Call Me Lover - LN4 / GR63

11 / this party's over

Lando only shakes his head, at first I think he's disagreeing then the words "Shitting hell!" Leave his mouth in a hiss and I realise he's in disbelief too.

What the hell have we done?!

It all came back to me in hazed blurs this morning when I jumped away from Lando's naked body. Him suggesting I join the party instead of wallowing over George. How his hand fell to my back at the bar as I poured shots. How I suggested we leave then couldn't find my key and ended up trailing behind him here. How over a sobering glass of water his lips seemed to fall on mine as our heads spun with tequila and jaeger.

I can't think about it. I wish I was more drunk so I had an excuse, or the details are blurred when I think back to them. It's all crystal clear, I knew what I was doing from the moment my lips brushed his.

"We have to tell him." Lando has only spoke in disbelieving mutters since his own eyes peeled open, wide with shock at what we've done. This is the clearest thing he's said in twenty five minutes.

"We can't." I choke out, eyes widening as I smooth the dress out over, as if my hands touching it will erase Lando's touch of the fabric. They won't erase his touch to my skin, I can still feel everything.

"He's my friend, we have to tell him." Lando chokes as I continue to search the floor for my underwear.

"And he's my boyfriend, we can't." I snap in return watching as Lando wipes another hand over his face. The nude briefs have been left crumpled by the door to Lando's room, no doubt messily gathered as we stumbled in to his room trying to erase any evidence as we moved. "What good would come out of telling him?" I ask and the man who my boyfriend (who I love with my whole heart) considers such a good friend just shrugs. My throat tightens. There's only thing that could come from him knowing is the end of George and I. "I lose him and you do too." The thought is enough to make my heart crumble inside of me, I'm pretty sure I've already broken it. My own stupid little actions have broken it. "I-it'll break his heart!"

"Carla..." Lando is appalled at my words but he knows they're true. He's paler than he usually is.

"I have to go. I have to get out of here." The words are choked from me as I slide the underwear up my legs.

"You can't just go! We need to talk about this." Lando's eyes are wide and blurry with the remnants of the alcohol we downed last night. Waking up beside him completely in the nude was sobering enough for me.

"About what?" My throat tightens with the question. Lando just stutters not anticipating my resistance. "About how I slept with you last night as if I didn't have a boyfriend?!" He cringes at the raised volume to my words. "About how you forgot my boyfriend is also one of your best friends?" Lando is just green with the fact, my lip wobbles too. This has to be the dumbest thing I've ever done.

I need to get out of here. I have to leave, I should be at the flat. George said he was going to be at the flat.

"W-we need to..." Lando huffs. He's right, we do need to...do more than this. I can see the cogs turning in his mind, fingers running through his thick curls. The thought of them between my fingers makes my eyes flit away, guilt hitting me with another punch to the gut. If I think about any of it too hard I'll throw up again. "You stayed here because you couldn't find your keys. You took the couch and gave me shit about it, it's not the gentleman-" This time when Lando interrupted its not by me.

His phone is buzzing against the bedside table and it's as if we both know who's calling. From the terrified look on my face you'd think he were about to walk into the room. Lando has paled, lips parting and my chest rattling through a heavy inhale.