Beloved Nemesis

Chapter Twenty-Five

a/n: please assure you're in a stable state before reading this chapter. This chap is quite longer than my prior written ones. Also...lol

________________________

There would always come a day when you just realize that you can't do anything anymore, and just let things be.

I watched Zuo Hang from afar. I guess that's all I could ever do. He was there in the playground and the smile on his face perfectly matched the morning sun shining before him. How did I not see that during the days his attention was on me? How could I let go of someone like him? I must've been too numb back then. Or maybe I just took everything he gave for granted.

No days has passed without me feeling regret and self loathing. All I could ever do was sigh, and maybe just try to forget him. But it never happened. He was etched too well in my chest that even when I don't see him, simple little things remind me of him.

The seating arrangement was changed, and I am now seated close to the window, where I could see the outdoor areas of the school. The place feels seraphic, giving me a sense of calmness while my mind is at mess.

This time, Zuo Hang's seat is in front of me, and I was the one behind him. It actually made it harder to get rid of my feelings. The mere sight of him flutters my heart. I wonder if he ever felt this way when I was sitting in front of him.

Class has started, and everyone is in the room. As what we always did, we stood up to greet our teacher and then sat afterwards. The teacher had her lesson, and we opened our books to which page she tells us to find. An hour was about to end and before leaving the classroom, she made an announcement.

"Zuo Hang, Sloane Saros, please stand up." The teacher said. Despite the confusion I felt, I stood up just as she asked us to. She looked at us seriously. "You two will be our school representatives for the English Spelling Contest, to be held two weeks from now." I thinned my lips and nodded. Our classmates clapped and cheered for us upon hearing the announcement. Before letting us sit, the teacher added some more things to spice up my nervousness. "I recommend you both to study with each other. I don't really have much time to mentor you two. But I know that both of you can do it."

I looked at Zuo Hang but he never even spared a glance at me. Crazy to say, I was used to it. And it was fine for me as long as I can still stare at him without any prohibition.

Before leaving for lunch, I gulped. Ever since this morning, I've been planning to try and talk to him about the contest. My cold, shivering finger gently poked his back. 

"Uhm, we— we can study at the library... if you want." Without waiting for his reply (if ever he wants to even talk to me,) I stood up and quickly walked to the door and left the room. I almost ran away just to not show how nervous I am and how crazy I just got after finding the courage to talk to him.

Upon distancing myself away from him, I leaned myself on the wall. My heart is beating so fast as if I joined a marathon. But afterwards, I smiled to myself. I talked to him today. I'm already satisfied with that.

"Sloane? What are you doing?" Eva coincidentally found me. I fixed myself and stood close to her.

"Nothing. Just taking a breath." I spoke. "You going to the cafeteria?" I immediately wanted to change the topic.

"I'm not sure if I could still buy you some lunch." Eva shook her head.

"Eva, you're not obligated to. Not like I even asked." I smiled. During my times of need, she was always there to help. Maybe because of busyness, I found myself forgetting to take care of myself, and she was always there to remind me that. She buys me food, and makes sure that I never get hungry. She even brings me school materials when she notices that I lack them. It would be a shame if I make her continue all those things she's doing. The help she did was enough.