoon, and he had been afraid to open his mouth for fear of what would leave it.

"There she is," J.C. called out to his girlfriend, who was picking her way down the beach in bare feet. "Where have you been?"

"I had someone to see," Emma replied, smiling down at his sitting figure and kissing the top of his head. "What've you been doing, checking out other women or what?"

J.C. grinned. "Someday she'll come along, the girl I love," he began to croon. "Her smile will be a song, the girl I love / When she comes my way, I'll do my best to make her stay ..."

Justin's ears pricked up at the familiar jazz tune, and the ache buried itself deeper into him, until his now-functioning mouth finally had to cry out.

"It's my fault," he blurted.

J.C. stopped singing. The others looked at Justin.

"What is?" Chris asked.

"That I lost her." Justin picked up a handful of sand and let it sift through his fingers. "I couldn't forgive her when she asked me to, and I waited too long. Now she's got a whole new life going on ... I could see it in her face."

He looked up at his friends' sympathetic expressions.

"I thought I was punishing her," he admitted. "I don't know why I thought she'd be grateful to see me. It doesn't matter to her if I want to talk. It doesn't matter to her if I still ..." he drifted off.

"Why don't you tell her this stuff?" Emma asked gently.

"How can I tell her this stuff?" Justin asked, clenching another fistful of sand in frustration. "She was there, and I stood like an idiot and didn't say anything. I couldn't function then; how can I function now, just open my mouth and pour all this out?"

Emma squatted in front of him. "You could start by standing up where you are and walking about thirty feet that way," she said gently, and pointed.

Standing on the edge of the surf in the distance, holding a pair of sandals in her hand and looking out toward the water, was Madeline. She'd changed out of her work clothes and put on a cotton T-shirt dress. Her hair billowed in the wind and head was downcast to the waves lapping at her feet.