she wasn't quite sure what the correlation between being an idol and being good at golf was, but she was one hundred percent sure that a group of old men just pressured her to play golf. despite her attempts to say she was bad, she was still put up.
"seriously, i'm warning you all, i'm bad." the men, once again, began laughing. "it's okay, just try," ilsung spoke through a laugh. she nodded, turning to face the hole in the distance. she hit it, a loud noise coming from the contact between the ball and the club. she didn't make it too far, but was glad to have at least hit it. she made it in the hole after seven tries.
"you know, now that i've done it, i think soobin-oppa should do it," sakura sabotaged. she cringed, but knew if she used the honorific he would definitely have to go. the old men agreed with her, and he stepped up to the stand. he took in a deep breath, and hit the golf ball with all his might. she watched with a gasp, he got a hole-in-one.
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TWO?!
soobin was tired, so fucking tired. not physically, but mentally. life drained him of everything he had, and he just wanted to disappear. he didn't want to die, no, he just wanted to be gone. there was no good solution.
every night he would spend hours awake, trying to get his mind to stop. to stop overthinking things, to stop overanalyzing everything. he didn't have control over his own body and he genuinely hated it.
waking up in the morning was fine, but having to get up immediately to exhaust himself physically wasn't. he wondered if the other five felt similarly. there was one question always plaguing his mind: when would they get a break?
he followed the never-changing routine that day, getting up just to go to practice. he loved being an idol on most days, but definitely not on days like these. just looking at the practice room made him want to faint.
he put on a brave face and entered. he tried his best to act as normal, he was the leader after all. he shouldn't burden the others with his problems. it wasn't their job to take care of him, it was his to take care of them.
his body felt like jello after after practice finally ended. he went straight to his room once making to home. his plan was just to sleep, but sakura followed right behind him inside. he put his stuff down, ignoring her and going to the bathroom to change.
once he got out, he waited for her to speak. "i'm proud of you, you know?" her statement left him confused out of his mind. "what- what are you even saying? that's so random," he replied. she licked her lips, "you seem stressed." well leave it to sakura to know the boy like the back of her hand.
"so i was just saying i'm proud of you for sticking around even when the world can be such a cruel place. you're so brave for waking up everyday and getting ready for the day ahead. i say that because i know how hard it is. and soobin, i want you to know something. the world can be messy, stressful, uncomfortable and so on, but it's wonderful most of the time. and that's because you're in it. you make this planet wonderful. so keep braving on. like i said, i'm proud of you."
