The Ferris Program

Part 3

I opened the door, seeing my European boyfriend in a sweater holding a bouquet of roses. "Agi, I love you," he murmured.

I threw his bouquet at his face, shouting, "No, don't say that. You always leave me when I am in a bad mood."

"Agi, you're such a kid," he said. I knew he was right, obviously because the man was much older than me. "Logically, we're calmer after having space, I just want you to deal with your own feelings. Fighting isn't good for us, Agi. I don't have time for it."

'I don't have time for it' was what he always said to me, like a slogan. I guess it must've been a price for loving mature people then. The older we grow, the less time we invest in our relationship. Isn't it the fact?

//

"I feel weak," I frown.

"No worry, I'll love you more on your bad days," her voice turns soothing.

"You love me more on bad days?" I ask her back. It's quite quick for a stranger to say something like that. Moreover, this line is so sweet, compared to 'I don't have time for it'. Shiet, my ex-boyfriend's line still stings so badly, like a bee.

Perhaps she realizes something, I feel her slight shrug, "Just saying."

"I wanna run with an acrobat," I randomly say.

"What to do with an acrobat?"

"Running."

"Silly," she chuckles, "I mean why?"

"Guess I only told you that, and it's a random fact about me."

"Bruh."

I tell her, "Your turn."

She asks, "What turn?"

I grin, "A fact about you. Because I told you mine."

"I didn't ask for it," she retorts.

"Still, tell me, I won't use it against you. Orrr, you're scared?" I challenge her.

The Muslim girl thinks for a while, with her brows furrowing. Okay, she's spooning me from behind, so I don't know her exact facial expression. However, people are predictable. Of course I can guess how she reacts based on previous clues.

Then she leans to my shoulder, saying, "I disappear sometimes."

"I don't understand," I say, "you mean you disappear in the world or from your problems?"

I feel her shifting as she shrugs. Again, this bish shrugs, I feel irritated so much.

Finally she tells her story, "I hide in my room sometimes, feeling myself melting and non-existing. Just my natural reaction when life is kinda overwhelming. Then days later I will present myself to the world when I'm okay. I know people gradually leave me for that reason, as I appear rude and ghosting. But I don't want to."

Poor you, I intend to say. I understand how it feels, I once did that. And I hope the world is kinder to you.

"Opposite to me, actually," I reply, "I'm kind of bombarding people with my feelings. One time my closest cousin told me that I was like bringing the whole world to take an exam with me, because I was anxious when I took the test. But I passed it, haha."

"Nice," the girl comments, "so I guess the Ferris Program algorithm tends to match opposite people then."

"We'll see. Maybe so, maybe not." Still I don't get why it matches a girl with a girl.

.

As I mentioned before, it was at the last minute that I applied to this program in March. Now it's April 1st, everything turns into a big joke. Notwithstanding, the irritation at the beginning dies down slowly, I start to enjoy our cut-off sentence conversation, with the Muslim girl who shrugs many times.