"I Am Tired and I Don't Want To Feel Regret" Lakshman

1. If I were Him

Oh wow, I have just finished reading all of Wattpad's story on Lakshman. I wish there were more, considering that he is my favorite characters from the Ramayana. Lakshman is amazing, considering how much he sacrifices without expecting anything in return. I just love him; he is amazing, but I wonder if he was ever happy.

Sometime I wonder if I were in his shoes, would I have made the same decision, especially after coming back from a 14-year exile? If I were him, I would have become a little more selfish, especially about his wife Urmila, who never gets credits in any Ramayana TV shows.

I also love Urmila's character in the Ramayana, considering she let her husband go with his brother and sister-in-law. She also kept everyone in Ayodhya as happy as possible so that when her husband returns with Ram and Sita, everyone in Ayodhya can be there for them. She kept her word when her husband told her not to cry during the 14-year phase because she needed to be strong to keep everyone in the family strong. She also slept for 14 years, as her husband did not sleep those 14 years as he was protecting Ram and Sita in the jungle day and night.

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You guys might wonder how Urmila fulfilled her responsibility of taking care of Ayodhya. In this story, let's just say that a powerful guru taught her how to clone herself off so that she could perform all of the duties of a daughter-in-law and a secondary queen until her sister came back.

Btw, most of the things I am writing are my own fanfic, so please do not be mad.

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Urmila made one of, if not the, greatest sacrifices, and it is not widely known. I wish Lakshman was a little more selfish when he came back from exile and stopped himself from being with Ram always. I wish he felt that he had done his part for Ram from then on, considering what Sita and Ram had accused him of during Sita's kidnapping from Ravana.

Lakshman could never forget or forgive what Sita had said to him to make him leave before going to aid Ram. I am pretty sure if I were Lakshman, I would still remember what Sita said when she heard the cry of the fake Ram: "You are the enemy of your brother in the form of a friend. Because of me, you wish for Rama to be completely destroyed, and only because of your cupidity for me are you not following up on Raghava."

I would be totally broken and might have replied in a very bad manner, but Lakshman's reply was just amazing, as in it he just said, "I do not venture to reply you, Maithili, as you are like a deity to me."

More I think about those moments I just love Lakshman he is amazing.

I am also wondering how he would have felt when Ram accused and blamed Lakshman when Sita had been abducted by Ravana. "I trusted you," Ram roared. "You were supposed to protect her and never leave her alone."

But in replying again, Lakshman never said anything and just took the blame, wondering if he was at fault as he hung his head down and tears were surfacing in his eyes, but he quickly cleaned those tears off and listened to Ram since at the moment Ram was not in the right state of mind.

As Ram continues, "You probably never loved your wife, that's why it was easy for you to leave your wife without any second thought." That's when I feel like Lakshman should have said to himself that after these 14 years and after finding Mata Sita, he would stop doing his brotherly duties and start doing his other duties, such as being a good husband.

As I think more about Lakshman, I just feel like he was never appreciated for his work in the epic Ramayana. For example, his killing of Indrajit, who is the literally only non-god that is Ati-Maharath, basically means he is equal to 12 Maharathis, which means he is equal to 12 Ravana, 12 Arjun, or 12 Karna. He possessed all three Astra of the three almighty gods; he had the Brahmastra, the Vaishnavastra, and the Pashupatiastra. A boon from Brahma was that after the completion of the yagna for his native goddess, or the "Nikumbhila yagna," he would receive a celestial chariot, and when he rode on it, he couldn't be killed in a war and would become invulnerable. He received another boon from Brahma in which he can only be killed by a common man who hasn't slept for 12 years, hasn't seen a woman's face for 12 years, and hasn't eaten for 12 years. The only person to meet all those criteria was Lakshman, so I believe he completed the most difficult assignment.

Every single day, I just wonder if, if I were in Lakshman's shoes, would I have made the same decision or would I have become more selfish and made Lakshman's life filled with happiness rather than just a tale of sacrifice without getting any appreciations.

As I was wondering, I just heard a noise inside my head that just said, "Let's see what decision you would have made in my life if you were me."

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So I am just going to write from Lakshman's pov from the next chapter, thank you for reading.

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