(TW: MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM)
I sat at the front of the Mauri, today was the day the tulkun returned. I had been up since early in the morning before the sun came up "come on come on" I stared at the entrance to the reef awaiting the horn and the splashes of the tulkun. "Y/N they aren't coming for another 3 hours," My brother said as he grabbed onto my shoulder, I hissed at his cold hands as I turned around "I don't care" I dismissed my brother's words as I continued to watch the entrance. "Y/N come inside" Tsireya chuckled, I simply shook my head as I remained focused on the opening. "Come on Y/N" I heard Neteyam say from inside "No I have to be there when Aonora comes back" I yelled back still focused on the entrance "The moment you hear the horn we're gonna leave I promise but until then just come inside" The boy insisted but I didn't budge "No Tey I'm staying here" I replied. I heard a groan come from Neteyam along with a quick shuffling sound "Come on" he groaned as he grabbed under my armpits and dragged me against the floor "No let me go!" I whined as I kicked around like a child throwing a tantrum "now stay there" Neteyam spoke to me as if I was an Ilu in training and I hated it. "Ugh, whatever dad" I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms. "Thank you YN," he said kissing the top of my head, he quickly got back to helping his mother with sharpening the weapons. "This is gonna be the worst 3 hours of my life" I cried as I flopped back lying in a star position on the floor.
-TIME SKIP-
It had been a few hours and how I had made my way back outside to the walkway. Suddenly I heard the signal go off and my eyes lit up. The tulkun came flooding in the gate "GUYS THEY'RE BACK" I said bursting through the doorway, my siblings quickly stood up running to jump into the water. "NETEYAM HURRY UP" I whined as he jogged over to me staring at the beauty of the creatures. I grabbed his hand as we jumped into the water, Filën was quick to react knowing instantly knowing what was happening. We bolted through the water, Neteyam was attached to me making sure he wasn't going to fall off, we quickly resurfaced as we made our way through the pod. "LOOK IT'S AONORA" I screamed as I waved at the creature tears forming in my eyes. Once we made it over to my spirit sister I quickly detached myself from Filën swimming over to Aonora. "Hey sis" I smiled as I hugged my sister. "Hello, sister! who is that?" Aonora signaled, the clicks and different noises forming words. "This is Neteyam he's come from the forest to stay with us," I said as I waved my partner over "Oh a boy do you like him," he asked curiously slightly tilting her head "I love him very much" I cheered as I grabbed onto his arm "Ahh I see," Aonora said as she laid out her fin reaching for Neteyam's hand, "Y/N what is she doing," Neteyam ask nervously, he had never seen such a creature this big so it was natural to be anxious "It's ok Ma'Teyam just put your hand out" I explained giggling at the boy's curiosity. He was quick to grab onto my sister's flipper "He is a kind boy I like him," My spirit sister said looking at me "I'm glad" I respond smiling as wide as I could "wait what did she say" the forest boy asked as he turned to look at me, "She says you are kind, she likes you she thinks your very sweet" I said as I soothed the anxious boy.
I swam my way under the water to talk more privately to my sister, I needed some advice but I didn't want Neteyam to know. "Nora did you and your mother ever fight" I signed looking at my sister with sad eyes "of course we did! but we always sorted it out" she responded as we looked at me "are you and your mother fighting" worry instantly covering Aonora's face "Yes... it's about Neteyam actually she doesn't like him and she wants me to be with Rotxo!" I signed anger starting to show "Oh Y/N I'm sorry I wasn't here," Aonora said as she swam closer to me "No no it's ok Nora," I said as I smiled at the Tulkun. "I don't know what to do she wants me to mate with Rotxo today!" I was so worried about me and Neteyam not being able to be together fully because of my mother, I was so so scared. "Sister you can only fix this problem one way and you know this," Aonora said with concern in her eyes "I know but what if he is not ready I mean I don't even think I'm ready myself!" I signed back "Y/N there might not be another way" my sister answered back sadden by my situation "I know" I answered back. "I'm sorry Y/N," Aonora said, I couldn't help but feel like I burden Aonora with all my problems and it hurt like being stabbed in the heart "No I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought this up," I said as I latched onto my sister hugging her tight. We resurfaced after a couple of minutes "Remember to talk to him about it" Aonora said in a cheery tone "Yea yea" I rolled my eyes laughing at my sister. Everyone in the village had returned home so me and Neteyam had done the same. "So what did you guys talk about," Neteyam said as he looked at me "Um I'll tell you later," I said