The Living Fictions

Chapter 33

Napayuko ako doon. After all this time, napagtanto ko na wala yatang sinabihang iba si Ryden about sa break-up namin. Maybe it hurt him a lot that he doesn't want to tell everyone about it.

“Ate, I'm sorry pero w-wala na po kami, a month na din ang nakalipas.” May parang bato ang tumama sa aking dibdib nang marinig ang aking sinabi.

Napatigil si Ma'am Dara doon. Halatang nagulat.

“O-Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. So, that explains why,” tumango-tango ito.

Explains ang alin? Tanong ko sa isip. At parang narinig niya naman iyon dahil tumitig siya sa akin after.

“This past few days, alam ko namang may pagka-malamig na personality iyong pamangkin ko but now, para na siyang binuhusan ng yelo. God! He's getting colder. But anyway, I don't know what's the main reason why you two broke up but hopefully kung ano man ang reason niyo, magkaroon sana kayo ng closure. If you want to move on faster. ”

Closure… I don't know if nagkaroon ba kami ng closure dahil hindi naman kami nag-away. I mean, ako iyong galit sa kaniya while him? I don't know nalilito na rin ako eh.

Move on? I know I still love him but sometimes, move-on is like forgetting about the two of you. Forgetting your feelings and finding yourself. That's my definition of moving on. Do I really want to forget him na? But honestly, I can't.

Napansin niya siguro ang pagiging tahimik ko dahil bigla niyang hinawakan ang aking kamay. Ngumiti si Ma'am Dara sa akin.

“I know you still love him and I know Ryden does too. I don't want you to assume things pero kilala ko ang pamangkin ko dahil ever since he's still a child, ako na ang nakakaalam ng halos lahat ng thoughts niya. Kaya bawat kilos niya ay halos alam ko na.” She genuinely smiled at me.

Mahal pa ako ni Ryden? Despite sa lahat ng sinabi at inakusa ko sa kaniya? I don't even know if tama ba lahat ng naging hinala ko sa kaniya.

“Ano pong ibig niyong sabihin? ”

“What I mean is, if you want him back then just call me. I will warmly help you. Baka maunahan ka pa ng iba diyan, siguro napapansin mo naman na may dumidikit nang mga babae sa kaniya di'ba? So, don't worry I will help you, okay?”

Win him back? parang ang kapal naman ng pagmumukha ko non. I know, I still love him but ayokong magpaka-selfish. I hurt him so I want to say sorry and I want to clear things between us. Ayoko ng ganito, wala kaming closure at pareho kaming nahihirapan.

“But ate, alam ko pong galit si Ryden sa akin.” pag-amin ko sa totoo.

“Hmm, basta sure ako, na despite sa galit niya sa'yo, mahal pa rin nun! Araw-araw ka ba namang bukambibig sa amin t'wing nasa hapag, from the top talaga. He even told me that he got attracted to this girl named 'Ayezza Nathalie Acosta' hanggang sa inamin niya din sa'kin that he's falling inlove! Naku, kung nakikita mo lang ang itsura niya habang sinasabi sa'kin yon.”

I can't help but to smile. “Sobrang sakit at pagkukulang lang ang dinulot ko sa kaniya, ate. He's too good for me and he doesn't deserve it.”

“Di'ba dapat siya ang may karapatan mag-decide kung sino ang deserve ng pagmamahal niya among all people? So, you couldn't really tell. If he wants you for the better and for worst, then that's it. Tsaka hindi naman padalos-dalos sa desisyon ang pamangkin ko e.”

Somehow, tama naman siya. Ryden isn't the type of guy who would decide recklessly. He's too smart to be one.

“If her mother worries you, stop worrying about it. Okay naman kasi si ate. Tsaka I think she wouldn't mind you for his son now.”