Future of the mockingjay

Chapter twenty-one: Answers

"Nothing's changed," I say defensively, grasping my bow tighter. "I'm still Katniss."

Gale chuckled, looking at my clenched fist. "Catnip, we all change; we can't help it. We're not made to be perfect." He takes a step closer to me. "We make mistakes and then we regret those mistakes." His fingers find their way to my cheek and before I know it, he's brushing away a strand of my hair.

"Gale, stop," I say weakly, but I don't step away; I don't even turn my head.

"Catnip, I'm sorry," he says, his breath encasing my face. "I know how long you've been waiting to hear that, and I've been waiting just as long to say it. I can't turn back time to make you love me again, or to bring back Prim, but I can make this time we have together right again, so that maybe we can start over?"

"Gale, you know we can't do that," I say, forcing the words out. "You know we can never start over."

"Don't say that, Katniss," Gale protests, his face crumpling in pain.

"I'm with Peeta now," I say, once more taking a step back. "I have two kids! You can't expect me to just run away with you and live happily ever after! That's not how life works."

"I'm not asking you to run away with me," Gale says quietly.

"Then what, Gale? Are you going to move back here? There aren't any jobs for you in District 12. And besides, we both know that this place holds too many memories for us to handle. I'm barely hanging on by a thread, Gale! If you come and live here now, my thread will break."

Gale takes a step forward, following me yet again. "Will your thread break if I do this?" He teasingly stroked his hand across my cheek.

"Gale," I say, wishing I had the strength to walk away.

"Hmm, how about if I do this?" Gale asks, lightly touching my lips with his finger.

"I think..." I lean in closer, inhaling his smell. "I think I just might be able to handle it." And then, ignoring all the voices that were shouting at me in my head, I leaned in closer, until our lips were inches apart.

"Good," Gale says, pulling me closer, "because then, you'll be able to handle this." His lips pressed down firmly on mine, and they tasted like fire. I dropped my bow on the ground, wrapping my arms around Gale's thick neck. This reminded me even more of why Gale and Peeta were so different. Peeta was soft and sweet, like a puppy that always wants to please you. But Gale was like a firecracker: energetic, full of fire, and totally unpredictable.

"Gale, we should stop," I manage to say briefly.

"We should," he murmurs, but he just kisses me again.

"I said, stop!" I say, pushing him away. He staggers back, shocked. I look down at my hands. Did I really just do that?

"Katniss..." He reaches out but then pulls his hand back, still staring at me incredulously.

I feel my lips with my fingers, realizing what I had just done. What we had just done. "Oh my gosh, Gale." I look up at him, struggling not to cry. "How could you?"

He widens his eyes. "How could I? Well excuse me Katniss, but a second ago, you seemed just fine with the fact that you were kissing me."

I jab my finger at him. "You kissed me!"

He rolls his eyes. "Oh come on, are we really going to argue about this?"

I pick my bow off of the ground, feeling anger, regret, and pleasure swell within me at the same time. I don't think I can handle this. "Yes, Gale, we really are going to argue about this!" I scream. "I'm a married woman! With two kids!"

"Katniss, you didn't know what you were doing, ok? It's been a long time since we've seen each other," Gale reassures, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I jerk away, turning around. I press my hand over my mouth, as if I could take back kissing Gale. As if I could take back the guilty pleasure I felt when his lips touched mine. Tears brim in my eyes, and they spill over. Sobbing, I turn around to face Gale once more.

"This is all your fault," I say softly, tasting the salt on my lips. "Why did you even come here in the first place?"

"I told you, I wanted to say sorry," he says, looking away uncomfortably.

"That's not all!" I accuse him. "You had something to say to me, so just say it! Stop being a coward and just tell me what you want to say!"

He glares at me, his face filling with anger. "You think this is my fault, Katniss? Well it's not!" He pulls out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket, throwing it onto the ground.

"What are you doing?" I yell at him, staring at the paper. "Don't try to change the subject!"

"Ok, fine! You want answers? Well I don't have them!"

"Just tell me why you're here!"

Gale stares me down, and I feel as if his eyes are about to start throwing knives at me. "You want to know why I'm here? Why don't you ask your beloved husband?"

I blink in confusion. "What are you talking about? Peeta has nothing to do with this!" Last week, Peeta agreed to admit himself into the hospital to have his hijacking problem addressed.

Gale stares at me, his eyes wide, "So he really didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I demand.

He kicks the piece of paper towards me with his boot. "I'll be by the lake." He turns and stalks off, his hands in his pockets.

Eyeing the paper carefully, I reach down and pick it up. The paper was worn and the creases were faded, probably from being read over and over. I walk out to the rocky ledge and sit, dangling my legs over the edge. Slowly I unfolded the paper, treating it as if it could explode any second.

I don't understand why Gale thinks Peeta has any part in this, I think as I smooth out the paper on my lap. I gasp in surprise when I realize the handwriting.

It was a letter from Peeta.