as Filën slowed down at the entrance of the Sully's home. "Thanks buddy" I said as I rubbed his head, Neteyam got up first and he then helped me get up "Just the person I was looking for come with me" I saw my mother stand in front of me, her firm grip caused my arm to ache "GET OFF ME!" I squealed, I knew exactly what she had come for and I wasn't going to let it happen "I'M NOT MATING WITH HIM GET OFF ME YOU PSYCHO" I yelled repeatedly hitting my mother on the forearm. That's when I saw a hand grab my mother's shoulders "She said let go" I turned to see Neytiri standing in between me and my mother. "This is not your problem go back to your home" My mother hissed as she continued to drag me along, "I think it is my problem Ronal" Neytiri continued to follow me and my mother along with the rest of the Sully family. We eventually made our way to the place we're every Metkayina mates, It's like a little cove just outside the village, Rotxo was already there sitting on a rock "You're gonna stay in here until it happens you hear me" My mother warned, flames in her eyes. I started shaking from fear I had never seen her like this, she used to be so sweet to me we were close but now she was my worst nightmare she is someone I hated with all my heart. I stood there shaking tears filling my eyes. "Y/N It'll be ok I promise" Rotxo said as he came up to hug me, but he soon stepped aside so Neteyam could comfort me. "Oh Y/N don't cry my love" Neteyam squeezed me tight, his arms wrapped around my back rubbing up and down. "She isn't your's so move it" My mother ripped Neteyam off me "don't touch my son!" Neytiri screamed, Jake was holding her back at this point "I'LL DO AS I WISH" my mother roared looking Neytiri. "Do it now" She pointed to Rotxo, I looked at the boy who was in shock at how the situation had esculated. "No I'm not doing it! especially not infront of you" I yelled through my tears, my eyes shut closed "I also refuse" Rotxo spoke up his head was high but we could all tell he was trembleing "Shut your mouth if you know whats good for you boy" My mother growled "leave him alone" I muttered as I looked at my mother "You refuse to do it than you can not be Tshaki or my daughter" My mother looked through me with her blue eyes. Her words cut through me like a knife slowly pushing its way through my heart "You're really going to disown your child because she doesnt want to marry a boy she does not love" I whispered as I looked down at the ground the site of my mother made me ill. "Yes that is exactly what i'll do" I had enough, I charged at my mother pushing her roughly "GET AWAY FROM ME" I said as I pointed to the entrace of the cove, the light from the sun was the only source of light we had. "NO NOT UNTIL YOU COMPLY WITH THE WILL OF EYWA" my mother screeched as she positioned herself "THIS IS NTO THE WILL OF EYWA THE GREAT MOTHER IS HERE TO BRING BALANCE AND HAPPINESS NOT ANGER AND TEARS" I hissed as I looked right at my mother, I couldnt recognise her, the women I grew up around the one person I looked up to the most was gone. "NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT" I bellowed my tears still flowing from my eye's, "I JUST WANT THE BEST FOR-" I cut my mother off "NO YOU DONT YOU WANT WHATS BEST FOR THE FAMILY NAME" I screamed, Neteyam was holding my shoulders making sure I didnt lunge at my own mother "WHAT CHANGED YOU WERE SO KIND AND CARING NOW YOUR GREEDY AND RUDE" I sobbed, I missed my mum I just wanted her back. "WHY YOU LITTLE BITCH" my mother started walking towards me before Jake stepped infront of her "I think it's best if you leave now" Jake said in a dark and low tone, I knew it was over the argument had finished and thats when i let go. I let my body drop to the floor I felt a sharp pain in my knee but I didnt care anymore. I sobbed into Neteyam's chest as I heard the yelling from my mother, Neytiri and Jake. "Hey shh it'll be ok it'll be ok" Neteyam whispered as he rocked me back and forth almost like how you would rock a baby, I couldnt get any words out I wanted to speak but nothing was coming out, all I could do was gasp for air and cry. Eventually my mother left, once I calmed down I was taken back to the Mauri. The entire walk home I was just in my thoughts 'I hate myself look at what you've done Y/N this is your fault your the probelm' I couldnt stop the thoughts from flooding in. I was done with I couldnt do it anmore "hey lets go up to bed ok" Neteyam ushered me to the bed where we laid down, I felt so weak almost like I was losing control of my body and thats when it happened I blacked out but whilst I was out I saw something, It was a big boat but it was covered in blood and fire, and the rock from my dreams it wasnt to far away and then a flash of white past my eyes and thats where I saw it again, Neteyam's lifeless body laid there on the rock but this time we we're all surrounding him, Lo'ak held onto me as I screamed into the air, Jake and Neytiri doing the same. Tsireya cried silently as she looked at Neteyam's body, suddenly everything went red and then I woke up.
