Caring For An Age Regressor

Intro

So, if you're reading this, I'd assume that means you know someone who regresses and would like to care for them. But to start off, are you sure you know what age regression is?

For a basic summary, age regression is a defense mechanism in which one's mind reverts to a previous stage of development- early childhood or even infancy- to cope with things such as flashbacks, panic attacks, stress, etc. in a safer way than how an adult mind would.

For more detail, age regression is nothing new. I've seen a plethora of people online saying things along the lines of "this thing you call 'age regression' is just a new TikTok term people use to get away with cringe roleplay" or even "age regression is just a thing people started saying to get away with a fētish" and that's just blatantly incorrect! The term regression was first coined by psychologist Sigmund Freud in the year 1900, in which he described it as "an unconscious defense mechanism, which causes the temporary or long-term reversion of the ego to an earlier stage of development (instead of handling unacceptable impulses in a more adult manner)."

It's incredibly common- many people use regression without realizing it at all! It can look like something as simple as wanting to sleep in your mom's bed because something is upsetting you and you want that sense of comfort, or even whining and stomping your feet to display your unhappiness in a particularly difficult situation. However, the kind of regression I'll be discussing today is a more extreme version of it.

For some people, regression looks more like using a pacifier, drinking out of a bottle or a sippy cup, playing with toys, coloring pictures, and watching cartoons. These things can help very much to further push the safe, innocent, curious feeling that comes with regression. It is important to remember that age regression is almost always an involuntary defense mechanism, and it changes the way the mind processes things for that amount of time. One who's in a regressed headspace will take in their surroundings much as a child, or even toddler, would take things in. Things like toys and coloring with crayons and kids' cartoons might be just as entertaining to them as it would be to a child. They might display their unhappiness by whining or crying or stomping their feet.

"But WHY regress?" This is a difficult question to answer, as different people use this coping tool for different reasons. For some, it's a direct symptom of a mental disorder, illness, or disability. For example, age regression is a natural symptom of C-PTSD! For others, it's used to make up for a bad childhood, or even a childhood that was never given to them; a way to regain "childhood" memories and feelings. And for some transgender people, it's even used to form a "childhood" in the correct gender! For example, a trans woman who grew up only allowed to play with "boy toys" and wear only "boy clothes" might wish to play with "girl toys" and wear a tu-tu or a plastic tiara while regressed! Being in the headspace of a child can be much safer than not! For example, when I'm regressed and having intrusive thoughts of self harm, I'm not thinking "ah, yes, I should do that"- I'm thinking "oh, why is this on my mind? that's scary, I don't want to do that." And that's a much healthier way to perceive those thoughts! Children's brains don't think to do things like self harm, intake drugs or alcohol, or starve themselves, so it can be legitimately safer!

"How do I interact with people who are regressed?" Well, first and foremost, I'd recommend asking them if they even want people to interact with them while they regress, as a lot of people don't. It's not a shameful thing by any means, but some people feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, or even unsafe, while regressing in front of others. But if they are okay with it, I'd like to suggest a few things! Using a soft, gentle tone with them would be very helpful! Remember, a lot of regressors use this defense mechanism to cope with trauma-related flashbacks. So definitely don't yell or talk in an aggressive tone! Don't talk about things you wouldn't talk about in front of an actual child! A regressed person's mind is taking in information very similarly, and it's a very delicate safe space. Discussing adult things might cause them to leave that headspace before they're ready to, or even cause a flashback or a meltdown. Offer them their comfort items! If they're regressed, there's a very good chance they're in that headspace as a result of something scary or stressful, and a little comfort could go a long way. Plus, it can remind them that you aren't annoyed with or uncomfortable with their headspace. And lastly, DO NOT sęxuálize their regression!! Again, a regressed person's mind is processing things the same way a child would! It hinders their ability to consent to adult things like sêx, and it is not just a roleplay!! This can be a legitimately traumatizing experience!!