just too soft for all of it

prolog

The winter air was exceptionally chilly today and Todd was wrapped up in a coat, scarf, beanie and gloves.
There were a few tiny snowflakes floating down and getting caught up in his lashes, so by the time Todd arrived at his new office his vision was slightly blurry.
He was already 5 minutes late and judging by the cars in front of the building, everyone else was already there.
He cursed under his breath and pushed the glassdoor open, almost tripping and falling when he entered.

Voices were coming from a room down the hall and Todd rushed in the direction, quickly pulling off his hat and gloves.
The thought of crashing that meeting right now, even — or maybe especially because— they needed him there, was killing him and making his insides turn painfully.
He had been stressing out about the new job and the new people and the new work space in general already and being late on the first day certainly didn't ease the fear.

Carefully and slightly out of breath he opened the door and a table full off people had their eyes locked on him.

"Mr Anderson, right?" A man, maybe in his fiftys was smirking up at Todd who's face heat up. He felt like his heart might jump out of his throat any second.

"Yes, I'm so sorry, I'm late" He said breathy, lingering at the door frame not sure if he should sit down or not.

"Yes you are, please take a seat and we'll introduce you to the team."

Akwardly Todd squeezed past two girls to the only free seat left. He already wanted to leave. Why did he ever think, that he had an actual chance at this? That they'd actually want him out of all these talented authors in new york city?
He carefully slipped out of his coat and waited for the man to tell him more.

"Alright, Mr Anderson, you already know me, we talked on the phone. I took the liberty and gave everyone a copy of the script you wrote," He felt himself blush slightly. Todd seriously wasn't used to people praising his work, "And we've also casted the female and male lead already, which I hope meet your expectations. Neil Perry and Ginny Danbury."
He nodded to two of the people across from Todd, a guy with brown hair and brown eyes and a girl with the most amazing locks Todd had ever seen.
The guy—Neil—smiled at him and Todd's cheeks went an even darker shade of pink.

"We'll do table reads for the next two weeks and then rehearsal on stage until Christmas, when obviously the play is being put on."
Todd nodded stiffly and Neil held out another one of his scripts so Todd could read along. Their hands brushed for barley a second and Todd almost let the script fall on the table at the sudden contact.

They spent over 5 hours going through the script for the first time and Todd seriously couldn't have been happier with his main cast. Neil and Ginny were both incredibly talented and their chemistry was greater then he could've wished for.
It was insane to him. One day he was sitting all alone in his tiny appartment with chinese take out and a newspaper that wrote about a man, needing an author for his play and the next he was packing up the script he had written, with the people who all were working on putting his play on. Todd was already mentally calling his brother about this, when someone softly tabbed his shoulder. He turned back around, hat on slightly awry and Neil was smiling softly at him.

"Hey, I'm Neil. Perry, Neil Perry." He introduced himself again and Todd couldnt help but fiddle with his hands anxiously.

"Yeah, I know. I uh— I really liked your performance, the way you talk I mean. You have a great way of making the lines come alive." It was probably the most he had ever spoken to a more or less complete stranger ever and a compliment as well?

Neil's smile grew, "Couldn’t have done that without your great writing. Seriously dude, I loved reading it."

"Thanks," Todd breathed, "I wouldn't have ever expected it to be actually put on somewhere."

"What? That's insane! You're really talented." Todd's face heat up. He couldn't tell if Neil was really flirting with him and he didn't want to get his hopes up, but that smile made him want to change career paths and become a poet, only with poetry about Neil Perry and his bright smile.

"So, I gotta go now, Ginny's waiting, but I'm excited to be working with you, Todd." He reached up and carefully fixed Todd's hat. Todd blushed furiously.
He couldn't tear his eyes away from Neil as he walked away, flung an arm around Ginny and— pressed a kiss on her temple. So much to him flirting with Todd.
Something stung in his chest. What a great reminder that right now he needed to firstly and foremost focus on his career and this play and not on some random actor he had just met.