Hi. It's been the 3rd day since you last talked to me. I badly miss you. I miss you so much. I cant function well because everytime I look around, all I see are memories of us. I cant help but cry. The first few days were like hell. I cant sleep, I cant eat and I cant even go out my room. I cry a lot of times. When I scroll on to my phone. When I see your face, it just makes me sad. And cry again.
I hope one day I will be okay. I hope one day I will be fine. I know one day, I will be. But for now, I'll cry my heart out. Until all the pain vanishes. Im writing this journal so I can update you even on my mind. So that I can share with you what happens to me everyday. I dont know if one day you'll read this. But Im not hoping anymore.
I was so proud of myself. I went to the gym yesterday, and guess what? Its leg day. Your favorite workout! Pati ba naman dun, naaalala kita. And I can clearly remember all the times na we work out together. It was one of our bonding moments. And I was able to sleep early, but still expecting if you'll message me. I know you were at work and I know how much you hate that. But in a few weeks, you'll be free. And Im happy for you.
Today, I woke up early. 4am. Hahatid si dad sa airport. Remember I told you that? And yes I know you're still at the office. Dumaan kami skyway, and I was looking for your building. Unbelievable right? Well, I was just hoping you're doing fine. I drove back to our house and it was already past 5am. I know you're on your way home. At the back of my mind, "hey walang traffic sa EDSA." Hay. Even in small things I remember you.
I woke up again. Still remembering you. Kami lang ni Mavin sa bahay. And alam mo ba, he's calling me "tita" na. Wala lang. I just remembered how you were laughing when I told you how he just calls me by my name.
I will try to accomplish things today. Wish me luck. I need to go on with my life as you go on with yours. Just please also pray for me. Na I can forget you.
May 12k na papasok na pera ko. I was so excited to tell you. Pero I cant na. Di na ako napapasaya nung mga bagay na nagpapasaya sakin dati.
I saw you online. I wanted to type something. But I retracted. Ingat ka papunta office. Always take care of yourself.
Im crying again. Please. I want this to stop na.
Done na gym for the day. It feels so good na mag gym. Sana nashashare ko sayo to ngayon. Well, stalking you helps me pala. To accept. Everything.