-Time Skip-
It had been a few days since everything happened, and I had been cutting. whilst everyone was out I was stuck in a house with just myself and my thoughts, it's always one more and then thats it but I just kept going. I havent left the bed so It was easy to hide but today Neteyam insisted I went to see Aonora since she was leaving today, I was practically screwed set up for failure. "Come one Y/N you need to see her even if it's just for a couple of minutes" Neteyam rubbed my thigh as he sat on the edge of the bed, I squirmed from the pain of him rubbing the wounds "Fine but can you get my cover skirt" I whispered as I carefully turned around "Of course love" Neteyam got up to look for my skirt, I mainly used it for when it was cold but I had to cover up some how. "Here you go I'll be out front ok" He quickly gave me a kiss before walking down to the enterance. "Fuck my life" I got up and looked down, I saw the cuts. The purple colouration around some of the deeper ones caught my eye 'they brusing just fucking great' I didnt even know that was possible but apperantly it was. I got up to put my skirt on and then I quickly made my way down to where Neteyam was waiting. "Come on" he grabbed onto my hand as he quickly pulled my along to the water. The stinging sensation wasnt new but it wasnt something I was used to, I got onto his Ilu we gently glided through the water as we made our way over to Aonora "just wave over when your ready to leave I'll be on that rock over there" Neteyam said as he helped me off his Ilu, I glided into the water turning back to Neteyam "I wont be long you can stay if you want Ma' Teyam" I said hinting that I wanted him to stay, but he was always so dence so of course he didnt get it "No no you to need some alone time" He said as he rubbed my cheek "I love you ok I'll see you later" Neteyam said as he kissed me before bolted off over to the rock near by. "Hey Aonora" I said in a saddened tone "What's wrong" Aonora hummed as she looked over at me. "Everything like I mean EVERYTHING!" I exclaimed as I sat on my sisters fin. "I heard about what happened the other day" My sister said "How?" I asked confused "Rotxo's Brother came and told me" She chirped as she moved her fin slightly "Oh" was all that could come out of my mouth, "What's that on your leg Y/N" Aonora questioned causing me to snap out of my trance, I hurridly looked down to see my thighs were out in the open 'FUCK FUCK FUCK' I quickly covered up my legs before I brought my knees up to my chest. "You're doing it again arent you" the tulkun questioned and I couldnt help but nod, I couldnt lie to her and plus there was no point she already saw "Y/N you know what your supposed to do when you feel like cutting" Aonora looked into my eye with sadness "I know I just... I couldnt help it this time" I mumbled I knew she would understand but I also broke our promise and I felt horrible.
We talked about it for a little before changing the topic "Did you talk to Neteyam about the whole mating situation" my spirit sister looked at me, she knew the answer but she just wanted to check "No I was going to but well you know what happened" I responded as I looked at the tulkun, her eyes where blue unlike most tulkun and they were stunning. They calmed me just like Neteyam's both their eyes had a magic touch to them that made me feel at home and safe. I finally felt happy and nice for the first time in a couple days, It was nice it was really really nice.
A/N: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG OMG OGM GKKFEUHFIGRJFRINJRORFNJWOFEWFK SO MUCH HAPPENED ALSO I WANTED TO SAY THAT ANYONE WHO IS STRUGGLING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS OR SELF HARM ALWAYS HAS A SAFE SPACE TO TALK SO YOU GUYS CAN ALWAYS ADD MY SNAP AND VENT IF YOU WANT IT'S FINNYEYE (IKR SO CREATIVE) HAVE A AMAZING DAY MY LITTLE LOVELYS MUAH MUAH
word count: 2766
ESTÀS LLEGINT
Forest Boy - N. Sully
FanfictionI hope you guys enjoy this update will be a little slow but I'll try to get those chapters out as soon as I can Fem-ish reader
