I'm a Healer, But...

25

It's been two days, and Tommy doesn't know what's going on.He kind of assumed something would have happened by now. Phil was so ominous, and Wilbur was so pushy, and Techno was so pissy- but Tommy's just been sitting here. In the nest. For two days.They won't let him leave. There's a bathroom attached to the nest, and they deliver meals and snacks fucking constantly, but he hasn't gotten more than a glimpse of the hallway since Techno first dropped him in here. Tommy hasn't tried to escape yet, though he's thought about it- but there's no windows in here or in the bathroom, and Techno is the one who keeps delivering meals and Tommy knows damn well he can't get past him, and-And he doesn't want to leave the nest.It's fucking creepy how much he doesn't want to leave the nest, actually. Most of him knows he should, knows he should try to shove his way past Techno and run as far as he can, out of the house, out of the forest, out of the country if he can... but then he tries to get out of the nest and he gets overwhelmed by how much fucking danger he's in.He's watched firsthand as Techno cut through flesh, looking bored as his victim of choice would scream. Sometimes he'd talk with Tommy over it, telling him some old myth or listing off whatever they had to do before they went hom- back to the house. And yeah, Tommy didn't care at the time, because he had power. Techno gave him power like he'd never had before, because he'd look at Tommy and say 'how do you want to do this' and-Tommy could choose. He had options.So he got to pick how people suffered, but Techno did it, and when Tommy stands up from the nest and takes a few steps his brain just screams at him, asking who gets to pick how he would suffer if he pissed them off enough. Who would tell Techno how to make him hurt?Would he decide himself?And that's just Techno. Tommy used to watch fights on TV while he waited for Dream to come home, and the cameras would cut off when things got too dicey, but he knows how competent the other two are, too. He's waited at Dream's door to heal shattered bones, to sew together gashes so deep you can see the organs underneath, to reattach a tongue that's been cut out. Tommy can heal himself, yeah, but that wouldn't stop him from hurting in the first place.But the nest is safe. No one will hurt him in the nest. Phil wouldn't want blood in his nest, Tommy convinces himself, so he's fine as long as he's here and alone.There's a knock on the door- just a warning, not asking for permission- and Tommy screams into a pillow out of frustration. "Hey, Tommy," Phil says, having the balls to sound concerned. "I'm coming in, alright?"Tommy doesn't give him an answer. Fuck that guy, actually.Phil, of course, enters the room. Tommy refuses to even look at him. "Hi, mate," he keeps his voice quiet and calm, like Tommy is some fucking feral animal he's trying to get to warm up to him. Well, he better watch out, because Tommy will fucking bite him. Except not, because that fear is back, only somewhat tempered by the safety of the nest. "How are you feeling?""Fuck you, eat shit," he mutters into the pillow. He's tired. Not just regular tired- though he hasn't slept in two days, and he's been healing himself but that just keeps his brain from shutting down, it doesn't stop him from being stupidly exhaused- but the kind of tired he always was at Dream's. Hopeless tired, where the spite that's been keeping him going starts to waver."That's not an answer," Phil gently scolds him."...I've been locked in a room for two fucking days, Angel. I'm not doing fucking great," he says through gritted teeth, trying not to be so aggressive that Phil will run out of patience but not so complacent that Phil thinks any of the shit he's done is okay.Phil coos, it's okay it's safe-"And cut that shit out. " It's not okay, he's not safe, so if Phil could give him the fucking courtesy of not lying to him. Fuck, it's so weird now that he's realized he knows what Phil's bird noises mean. Before he just assumed he was guessing, like yeah of course Phil is trying to comfort Wilbur when he's hurt, of course the upset chirp is something like 'what's wrong'. But it was never a guess, he just knew."You should get used to hearing it, mate. When you feel better, you'll start making them more, too.""I'm not going to," he hisses, just to be contrary. Fuck Phil.That just gets a quiet laugh out of Phil, like he was joking, and Tommy finally lifts his head to glare at him. He just looks pleased that Tommy's not hiding his face anymore. Fuck. "Hi there." Tommy huffs, and Phil smiles more. "Feeling cooped up?"He is. But he doesn't want to admit that, he doesn't want to give Phil anything that could be used against him, even something so obvious and so small that he won't be able to use it-"Do you want to go to your room?"Oh fuck, he can use it.Tommy's surprised at the offer, but then he takes a minute to actually think it over. That means leaving the safety of the nest- but that was always flimsy at best, just his head trying to convince him it was safe, the way he used to think Dream's couch was safe. It also means he'd be back in his room, which he barely got to use before all of this shit. Plus, unless they've emptied it out- which they probably have, but maybe not- he's got his knife from Techno in there. And his holiday knife from Wilbur.And most importantly, Henry."Yeah," he mumbles, and Phil beams like it was a quiz and he just gave the right answer. Tommy glances around and collects the few poppies he grew from healing his exhaustion, holding onto them tightly before standing up.Maybe this is his chance to run, actually. If they're letting him go between rooms, maybe he can just... bolt. He'll come back for Henry, maybe- or maybe he can ask Quackity for help getting him back- or he can sell them out to...No. He's not going to sell them out just because he's mad they're pretending to care about him. He can at least be grateful for what they've done for him so far-Why does that sound like something Dream would say? Fuck.He blinks when a hand waves in front of his face. "Get a little stuck in your thoughts, fledgling?" Phil murmurs. "It's okay. I know it's hard to leave the nest. I promise you'll be happy in your room, too.""It's not hard to leave the nest," Tommy lies. "It's fine, let's fucking go."It's actually hard to leave the nest. After days of lying in it, feeling safe, it's a little terrifying to step out of the room.He felt like that after he left Dream's apartment, too. Tommy walked out and suddenly he had the sun on his face, and the freedom to go wherever he wanted, and it was overwhelming. He missed the couch, the