I'm a Healer, But...

13

Wilbur calls Fundy for the half-dozenth time as he pulls into a parking space at his college. He's been calling almost every half hour on the road, but still no answer, and it's making him very-"You know he's probably got, like, classes and shit, right?" Tommy asks from the back of the car. "He probably doesn't even know about Clay yet."As soon as Tommy had confirmed that Dream had been dating his Fundy, Wilbur packed him into the car and drove straight towards Fundy's college. He'd had Tommy tell him more along the way-How Dream had looked into Wilbur's past. How he'd found Sally, and thus the record of her son, and he immediately 'accidentally' met him. How Fundy asked him out and Dream accepted, both to spite his crush and to try to get information on Wilbur...But Fundy never brought him up. Even when Dream brought in Tommy to play the role of his little brother- and oh, how Tommy reeked of hurt-anger-longing when he said that, it made Wilbur want to cry- Fundy still never talked about his own family.Wilbur is proud of his son. He's also a tiny bit hurt, but at least Fundy never gave up anything that son of a bitch Dream could use.Wilbur calls two more times in quick succession, neither getting picked up, but the third finally gets him an answer. "Dad, I was taking my finals!" Fundy sounds annoyed, he probably is, but Wilbur can't tell over the phone. He needs to see him immediately."It's an emergency. What building are you in?"Fundy only hesitates for a moment. "Um, the maths department, it's past the main offices-""I'll be there in a minute, come meet me outside." Wilbur hangs up and immediately pulls out of the parking space."You're gonna freak him out," Tommy says idly. He doesn't care at all about this, about how badly everything is screwed up because they just had to kill Dream, of all people, fucking Dream."I imagine telling him his uncle killed his boyfriend is going to freak him out worse, " Wilbur says through gritted teeth. He loves Techno. He likes Tommy a lot. But the two of them could have just fucked over his relationship with his son-He's been trying so hard to fix things with Fundy. His son was so scared when he learned how his father could control emotions, so sure that everything they had was artificial. Fundy was so disconnected from everything after that, struggling to believe that anything was really real-And now that they're better, that he's happier, that he was considering eternity , everything has gone to shit.Wilbur screeches to a stop in front of the building. He's about to call his son again when Fundy bolts out the front entrance, making his way to the car as soon as he spots it."What happened?" he asks as soon as he jumps into the front seat. "Is everyone oka-?" Fundy looks into the back seat, presumably to check that Techno and Phil are there, but- "Uh. Aren't you-?""Nope," Tommy lies immediately. Wilbur glances back at him for a quick moment- there was a bit too much nervous-anticipation there. Not that it doesn't make sense. Everything is about to go so wrong, he just didn't expect Tommy to care.Fundy stares at him for a moment before looking at Wilbur, who's already pulling away from the school. "Dad. You didn't. ""Fundy," he starts, not sure what he's thinking yet, but Fundy interrupts him."Did you fucking find Clay's missing brother? Okay, I'm mad at him for cheating-""He didn't cheat on you," Tommy interrupts. "Gogy isn't into him."Fundy stammers a bit before continuing. "-okay, I'm mad he, he dumped me, then- but you can't hold his brother hostage!""Oh, Fundy," Wilbur sighs. "That's not what's happening.""I chose to be here, actually," Tommy says. "Well, not here here, Wilbur fucking threw me into the car, but like, with the Syndicate.""Aren't you like fifteen?" Fundy asks incredulously."Sixteen, bitch.""You- you were not this rude last time I met you-""Yeah, because Claaaay didn't want me to be." He makes 'Clay' sound like a dozen syllables. "Anyway there's some fucking news, big man.""Tommy," Wilbur hisses, pushing annoyance unintentionally. It's not helping his case."Hey, why'd you bring me if you didn't want me to talk to him?!" Tommy snaps, the annoyance infecting him. "Anyway, what the fuck are you gonna do, huh? You're gonna break it to him that his ex fucking sucked? I'm the one who knows anything about it!""Hang on!" Fundy yells over the end of Tommy's sentence. "What is going on? What's the emergency- why are you here and not with-?""Your boyfriend was a piece of shit hero!" Tommy yells, throwing his hands up."Tommy!" Wilbur swerves harshly to pull over, and there's a loud thud as Tommy's head hits the window. "Wai- shit, sunflower, are you okay?"Tommy huffs, reaching up to rub his head. "Why the fuck are you calling me that...?" His words come with pain, but everything else he's feeling is... muted. It makes Wilbur feel even worse, because Tommy isn't-He shouldn't be muted. His feelings aren't dull, the way Tubbo's used to be, they're loud and so much and even when it's bad, even when he's scared or angry, it's so genuine. Right now, he's just... shoving down whatever he's feeling. And Wilbur can't stand that."Are you okay? I didn't mean to pull over that fast, did you-?" he unbuckles his seat belt so he can turn around and reach out, wanting to see the bump, but Tommy presses himself against the window out of his reach."I'm fucking fine, primes," he hisses, pressing his hand harder against where he hit it. His eyes flash for just a moment, and then he's left holding a small cornflower. "See? It was nothing." With the flower also comes irritation-wariness, no longer so dulled."Alright." Wilbur sighs. "Alright." He turns towards his son, who just looks all the more confused, his head turning between the two of them. "Fundy, there's... this is Tommy. He's, ah... the new 'business partner' I mentioned before.""