Beloved Nemesis

Chapter Seventeen

"Sloane, how do I look?" Eva smiled as she showed me her outfit. She's now wearing her uniform, and I almost could not recognize her because of her short hair and the glasses she's wearing.

"You have some eye impairment?" I asked.

"Nah, it's just for fashion. Besides, one of Zuo Hang's ideal type are girls who wear glasses and has a short hair."

I blinked. Unknowingly, I looked at myself in the mirror. We are currently in the comfort room, and the large mirror immediately slapped me with the fact that I don't fit his ideal standard. My hair is on my waist level and I don't think I'm going to look good in glasses.

I sighed and shook my head. So what? It's not like fitting in his standards matters. I don't even like him! I groaned out of disgust to my thoughts.

"You okay?" Eva asked as she probably noticed how I'm groaning all of a sudden. "I'm not sure if that's actually his ideal type or not. Somoene posted it on the internet and it got lots of likes, so maybe it's legit."

I opened the faucet and washed my face. This is not you, Sloane. This is not you. You don't care about his standards. You're not comparing yourself to anyone or anything. Grades over looks. Grades over crushes.

I went still. What? Crush?

"What's going on, Sloane?" Eva asked when I groaned once again.

"I'm going crazy." I vaguely answered and let the water run to wash my face once again.

"Anyways, Zuo Hang is arriving today. See?" Eva showed me a picture of Zuo Hang in the airport and I stared at it for seconds. It's been a while since I last saw him.

"I'm going to the airport to meet him later on," Eva giggled.

"You're going to cut classes for him?"

"Hmm, if it's because of him, sure why not?" she smiled. So this is how fangirling is like. You're willing to sacrifice everything just to meet and see him again. She really does love Zuo Hang, doesn't she?

I made a small smile. "Good luck then. I'll have some things to do in the school office."

.....

I was walking to my coffeeshop with my mind going elsewhere. I just couldn't help but think about my past thoughts and doings. Looking back, I realized how I've been doing something wrong all this time.

The unintentional gaze, the unconscious smiles, my worrying remarks about his health in the pageant's talent portion, worrying about his grades, and now being curious if I fit in his standards. Curious if there's a chance that he'll like me.

I want to slap my face. So I'm really infatuated with him? Since friggin when?!

I held my chest and I could feel my heartbeat racing. No. This can't be for real. Of all people, I'd be infatuated with someone lots of  girls want? Unacceptable.

I stopped on my steps and tried to calm myself. But it was no use. The mere thought of him is already bugging my system. Especially the fact that I finally acknowledged that I have feelings for him.

But it would be better if I already accept it. I can't solve this if I keep denying the problem in the first place. I have to stop my feelings for him, and the first step to do that is to actually admit that I like him.

I rolled my eyes. Fine, yeah right. I like him.

But still! I stomped my foot. Why? Of all people, just...why?

I breathed deeply and tried to calm myself once again. Sloane, nothing's gonna happen if you keep arguing with your thoughts. Just acknowledge the feeling...and then let go. Simple and easy!