familiar rooms of the apartment, the lack of wind and even the filtered air that he exclusively breathed because their windows didn't open. The world was so much, and he was so small in comparison. At some point, it was only the distance he had traveled that stopped him from running back and begging Dream for forgiveness. He just wanted to be somewhere familiar.Agoraphobia, Charlie had said in a far too cheery voice for their discussion. Tommy denied it immediately, because he was a business partner, he wasn't supposed to show fear, but... well, it wasn't wrong.He thought he got over it. Las Nevadas was so big and beautiful, and he ran around exploring it whenever Quackity was too busy reconciling with his fiancé, and eventually the fear receded, replaced by curiosity and determination. He would meet the Syndicate, he'd never see Dream again, he'd be free -Don't be sad I'm here you're safe, a voice sings, and he jolts, brought back into awareness again.They're in the hall, Phil's hand on his shoulder. The world is blurry- oh, no. That's just his eyes being wet. If he was going to cry, he wishes it could have waited until Phil left him alone again.The song trails off, turning to words. "-it's okay, fledgling, I'm right here, just a few more steps down the hall, alright? Your room is just as safe as the nest, I promise," Phil says as he guides him to his room. Tommy tries to think of something to say, some way to snap at him, but his mind feels so slow. He's tired, he's distracted, he's upset, and Phil's already opening the door-Tommy stops in the doorway and blinks.His room is mostly how he left it. His holiday gifts are all on the ugly bubblegum pink desk he demanded Phil buy for him, even when Phil offered to buy him something way more expensive, even when Techno offered to build him a better desk. Dirty clothes lay on the floor next to the hamper- after Techno took him shopping one day after he got some 'traitor to the Syndicate' blood on one of his shirts, he had more than enough clothes to just toss them on the floor rather than clean them constantly. Even his joke of a medical book is still half-tucked under his pillow, where he left it before he fell asleep and had his nightmare.But also on the bed are lots and lots of blankets.They're not even familiar. He's seen the linen closet, it's got a ton of spare blankets and sheets, but these all look brand new and freshly washed and they're all over his stupidly big bed, which is fine but- why?Phil's hand falls from his shoulder and Tommy steps forward, immediately sitting on the edge of the bed. There's so much here, from silk sheets to fluffy comforters, but they're also just thrown around randomly? Kind of like... the nest?But worse, because they're all in the wrong place. He starts rearranging them, using the thickest ones as a base and then piling the thinner ones or the ones that feel best closer to the top. Some part of him whispers that it's weird, that he should be more concerned about why they're here or why Phil brought him to his room in the first place, but he's tired and he just wants to fix this.It takes a surprisingly short time to fix. He has to adjust it a few extra times, when he sits in it and realizes something is a little off, but finally he settles in and it's perfect. Even better than Phil's nest, actually, Tommy is the fucking king of making nests and every bird ever can kiss his ass-Did he just make a fucking nest."There you go," Phil says fondly. He sounds almost proud of him, and fuck, has he really just been standing in the doorway watching him the whole time? Tommy fucking forgot he was there. "It's better when it's your nest, isn't it?""What the fuck," he says, his throat feeling dry. "What the fuck?""Nesting is an avian instinct," he explains, still far too pleased. "You liked my nest, but it's better here, isn't it? That's because your instincts consider this your territory. You don't have to be worried about being in someone else's now."That's the stupidest shit he's ever heard and it explains so much. Tommy sinks further into the blankets. "Why the fuck."Phil shrugs. "Birds can be territorial little fucks. There's still some crows that are bitter I moved into their section of the forest. The shits love Techno, though, he keeps giving them bits of potato. But when I try to feed them, no, they'll divebomb the fuck out of me.""No, why the fuck did you- give me these?" He tugs on one of the blankets, and then immediately smooths it back into place.He cocks his head, as if he doesn't know why Tommy is confused. "Mate... first and foremost, we need to unstunt your instincts. They aren't going to let you give a bunch of predators and rival avians a chance until you can understand them-"Tommy bristles. "I'm not not giving you a chance because I'm- fucking- maybe part bird-""Oh, Tommy, we are very past you being 'maybe ' an avian-""Shut the fuck up- I'm not 'giving you a chance' because it's bullshit and I'm not going to let myself get fucking- fucking tricked just because you bitches want to- want to keep me trapped for literally forever-"I'm here I'm here, Phil coos when Tommy gets choked up, which doesn't help, he doesn't want Phil to be here! "Fledgling, it's not like that. We'll prove it to you, a thousand times over, as many times as you need. But right now you need to rest. Look, we added a lock to your door so you can lock us out when you need to feel safe, so you can shut that behind me and get some real sleep, alright?"Tommy's eyes dart towards the door- there is a lock there. One that locks from the inside. Is Phil serious? He really just... gave Tommy a way to shut them out?Dream removed Tommy's bedroom door when he was, what, thirteen? He'd been upset over something stupid, something Dream said he told him to do but he didn't remember Dream telling him but Dream insisted he had - and Tommy slammed the door shut and Dream fucking took it off it's hinges. He slept on the couch more often after that, because if he couldn't even get the privacy of a door, then why bother?But now he gets a lock. And... a nest of his own. Phil's right, it is much better when it's his, it feels safer, and he really is tired. He'll need to rest if he wants to try to leave... or if he wants to try to convince them that he won't play along and they should just go back to treating him like an employee.Tommy yawns. "Yeah. Fine. Get out."Phil ducks back into the hall, and Tommy gets to his feet, returning to the door to shut and lock it. He refuses to look Phil in the face as he does so, but Phil speaks up right as his hand grasps the doorknob. "Feel better, fledgling. We'll be waiting for you."Tommy slams the door in his face.