...he's fucking sixteen!" Confusion-alarm-distress- fuck, he doesn't want to scare him off, he can't risk scaring him off-"I know," Wilbur says, pushing just the tiniest bit of calm, needing to calm his son, his little champion, his flock . "But it's okay, I promise. His... brother-""Not my fucking brother," Tommy snarls, FEAR-longing- it's so goddamn overwhelming to try to balance the two of them at once-"I know , Tommy, but Fundy thinks- Fundy, Tommy isn't actually Dream- fuck- Clay's brother-"Fundy cuts him off quickly. "What did you just call him?"The car falls quiet for a few long moments. Tommy is the one to end it. "Surprise! Clay's Dream." Wariness-wariness-wariness- why is he so concerned about Fundy's reaction? Wilbur is the one who has to break it to him that-"But... but Dream died," Fundy says quietly, denial-denial-fear . "He- Grandpa killed him last night. Didn't he? Everyone's been talking about it, how he was- he was found last night, he died of Withering-""Actually he died of axe to the neck," Tommy adds, oh-so-helpfully." Tommy, please-" Wilbur hisses. He doesn't want to do this, he doesn't want to upset Fundy further-"He, but that's, Dream's dead, he died last night, how could he- he isn't-" Fundy swallows hard. "That isn't, it couldn't have been Clay, you- Dad, you wouldn't-" Denial-fear-FEAR-"Calm down," Wilbur whispers, with the force of an ocean behind it.Fundy and Tommy both instantly collapse, Tommy slumping against the car window while Fundy depends on the back of his seat to keep him upright. It was too much, too strong, but he couldn't let Tommy make things worse, he couldn't let Fundy be so upset."There we go," he says, reaching out to pet Fundy's hair and give him a little scratch behind one of his ears. That's always made him feel better, ever since the first time Wilbur picked him up and held him in his arms. "Now just let me explain, okay?""Mhm," Fundy hums, too relaxed to refuse him."Tommy is a healer. He was forced to work for Dream, but he ran away and asked to join us. We didn't kidnap him, we're not going to hurt him- it's okay, I swear. But... Dream hurt him a lot, and Tommy wanted us to get rid of him so he didn't have to be so scared that Dream would take him again." Tommy lets out a noise of protest, calm-confused with some incredibly faint distress underneath it, but Wilbur ignores it for now, pushing a little more calm into his next words to keep Tommy from getting worked up again. "I promise, Fundy, I didn't know he was the ex you mentioned until this morning. I wouldn't have hurt him without your permission if I did.""Okay," Fundy sighs, letting his eyes close."Do you have any more finals?""Mm-mm," he hums a negative."Good. You said you'd come home soon, didn't you? I think now is a good time," Wilbur says, petting his hair one more time before starting the car back up. "We can pack up your things and bring you right home until next semester. You'll see Phil and Techno again, you can ask them all those questions you had before, and you can get to know Tommy. Isn't that a good idea?""Mhm."Wilbur keeps chatting as he drives them to Fundy's apartment- anything he can think of to keep the illusion of calm going. He's terrified of what will happen when he lets it fade. He dials it back a little when he parks, not wanting them so relaxed they can't stand, but still keeps talking, absolute fucking nonsense, he's just chattering about music and he can't even enjoy it because he has to keep pushing calm, calm, calm.He rushes packing Fundy's things, shoving anything he can think of into suitcases- clothes, books, and most importantly a little plushie named Yogurt that Wilbur gave him years ago that he still has, a little proof that Fundy loves him despite the things Wilbur does, what a failure of a father he is-It takes two trips to get Fundy's bags and computer into the car, and Wilbur is quick to start driving home. His throat is burning about halfway through, the nonstop talking running his voice ragged but he can't stop, can't risk their reactions now.Wilbur doesn't even have to ask. His healer, as forcibly relaxed as he is, leans forward. Wilbur almost runs the car off the road as Tommy presses a hand to Wilbur's throat, and the pain quickly fades, his voice returning to normal mid-word. "-thank you, sunflower, you're so sweet, aren't you? So snappy, so angry and scared all the time, but when you've settled in and you're happier you'll be so bright, a light in our lives just like Fundy- oh, Fundy, sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry..."The second half of the trip is just apologies. He begs for forgiveness a dozen different ways, but they can't forgive him, not when he's making them so calm they can't even recognize that he's upset. He doesn't know how to fix this.He needs Phil, who was his hero when Fundy first started spiralling, the one who got his little champion to open up and admit what was wrong. He needs Techno, too, Tommy's favorite for now, maybe forever now that Wilbur's fucked up so badly. Maybe for all of eternity- but he needs eternity, needs it for both of them, his son he's so terrified of losing and his sunflower who will keep them all safe.Just an hour. Just half an hour. Just fifteen minutes. Just the drive up the road, Phil and Techno already outside the house, already waiting for him because he left so fast, without listening to them, if he'd just listened maybe this wouldn't have happened-Wilbur throws the car door open as soon as he's parked. "Phil," he croaks, desperation. "Help."