Alpha to Omega-mxm

Chapter 1

At least I will likely die before I lose my entire arm. 

A few droplets of water tapped against the top of his dark-haired head a moment later, drawing his attention upward as the sky began to release the rain it had been consolidating. 

"Mmm," he hummed as he slowly leaned back until his body settled within the mud. 

It felt good. Not simply because he had always enjoyed the feeling of rain on his body, but because, for the first time in as long as he could remember, no one cared what he did. No one was watching him, expecting something more. He was not an alpha that had to be careful with his every move. He didn't have to watch his back or care about behaving unprofessionally for fear of whispers. 

In fact...

Allowing a rare, tired smile to grace his chapped lips, he let his exhausted body slowly roll onto its side, closer to the deeper mud, then with a little more effort, onto its belly for a brief moment, then back onto its back. Mud immediately soaked through the remaining dry portion of his messy shirt and cooled his skin as he minutely moved his head back and forth, making his already-dark hair look like quite the sight.

When he had been a young pup his wolf had absolutely loved rolling in mud. Of course, his parents had stopped that habit with a few well-placed bites and loud snarls, but every once in a while he'd allow his pup to take over and enjoy itself for a very brief time when no one was around. 

When he'd moved to the city, however, those little escapes had been quashed altogether. Being an alpha was nothing to scoff at, and being one that assisted other packs while still fully managing its own large one was daunting and exhausting. 

Not to mention that he'd had to force his wolf to accept silver injections in secret, too, in order to procure their safety. Even though it hadn't helped in the end...  

"Take this one moment of peace. You don't deserve it, but who is around to care enough to stop you?" he told himself as he slowly rolled onto his side and nuzzled the left side of his face into the soft mud. 

A close-lipped smile tugged his lips upward again as he rolled back onto his other side and kicked his bare foot into the mud as his left hand did the same, sending a bit of water and mud flying. 

He rolled around for quite some time before settling onto his back again to catch his breath and stare up at the darkening sky after wiping off his left eye and right eye patch.

"I haven't done that in years..." he whispered as he panted, the sound of the increasing rainstorm swallowing his words with ease. 

"I'm sorry that you can't be here for this," he added as he searched inside of himself, but knew that he would find nothing. 

He had intentionally crippled his wolf. Even though he had done it for the greater good, his wolf didn't understand that, and it definitely didn't have to forgive him for it, either. Hell, he didn't forgive himself, because starting those injections had lead to a lot more wolves suffering and several even dying when he could no longer handle the experiments by himself. He deserved to lose his wolf and die a slow, painful death. 

Marquise remained where he was until the storm began pushing the water from the lake higher and higher on his body, eventually getting close to covering his mouth. 

Forced to move, because drowning was still the one thing that terrified him, he groaned as his body protested. The mud had been fun while he'd been rolling around, but after lying in it for the better half of an hour, it had sunk its claws into his clothing and wrapped itself around his tired body with ease. Thus, sitting up took nearly all of his remaining energy.