Forever the Taylors?

13

Dear Journal,

I can't believe that I have a whole one-year-old. Well, he's almost two at this point but his first birthday was surely something. Tensions between Zac and I were still high after the incident with Sam and his shirt last week. I've never been an insecure or jealous woman but my husband getting undressed in front of another woman so casually will never sit well with me. I don't care what anyone says. They'd take issue with it too. It was evident from us sleeping together that he still wants me. But Zac's past reputation with women leaves me questioning this "employment" frequently. It doesn't help that the girl is honest to God beautiful. Just watching her command him and he follow, burned me to my core. I know Zac isn't sleeping with her. I know he isn't. But he needs to create better boundaries between them. but then again. Who am I to tell him how to run his household? I don't live there anymore. Nah, fuck that. he's still my husband. Anyways. Back to the baby's birthday. I had to meet with my peer counselor the morning of the party. He was like a sponsor. Whenever I was having feelings that were too big for me to handle alone, he was my first line of defense. My therapist referred me to him when I left the program early. Rock was cool. He'd spent time in the program after his wife and daughter were seriously injured in a car accident. His wife succumbed to her injuries in the hospital and his daughter came home in need of 24-hour care. He was her nurse for three years all alone when she suddenly passed in her sleep. He'd done two stays at the program and now he was helping other people work towards healing. Rock and I were at the coffee shop near my old office when Andi walked in. I hadn't spoken to her in months. She sent me emails and texts, but I rarely responded. The messages slowed down and eventually stopped. I didn't blame her. Who wants to keep reaching out and being ignored? Ohh Andi.

"Fatima?" Andi stood in front of the table shocked.

"Hey Andi" Fatima answered back nervously.

"w-what are you doing here? Hi. Can I hug you?" Andi said falling over her words excited by the presence before her.

Fatima rose and hugged her friend. "I'm just here with a friend of mine having coffee." She hoped Andi wouldn't make a big deal out of the introduction. She didn't want her to know all of her business.

she eyed Fatima suspiciously. "A friend?" Andi turned and faced Rock "Hi. I'm Andi. And you are?" Andi extended her hand.

"Hi Andi. I'm Jamel. Everyone calls me Rock." He shook her hand.

"So, Fatima." Andi said focusing her attention back on her friend.

"Andi. I will call you this evening I promise." Pleaded with her friend through her eyes.

"Ok Fatima."

Andi got her coffee order and left. Andi already knew Fatima was back in town. She checked on Zane regularly. She's even kept him a few times just to give Zac a break. She and Phoenix had really stepped up in Fatima's absence. Zac told Andi that Fatima was back already, but Andi wanted to give Fatima space to get herself together before she reached out to her. she was surely not expecting to see her out on a date and not wearing her wedding ring.

Fatima got to the daycare center ten minutes early and sat in her car calming her nerves. She and Rock had finished their conversation and talking to him really did help with her nerves. It was the first time that she'd ever been into the building since before the baby was born and she was sure that she would get uncomfortable stares from some of Zac's employees whom she was sure knew their business.

When she got inside the daycare center there were a bunch of children and staff gathering in the largest classroom preparing for the celebration. She looked around hoping to spot Zac amongst the crowd when a daycare worker approached her.