𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐚 𝟐𝟓𝟖 [𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧]

𝟑𝟐. 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬

"You really think Louis has no secrets? He has more secrets than all of Glen College put together. Only that bastard is good at keeping his secrets hidden." There was almost a hint of admiration in his voice. His words made me think. Was Zayn right?

In the end, he too repeatedly reiterated to me that he had a lot of secrets. How much was Louis hiding? By now I thought I knew him well, I considered him a companion, a friend, a brother, a lover, but reflecting deeply on the matter, I realised that I knew absolutely nothing about him. So far I had been fine with it, but I couldn't continue like this.

"We were talking about you Zaynie, not Louis, he's not into it right now" something I couldn't have defined through my friend's eyes, but whatever it was I didn't like it at all.

"Wrong answer Styles, Louis always has something to do with it, indeed Louis is at the centre of everything, he is the cause of this crap that surrounds you" his words hurt me, I knew that Zayn had always had it against Louis for the story about Daniel and I had always understood and tolerated him, rolling my eyes and shaking my head if he said something mean about him, but now he was crossing the line. He shouldn't have involved Louis, because he had absolutely nothing to do with it that time and I told him.

"Leave him alone. I know you resent him and I can understand that, but he's not at all like you think. You should stop blaming him for every injustice that happens in the world just because he's made a mistake, have you never made any Zayn? I knocked up a girl who had an abortion. I created a life and that same life died soon after and I was immensely relieved by that. Isn't that the same thing that happened to Louis after all? A mistake that happened and has turned into someone's death. Indeed, perhaps what I did is even worse since I was happy with that death"

Zayn in a fit of rage threw a punch against the wall making me jump, i didn't like to see him so angry, it was almost scary.

"I hope you're kidding Styles! How the fuck can you compare what happened to you to what he did? You're so blindsided from this image that you have made of him that you can't see the truth. You say he's not what I think, but the truth is, he's not what you think. He's not a fucking God Harry, much less a poor innocent boy victim of events and accused by all unjustly. HE'S A KILLER HARRY" I covered my ears with my hands as I told him to stop, that it wasn't true and that I didn't want to listen to him, but he didn't stop.

"He killed a poor innocent boy, ruining his family's, his friends', mine's life." He looked at me almost with contempt as I kept trying not to listen to him. "And now it's ruining yours too"

"It's not true" I protested "My life has totally changed since I met him"

"I don't doubt that Harry," he replied, "but has it changed for the better?" I was about to say yes, that it has changed for the better, but he cut me off before I could even utter a single syllable.

"Think about it Harry. What would your life have been like if you had never known Louis? We could have had fun, me, you, Niall and Liam, live a quiet life here"

I would never have become gay.

In Holmes Chapel I would have fucked that chick.

I would have never told Nick I was gay.

Nick would never try to rape me and we would still be friends.

Nick would never have joined me at this school.

Niall and Liam wouldn't have to avoid me and they wouldn't live in constant fear that their secrets would be revealed.

And now I wouldn't be here arguing with Zayn.

"He has nothing to do with it" I tried to repeat less and less convinced "He makes me happy," I admitted weakly and Zayn's eyes filled with disgust.

"Really Harry, really? Is that why for every time I see you smile for him I see three more times where you look upset?"