Sunflowers, Fireworks, and my Prickly Stoner Neighbor

Cicadas, Sweat, and Cardboard Boxes

It was hot outside the Pizzler Apartments. Cicadas were chirping loudly under the summer sun. Emerging from the hood of a car was a short crocodile carrying a large box, cursing and wiping his brow.

"YEOUWCH!" Chonfy Shatpantsy exclaimed, dropping a box on his foot. Upon contact, the box broke, spilling QQ Dogs everywhere. Chonfy sighed and bent down to pick them up so they wouldn't get ants on them. After a few minutes, Chonfy heard footsteps and froze. The new neighbors might think his QQ Dog collection was weird... He scrambled to pick up the last ones before the mystery person arrived, but he was too late.

"Need any help~?" The stranger called in a suave, raspy voice. Chonfy nervously looked up, and before him was the sexiest man in Mt. Nipplinoops. He was a deeper, darker green than Chonfy, with spikes and slender arms. He was wearing a royal purple vest and looked zesty as hell. Chonfy was speechless.

"Eh, not gonna answer me? That's fine..." The stranger huffed, sounding peeved. He stood there for a few minutes more, and looked at his watch. Chonfy glanced at him from the corner of his eye, hoping for the stranger to wait a little longer. He hoped in vain.

"Well, then, I think it's time for me to get going. See you around~" the stranger crooned wistfully, silently asking Chonfy to respond. Chonfy did not respond. He could not. He wanted to. But all he could do was stand and stare, longingly. After what felt like an eternity of staring, the handsome cactus began to walk away. As he reached the apartment complex, Chonfy finally mustered all his courage and cried out: "WAIT!"

The cactus turned, smirking. "I knew you'd acknowledge me eventually~ What's up?"

"Um, uh... Well-" Chonfy stammered. He hadn't actually thought of what he was gonna say. All he could think about was this smoking hot cactus and how much he wanted his prickly dickly. "Erm... Y- Um.... You're...." He continued to choke up.

"C'mon, spit it out already," the stranger whined. "I haven't got all day~☆" he added, winking. Chonfy turned bright red and clutched his chest. Suddenly, he blurted out exactly what he was thinking, despite himself.

"SEX!!!" Chonfy exclaimed, and then gasped and covered his face with his hands. "E- excuse me!" he squeaked.

The cactus chuckled and ran his fingers through his bangs. "Mm, you sure do know how to speak your mind... Once you actually do speak, that is~!" Chonfy peeked through his fingers. "I must say, you are very fine, but... I've got somewhere to go~! Later, alligator~☆"

And with that, the stranger was gone. They hadn't exchanged numbers, emails, or even names. Chonfy sighed and wearily closed the trunk of the car. His chance for a hot summer fling had been ruined. Sure, there were other fish in the sea, but Chonfy couldn't let go of this suave, prickly stranger. He exuded charm and dominance. Chonfy liked that. Chonfy liked his clothes that were totally rock. He wondered if the cactus was in a band. That would be really hot. The only not hot thing, though, was the lingering smell of marijuana.