on temporizing || Dream SMP Timeloop Fic

Chapter 18

Sapnap pointed triumphantly at Tommy, turning to Punz and George. "Exactly! See, that's what I've been telling you!"

George let out a tired sigh as Punz turned his gaze heavenward. "Fuck," the mercenary groaned. "There's another one."

"Anyways," Wilbur coughed.

"Wait, no we can't just ignore--"

"For the sake of my sanity, we can and we will," Wilbur interrupted, glaring at Fundy. The fox hybrid shut his mouth. "Now where were we? Ah yes-- give us independence, or give us death. We'd rather die than join your SMP."

The dramatic tension lasted for all of three seconds before Tommy broke down cackling.

~~~

Dream stared at Tommy. Tommy grinned at Dream. Dream raised an eyebrow.

". . . A little warning would have been nice."

Tommy's grin widened. Dream sighed.

"Okay, I'll bite. How?"

"Snuck in while you were sleeping, hit you with a hax weakness potion so you wouldn't wake up, stole your mask, repainted it, and slapped it back on."

"Uh-huh." Dream nodded. "Y'know, one of these days, I'm going to dye your hair green."

Tommy snorted. "'S not my fault you don't look in mirrors."

"Lime green."

"Speakin' of, why don't you look in mirrors?" Tommy mused aloud. "Is it 'cause you're ugly?"

"Lime green with sparkles."

87.

"Hey Sam Nook, can you curse?"

Sam Nook tilted his head. AWESAMDUDE HAS PROGRAMMED ME TO AVOID PROFANITY.

"That's fuckin' stupid," Tommy muttered. "I curse all the time."

The android hesitated. IT ISN'T GOOD TO CURSE IN FRONT OF CHILDREN.

"Okay, first of all, I'm not a fucking child. Second of all-- you're literally two months old."

YOU HAVE A POINT, Nook acknowledged. BUT I STILL PREFER NOT TO CURSE.

". . . Hear me out," Tommy said. "Come visit the prison with me, and address everyone as 'bitch'. Except me, of course. Call me the biggest man or some shit."

WHY?

"Because it's funny."

I FAIL TO SEE HOW THIS IS AMUSING, Nook admitted. Tommy huffed.

"It's funny to me," he amended. "C'mon Nook, please? For me?"

Nook remained unmoved. Tommy switched tactics.

"We've made a ton of progress this week," he wheedled. "The hotel can wait for a day. Don't you want a break from building?"

I AM AN ANDROID, Sam Nook deadpanned. I DO NOT REQUIRE REST.

"I need a break," Tommy amended. "C'mon big man, just once?"

Nook hesitated.

"Please?"

WILL IT MAKE YOU HAPPY?

Tommy nodded vigorously. "Oh yeah. Definitely."

Nook inclined his head. VERY WELL. I WILL DO AS YOU SAY.