Dark Truths

Chapter 25

Leo POV

**12 years ago**

I stare down at the grass, watching as it moves with the wind. I'm sitting outside on the little swinging bench we have. I've been here for-..probably hours at this point.

I can't be in that house. Everything- everyone is too miserable. Including me. Guess I really am a hypocrite.

I hear footsteps, and a second later Jay sits down beside me on the bench.

We sit in silence for a minute, before Jay starts talking. "How are you holding up?" He whispers, and I stay quiet. What type of question is that? "Why are you always trying to comfort people when you're going through the same thing?" I ask instead.

"It's my way of coping," He says honestly, and I nod, not knowing what to say. "Your hands are shaking" Jay comments, and I look down to see he's right.

Whether that's from the crying, the cold, or the pain, I am unsure.

"Yeah," I mumble, trying to get them to stop. "Mine do that too sometimes," Jay says, and I relax a bit. I no longer try to stop them from shaking. I forget I don't need to hide things from Jay. He never judges.

"Are you okay?" He asks next, and I finally look away from the grass and face him, a scowl on my face. "I found out yesterday my brother- our brother fucking died. What do you think?" I mutter, before turning away again.

Of course I'm not okay.

Jay stays silent for a minute, letting me calm down a bit. "You're hurt" He states.

I tense up immediately.

"You hide it well but I notice. Is your back okay?" Jay asks, and I look down at my lap as tears run down my face.

"Leo?" Jay asks gently, and I turn to him. His eyes move from my tears to my quivering lip, and his concern seems to only grow. "Leo what happened?-"

Without even thinking, I throw my arms around him. Moving my arm causes a burning pain to take over my whole back, but I squeeze my eyes shut and just hug him. In an instant he has his arms wrapped around me, gently hugging me into his chest.

"Leo-" He stops talking when he hears my cries, but I can't hold it back anymore. I'm sobbing into my brother's chest and I've never been more humiliated but I can't help it.

"Shh, you're okay" He whispers gently, running his hand through the back of my hair, trying to calm me but all it does is make me cry harder.

"It hurts-.." I mumble, my voice cracking as I talk. "What does?" "Everything" I cry out, another round of tears hitting me.

He stays quiet for the next few minutes while I try desperately to get a hold of my emotions.

I'm fucking seventeen. Way too old to be crying into my brother's chest when I'm upset.

I finally shove Jay away, turning around on the bench to face away from him as I quickly try to wipe my tears away. But they keep coming.

Jay places a hand on my shoulder, gently trying to turn me back around. I look at him reluctantly. "Hey- Hey it's okay to cry" He assures me, but I shake my head.

"He'll see, I can't-"

Jay suddenly grabs my face in both his hands, forcing me to look right at him. "Fuck him" He mutters. "You are allowed to cry. You are always- always allowed to cry" Jay tells me seriously.

My eyes cloud with more tears. "But-" "You're not weak Leo. Crying is normal. Crying is human. You are allowed to cry" He tells me, with nothing but honesty in his eyes.