Hey You (Stucky)

Bucky's Solitary Confinement

A/N: I am in a glass prison of emotion...

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Bucky Barnes

Newgate Prison

Manhattan, NY

Cell 107

April 10th 2015

Steve Rogers

Avengers Tower

Manhattan, NY

Steve,

I hope you weren't worrying too much when I took almost three weeks to reply. Got myself into a serious fight the day after you sent me your letter, the day Tony visited. He fixed my arm up real good, so please thank him for that. Anyway, I was in the rec room for my hour and a half, watching the TV. They had a documentary sort of thing on...about you. I was happy watching it, I felt calm, but I could feel other presences around me. One of the inmates who seems to think he's the ruler of this place was bragging on about how he could take you down in seconds. He started saying all this crap and I wasn't having it Steve. It reminded me of all the times I had your back when you used to end up in alley fights and I had to save your bacon. But he kept going on and on, I could feel my metal arm twitching and recalibrating when I get angry.

It pissed me off so much to hear the things he was saying about you. He said you were just a poster boy, that you're just a guy behind a shield. I stood up and told him he was wrong. Told him you were the finest guy I knew back in the day. I gave him a mouthful Stevie, called him every name under the sun for insulting you. Then he just sneered at me, called me queer, said I was making fucking heart-eyes at you the whole time I watched you on screen. The slurs just kept coming out of his mouth and he shoved me back. Everybody knows who I am there and he said I should have just gotten a bullet between my head, so should you...so should everyone else that lives with you at Avengers Tower.

My arm had a mind of its own and I clocked him right on the jaw, sent him flying. His pals all ganged up on me but I kicked the hell out of them. Next thing I knew I was on this guy, slamming him against the ground and punching him. I was so furious I couldn't see straight and then it hit me like a strong wind. Instead of him, I saw you, when we were on that Helicarrier and you tried to convince me that I was James Barnes. I saw the way you looked at me with hope, that little bit of hope that I might come to my sense. And then you said 'I'm with you 'till the end of the line' and that's what broke everything apart inside my head. I freaked out and I stood back from the guy, my hands were shaking and I could hear my heart pounding. The wardens grabbed me then, took me to solitary confinement and left me in there for two weeks and a few days. I didn't have my music or my tablet with my books and my games. So I slowly lost my mind again. When I got out I just got taken straight to my cell. I'm not allowed out of it anymore. At least not when that other asshole is out there. And a warden has to be with me now, all the fucking time.

I've screwed up again Steve. It looks like I just keep adding onto my jail time.

I'm sorry.

I'm not perfect Steve. If anything, the only perfect one is you. What I've done, what I've seen...it's not okay. I'm not okay.

Maybe you should just give up on me, because I'm giving up all over again.

I don't know what to do. But please write back to me soon, I just want to know that you ain't mad at me pal. Help me find some sort of light out of this darkness. Steve...there's things I want to tell you. But I can't because I may never get to say them to your face. So why should I bother?

Yours always,

Bucky

P.S. There's a drawing in here of something I remembered. Remember Coney Island? I drew that. Hope you like it. And tell Tony thanks for explaining the tech again. I'll use it when I can actually stomach getting out of bed.

Steve dropped the letter on his desk, his head falling into his hands as he lent against the desk. He choked out a cry and shook his head as guilt washed over him. He'd been worrying about Bucky for weeks, wondering why he wasn't getting any letters back. His shoulders shook as he wept, his breathing coming out in short bursts. The blonde couldn't stand the thought of Bucky being pushed in a cell with no windows, a solid door and probably a mat on the floor. He wasn't a fucking dog. I should have done more he thought.

"I should have done more!" he roared, slamming his fists down on the desk.

Anger washed over him as he shoved himself off the desk, sending it skidding across the floor. He grabbed the nearest chair and threw it at the glass floor to ceiling mirror with a yell. Steve upturned furniture and threw everything off the desk including Bucky's letter. The screams of anguish could be heard down the hallway and hurried footsteps came thudding down the hardwood floors. When the door swung open, Steve was throwing the desk lamp at the wall, his chest heaving.

"Steve! Hey come on!" Tony's voice yelled.

But he just kept going, smashing a picture frame down on the leg of a chair that was upside down. Tony intervened before Steve could smash anything else, grabbing the blonde's wrist tight.

"Steve stop it!" he demanded, staring at the blonde angrily.

Steve tried to struggle but Tony's grip was tighter than he'd ever experienced before. His shoulders sagged as Tony grabbed the frame and threw it away, taking hold of Steve's other wrist. The blonde's emotions switched again as he began sobbing heavily, dropping to his knees. His hands were now gripping Tony's wrists as he hung his head and lost all control over his emotions. Tony shushed him and sat down with him, pulling the blonde into his arms and embracing him.

"I should have done more," he whimpered.

"You tried so hard Steve. You tried," Tony assured him.

"Tony I-" Steve paused, his grip tightening on Tony.

"What is it Steve?" he questioned.

Steve shook his head as he buried his face into the crook of Tony's neck. It had been a feeling that had fizzled in and out of him for years and years. But now it just seemed to burn with an intensity that Steve couldn't shake off. Tony rubbed small circles on the super soldier's back and blinked away a few tears that started to form in his eyes. If anything, he was the one who hated seeing Steve like this the most.

"Cap you can tell me anything," Tony soothed.

The blonde let out a shaky breath and a few more choked sobs as he tilted him head up slightly, so he could whisper in Tony's ear.

"I love him..." he whispered.