Empty Spaces

Chapter 23

"Not really," Malfoy said, clutching his mug with both hands, seeking its warmth. "You?"

"Dunno," Harry replied. "I'll probably just stay here, though."

"Yea," Malfoy agreed, "Same. What do people even do on Christmas?"

"No idea," Harry said, shaking his head and laughing at the irony of it all. Good question. What do people do on Christmas? Like, regular, average people who aren't fighting in wars or anything... "Put up trees and stuff...?"

Malfoy laughed again and Harry had to resist a sudden urge to reach across the table and take Malfoy's hands in his. Instead, he settled for pulling out his wand and touching it the edge of Malfoy's shirt sleeve, ignoring the raised eyebrow coming at him from across the table.

"Caldorium," Harry murmured, enjoying watching Malfoy's expression change as the warming spell took effect.

"What the hell, Potter, and I mean this in the best way possible," Malfoy smiled while Harry couldn't help gloating, just a little. It had been a rather useful discovery of Hermione's during their long, cold days on the run last year. "No, really, thanks," Malfoy continued with uncharacteristic sincerity. Harry realized the memories must have been showing on his face, and he quickly rearranged his expression.

"I'll show you how to do it," he said. "Hermione discovered it last year... It wears off after a while, though."

"'Course she did. This is amazing. Shit, I could have used this spell all my life," Malfoy said, relaxing in the warmth. Harry could physically see the tension leaving, and was once again fighting the urge to lean across the table and do something stupid... something he might regret... something that might ruin every bridge they'd managed to cross... But damn... he wanted to...

On a whim of bravery, or possibly stupidity, Harry reached over and placed his hand on top of Malfoy's. Not by accident, not for some other more practical purpose, but because he wanted to. Well, he really wanted to do other things, but he figured he could start with this. And to his immense relief, Malfoy turned his hand over and took Harry's in his own.

"You don't know what you're getting into, Potter," Malfoy said quietly, intertwining their fingers.

"I'm pretty sure I do," Harry replied stubbornly.

"I"m a piece of shit," Malfoy said.

"We've been through this. So am I. We can be shits together," Harry persisted.

"No, Potter, you don't understand!!" Malfoy was starting to sound desperate.

"So help me to! What don't I understand??" Harry pressed back.

Malfoy looked torn, trapped. Harry tried again.

"Look, Malfoy, we don't talk about the past much because it sucks and it hurts and most of the time it doesn't matter. But... I was there this summer. At the trials. I heard... all the testimonies, not just yours. I know what was going on inside the Manor... and..."

"No, you don't," Malfoy said quietly, barely audible. "Well, you know a lot. More than anyone else, probably. But not... everything..."

"Shit. Malfoy..."

"Shut up, Potter, I don't need your sympathy," Malfoy dismissed. Much to Harry's relief, however, they had yet to let go of hands.

"I'm not giving you sympathy," Harry retorted, "Not unless you want it, which you probably don't." Which is just another reason why I like... Harry pushed the thoughts aside. "Draco. What is it that I need to understand?"

He'd said the magic words– Malfoy's gray eyes finally lifted off the floor. Eyes haunted by a lifetime of sadness, eyes that were now looking into Harry's own, searching for things just out of reach...

"I'm a Malfoy. Not just a Malfoy, I am The Malfoy. The only son and heir to the entire Malfoy bloodline," he said, unable to hide his desperation. "So you know that means my sole purpose in life is to marry some pureblood witch and produce an heir."

"I'm... gonna go out on a limb here and assume that's not your first choice in what you want to do with your life..." Harry said as Malfoy gave a dry smile in return. "So... what happens if you don't?"

"Hell freezes over? World apocalypse?" Malfoy said, and now it was Harry's turn to smile wryly back. This... this right here... this is why I like you... "Do you really want to find out?"

"Maybe," Harry said before he could help it.

"No you don't," Malfoy replied, sounding sad now, "It's not worth it..."

"Some things are worth anything," Harry insisted. Can I kiss you now?

"Like receiving a shit ton of money to leave me alone?" Malfoy spat out bitterly.

"Wait, what!?" Harry pulled his hand back, "Who the hell would do that, and who the hell..." Realization dawned on him. "Oh, what the fuck, Malfoy, now you want to talk about your idiot ex-boyfriend, REALLY??? Now??"

"You started it, Potter," Malfoy replaced his hand on his cold mug. "You want to understand?? Lucius paid him to leave because the 'Malfoy legacy must continue.' So Andor took the offer and left."

"HE SUCKED," Harry shot back, incredulous. "I told you you deserved better."

"You don't understand! That fucking family name is EVERYTHING to Lucius. What will he do to you..."

"Not pay me to leave you, that's for sure," Harry scoffed.

"But that's just one move in the game, Potter, you don't know what the next one will be. It'll catch you off guard and then you'll be stuck in the shit and that's how he gets you. Don't think I don't know, I learned from the fucker."

"Good. You can help me outmaneuver him," Harry dismissed. "And Lucius is in prison, Malfoy, along with most of his minions..."

"And he STILL managed to sink his claws in, all the way over here," Malfoy protested warily. "You can't underestimate him..."

"I'm not," Harry replied. "And neither are you. What do you want in all this, Draco?"

"You don't want to know..."

"Try me," Harry insisted.

"It's going to be a piece of work..."

"Worth every bit of it..."

"I don't know what the future will bring..."

"Does anyone?"

"I want..."

But what Draco wanted, Harry didn't bother waiting to find out. He got up and moved around the table, closing the empty space between them, doing what he'd wanted to do for ages except that the entire world always seemed to be getting in their way... but now it was just the two of them, and it was glorious. Far sooner than he wanted, he pulled back, tentative, seeking Malfoy's reaction...

"Do you want to do this, Potter?" he whispered.

"Only if you do," Harry whispered back.

"You know what you're getting into?"

"Yea, but you're worth it," Harry said, closing the empty space once more.